Lots of good info, and I'm sorry so many of you have had such a horrible time with your skids. Just to be clear, NOTHING has happened here, BUT.....if DH and I were to STOP walking on eggshells and have this fucking primadonna be responsible around here, she would probably throw a tantrum.

TGIHB, my DH has disciplined SD19 some, but who wants to hear her whining and crying when the wind blows the wrong way? She keeps saying she and I will never get along. You're right, because if you were an adult, I would still think you were an entitled, stuck-up, narrow-minded person who thinks of no one but themselves. I don't LIKE to be around people like you. I've tried to chalk it up to immaturity which is part of it, but she's just useless.

Meerkat you gave some good info on ODD and BPD. I tried to get SD19 into therapy over the past two summers and she went 2x last August. DH just wants everything to be yippy skippy and I see it breaks his heart that his DD can be so difficult, but he needs to discipline her more. I realized that if I am disengaged, I should be going through DH anyway.

No, there is no violence in this house, just eggshells and entitlement. She's already parked on the couch in the LR. We bought this house because it has a huge bsmt with room for a huge TV, but SD19 never goes down there. Maybe that should be the new thing, no watching TV in the LR. I could lock it with one of the codes LOL.

I like how a lot of you have said that if she's living here for free she's not too old to have consequences, even at her age. We have been paying for her cellphone bill since 2009. Yes, 2009. I wasn't even married to DH then, but was living with him and had a joint checking account. SD19 would shit a brick if I put parental controls back on her phone. We used to do that when she was in high school. Next spring when she gets home from college, she will start paying her cell phone bill. Younger SDstb13 will be getting ready to have a cell then, and I'm not footing the bill for both. SD19 will probably have a shit hemmorage. Good, then she can pay car insurance on her TWO cars as well (BM left her one when she died).

~ Moon

SD19 works 3-4 days a week, mostly on the weekend, so I don't see her much. But when she's home she's such a troll....noisy, lazy. You wouldn't know it from looking at her. You'd figure it out after she opened her mouth, though.

Last night DH got home and I told him I wasn't cooking. He made some burgers on the grill and the SDs sat down in the kitchen with us. SD19 commented on DH posting something about minimum wage on fb, and I looked at her and said she doesn't make minimum wage. LOL she makes about 25cents over. She has had the same fast food job for three summers. I said she should aim a little higher, now that she's older and has work experience. There she goes....immediately SNIPPY, "What am I supposed to do? Find a new job with 3 weeks left until school?!" I politely said no, just maybe plan ahead for next year...

What I WANTED to say was, "You're a lazy dumbass who thinks everything should be handed to you, so it's no wonder you aren't further along with summer employment." See, it's something like THAT which would set her off. That's when the arguments would start. Then SD19 starts running her mouth to me like we're best friends. I know she needs a female figure in her life, and just wants someone to listen to her, but gheez....She was complaining about an older woman at work asking for help and SD19 didn't want to help because "it wasn't HER job." I replied, "Yeah I know THAT feeling...." Right over her head....Didn't get that one at all lol.

I have always engaged in polite conversation, given her advice, but I have been disengaged for 2 weeks now. Her father and her sister had already left the table, I was there and almost just walked out on her, too....I cut the conversation short, though. She is clueless.

Orange, it would be crazy to say I was moving out next summer. But my parents' place is closer to work, it would cut my commute in half lol. So, it's possible!

~ Moon

Forgot to add that SDstb13 came to us last night because SD19 wanted to use her phone charger. She goes through them like water and got a new one 3 weeks ago that is already coming apart.

Thankfully, DH went downstairs and asked her what the problem was. SD19 always takes everyone's chargers and doesn't return them. DH told her to go buy another one and mini-wife got SNIPPY immediately with her father...."IT JUST HAPPENED TODAY!! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO GET A CHARGER." DH let it roll off of him.

Later upstairs I asked if my iPad mini had the same charger as her iPhone5. I never use my mini but you'd better believe that mini AND charger are in my purse as we read. }:)

I used the opportunity to tell DH I didn't like how she spoke to him. He replied with the usual, "Pick your battles." I replied, "But she spoke DOWN to you, like you're a child. I don't like how she speaks to you." He said I thrive on drama, which I do not, I avoid it because I get upset very easily and appear weak. I just feel very strongly for my man and I absolutely HATE DISRESPECT. Whether it's someone sharing the road with me, a co-worker who is a slacker, a smart-mouthed SD19...ALL disrespectful people in my book.

Drives me crazy.

~ Moon

I left a chore list today for SD19 and SDstb13. This was after finding the Sdog's (a real dog, yes) diaper in the powder room trash can. Sorry if TMI but it was a maxi pad that you put in a belly band for dogs that mark their territory in the house. I have a feeling SDstb13 put it there bec it wasn't properly wrapped and had a streamer of toilet paper coming from it. Of course, I have had trouble with SD19 putting her OWN "trash" in there, not properly wrapped. Do it in your own bathroom, where the wild things are, FFS.

So, I was pissed. I have gone a couple weeks, with my requests going through DH only and he is failing. It's only small stuff that needs to be done around the house, but when there are 3 morons that can't get their act together and have been home from vacation for 10 days, well, then it's time to intervene.

I made a huge chore list with about 25 things on it for the girls. I signed it from DH and I. I took pictures of the lists and texted them to DH and told him to back me on this. No going to the gym (19), no studying (19) and no world of Pokemon(13) until everything is DONE. This is partly DH's fault because he doesn't follow through on the things I have asked him to do with chores. I mean, I put a knife and a saucepan lid in the double sink last night while SD19 was THERE doing the dishes. I came down two hours later and they are both still laying there in the sink?!?! I immediately turned to DH in front of SD19 (parked on the couch as usual) and said that the dishes weren't done. I hate speaking to him like a child, but then he had the choice to either do it himself or to get SD19's ass off the couch to finish her job.

He did the dishes himself while SD19 looked on, wide-eyed and moon-faced from the couch. This is the eggshells part. I wanted to tell SD19 in front of DH that SHE didn't finish the dishes and to get over here NOW. It's almost like you have to stand watch to make sure evrything gets done. The knife in the sink had salmon on it and was stinking there for 2 hours after dinner. Nice. It was bedtime so I just directed it at DH.

So,I left the shitlist of chores today. I wrote to the SDs that they were BOTH to do everything UNLESS SD19 had work. Then SDstb13 would have to fend for herself. It's a lot to do.

I texted DH that he and I work all day and these kids have the time to help, we do not. Do I confront the kids directly when I get home tonight after work, or continue going through DH since I am disengaged? I know, I have only written the list because the house has gone to shit and DH needs a reminder as to what needs to be done. I am the reminder and he can be the enforcer. This might get ugly with SD19 if I open my mouth today. I have been quiet for almost 3 weeks. I ignore her sometimes when she is right next to me. It's kinda fun. }:) }:)

~ Moon

Things are RUFF sometimes. I have 5 dogs and the one SDog is the most high-maintenance! LOL

I look at it this way. Each night I have mentioned to DH a thing or two that needed to be done the next day. He could let the Skids know about it or do it himself. He works long hours so I helped by making the list this morning. I told DH that he and I don't have the luxury of "free time." Our commutes are at least an hour ONE WAY.

I was mad that I saw the dog diaper in the trash can so I took 20 minutes to write this list. Too bad, someone's gotta do it. I work every day to contribute, so these kids CAN help out.

I have continually told the SDog to "go towards the light." He is a real pain.

Yes, every luxury the skids have is paid for by DH and I. Cars, electronic devices, cell phone plans.....I envy that the kids can sit around all day, but with that time spent sitting around, they can do a chore per day. NOTHING has been done since arriving back from the beach over a week ago.

Not my problem if it's all piled up. They can start NOW. SD19 is taking YSD to the doctor's today and then I think she works into the evening. Poor SDstb13 will have to get everything done by 3pm mostly by herself. I will call DH at 12pm to get a status update and give him a push to contact the kids.

~ Moon

I called DH and asked if he had checked on the Skids. He said they went to the doc appt and SD19 has to work. He also said he didn't have time to check in on them. Crap. There is no way in hell SDstb13 can do all of the list by herself. Guess it will run into her weekend time. I feel bad but I remind myself how out of control she was earlier in the month and I feel a little better. SDstb13 hasn't showered since Tuesday and she had that appt today.

Ew.

~ Moon