Boom! Twit Errupted - Her Husband Told Her To Stop the Nonsense!

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Man, I could almost imagine I saw smoke coming from about 9 miles south of us yesterday. The chickens are coming home to roost with Twit, due to my herding them back to her.

As you know, she started carp with me when DH wasn't home, and then had the audacity to send me a letter telling me all her grievances with me and how terrible I was. I was going to just trash it, after I showed it to DH, of course. But, as I said before, I am understanding how she thinks and operates. So, I scanned it, e-mailed her husband where he works and sent him the copy. Told him it was totally unacceptable behavior from her and I was tired of the viciousness. Asked for his help in curbing her. And, I got it!

I showed Twit's nasty letter to DH, but I didn't tell him what I did. Anyway, it did not take long for Twit to call DH crying and blubbering. DH had the speaker phone on and Twit was very upset that I had emailed her husband and - get this - started trouble for her, that I had lied to him about some letter she supposedly sent me!

Well, DH told her that he had the letter she sent right in front of her. That he didn't know I had talked to her hubby, but isn't that what she does with him every time she gets a bee in her bonnet about me....calls him complaining about me.

Oh, she didn't like this at all bawled even harder. No one understand her, no one loves her, she wants to die.

DH is aware that I am listening. He told her to get a grip on it and deal with her actions. That her husband is right.

He left it at that.

DH wasn't really happy that I

DH wasn't really happy that I did what I did, but said little after I told him that I had enough nasty letters, etc. from her and it had to stop. Obviously, Twit's hubby also thought she was out of line.

Seeing as she is so threatened by criticisim (the insecurity part of narcissism) I expected her to go out of control and she did not disappoint.

She is loosing it because she certainly wasn't thinking when she put her nastiness in a letter. That was proof. Usually she goes off and if confronted by DH, claims that I am making things up etc.

Oh, left out that she was

Oh, left out that she was also angry at her husband for telling her to stop sending me nasty letters. My guess is that, as in the past, she figured he would never find out about the ugly things she does, or deny them as she does with DH.

IMHO, the first sign of someone getting ready to go over the deep end is when they start getting sloppy in their assassination attacks.

One would think so, fighting,

One would think so, fighting, but Twit is getting very upset because her world, in relation to me and her father, is changing. It is not the same. This is very upsetting to one as unstable as she is.

Any one know if you can send a narcissist over the edge?

Good point Fighting. What

Good point Fighting. What has your husband seen narcissist people do when they are confronted as I am doing?

Thanks Fighting. I figure

Thanks Fighting. I figure that once Twit gets the idea that I know what she is and know how she operates, she will slink away rather than face someone who knows her insecurities, etc.

She, on several occasions in the past, has proudly stated that we (her and I) are a lot alike. Just about made me choke. That, as I know understand it, is projection on her part. Now that I have her number, and see through her, she will probably go at me for awhile until she gets the final message that I don't bite and I know her weaknesses and what buttons to push to send her off.

My ex was a diagnosed NPD. It

My ex was a diagnosed NPD. It DOES shut them down when you explain matter of factly: "You are a narcissist. I understand that you have no morality and think you are superior for it. But you aren't, I actually feel pity for you, like I would any other mentally handicapped person, because that IS essentially what you are.however, now that I understand what you are, and that you do not feel. I am simply going to treat you in the SAME way you treat me from here on out. And you are lucky I associate with you at all, because frankly, you are beneath me and not deserving of my regards at all."

That drives the narc crazy because you are wounding their ego, seeing them for what they are, asserting you are better and most of all: kicking them in the idea that their lack of feeling is an advantage. Comparing them to a mental handicap can cause RAGE in them.

I think you just did

In the past I would never

In the past I would never have even thought about doing something like that. But Twit has no problem starting problems with my DH so I figured - hey, why should her hubby miss out on all the "fun".

He seems to be a pretty decent guy. I think they might be on their way to a divorce as he works extremely long hours, comes home and goes into his man cave (this according to what DH told me when he was living there and from her crying phone calls to him about her marital status).

Me thinks that sending him the letter might be one more nail in her coffin on that matter, but it is not my problem.

Cat - she sent a nasty

Cat - she sent a nasty letter, written, to me awhile back. I didn't even open it, just handed it to DH, who opened, read it, and left to drive down to Twit's house to talk about what the heck she was doing.

So, this isn't the first time, and won't be the last. Just more of her usual dribble, I'm bad, I don't deserve to live, her father would be better off without me. That I don't understand her (oh, she is so wrong on that one, I understand her quite well), etc.

Many of you are dealing with steps that, and I am no way diminishing this, have attitude problems. I am dealing with a full blown, IMHO, psycho with lots of problems.

And, as usual, after pulling her carp, she goes back to daddy and cries and says how she is off her meds, must be menopause, migraines, and the list goes on and on. These are just fall back excuses because she is so darn mean.

DH knows she has "problems" but counseling has taught him, abiet the lesson is tough, that he can't fix her. She has to want help, and she doesn't want to change.....if she can even change.

What's really sad is, yes,

What's really sad is, yes, she really does have mental problems aside from the narcissism, but narcissists typically refuse to get help.

Yes, I have read that.

Yes, I have read that. Mainly because they, like Twit, believe they are PERFECT and the world around them is wrong. Just that in it self is crazy.

I am still absolutely

I am still absolutely astounded that this is coming from a nominal adult, and not a 12 year old!

She'd be great on a reality TV show, since she has zero sense of self-awareness!

Yep - an "adult". Scary

Yep - an "adult". Scary isn't it? She is going to be 50 in early 2015.

"No one understand her, no

"No one understand her, no one loves her, she wants to die." Again?!!!!

I guess she is just on a roll

I guess she is just on a roll Sandye, and getting desperate for attention.

I believe I read that those that threaten really don't want to do something like that, they are just looking for attention. Some of you fine people on the board pointed that out as well.

What is really difficult is not only dealing with an adult step, but one that doesn't have all her marbles for whatever reason.

Normally, if you break off a friendship, the other party just goes away and tends to his/her own life. This one, well, she just keeps a coming and a coming. Crazy is all I can say.

One of the worst movies I

One of the worst movies I ever saw was one where the lead character, who was a gambler, kept doing the same thing, making the same mistakes, over and over again. After about the 3rd or 4th time the movie lost all of it's appeal - if it ever had any. This is what I'm concerned about with Twit's husband.

Sandye, from what DH said

Sandye, from what DH said about the way Twit's hubby was acting when he was living down there, and apparently from what Twit has been crying to DH about lately, I would say her hubby is thinking about things. Hey, midlife for men brings around a whole like of things and changes. Who knows, her hubby could be getting ready to shed Twit and start out again. He is only 50.

I don't know if I said this

I don't know if I said this earlier, but DH wasn't really that happy that I sent the letter on to Twit's hubby. My response was that I saw nothing wrong with it, she always calls and cries to him about her imaginary slights from me.

I also don't know if I mentioned it above, but you all would have been shocked a few years back when we had a garage sale and DH told her she could join in and bring her pots and pans and other junk up. I was absolutely shocked when sitting in the garage and she started dancing up and down the driveway bragging how she was not normal, and had never been normal!. She was really quite proud of it. Probably one of the few times in her life she has ever told the truth.

Cat, you can't hash anything

Cat, you can't hash anything out with her because she, how can I put this, projects her bad behavior back on you. Thus making you the problem, in her eyes. It is meant to disarm and confuse anyone who confronts her with her behavior, and I must say, talking to someone who does this is very difficult and frustrating.

Makes me think of someone who abuses his wife and when she tries to talk to him about it tells her that he didn't do that, or that he only abused her for her own good. You get the drift....it is crazy making talk. Sad part about that is the abuser actually believes that he does what he does for his wife's own good.

Cat - She calls DH because

Cat - She calls DH because she wants to start trouble....period. Poor misunderstood Twit got hammered by the big bad SDM. She does this because she is looking for sympathy and attention from DH, and I realize that now. Twit is one sick twisted person.

The first time I had a problem with her, one she started of course, and I told her I didn't like what she said etc. She ran to Daddy faster than you could turn your head. Poor Twit, etc. But, she also sent me an email telling me that she was going to inflict pain on me...make me pay. That is how she operates.

I remember how much trouble she caused way back then, in fact I have never forgotten. Anyone who goes off like she does, because you stop them from behavior that is not acceptable, and gets vicious is just plain sick. Then, she will act like nothing was ever wrong, she is just the sweetest person in the world, she has it all together. Believe me, it is tough not to grab her by her fat jowls and throttle her. She use to smirk hiding behind Daddy after lying through her teeth about things to him. This happened because at a party I had, where she and DD and others were there, I was talking about the trip I wanted to take, to get booked, and that DH was dragging his feet about it. Basically, I was talking to my own DD when I quipped that if he didn't get a date set, I would be going without him , and laughed. Don't we all say things like that in jest of the situation?

So, what did Twit do? She ran to Daddy and told him that I told her that I was planning to take a vacation without him. Did he know that? Of course, DH didn't have a clue as to what the conversation I was having was and, Twit got him all worked up with alleged details she had of how I was going to sneak out, etc., that he got on me wanting to know what was going on. He was unhappy with what he was told by Twit I was going to do. Thank heaven my DD was there along with her hubby who told DH what was really going on with what I was saying and it was nothing like Twit blew it up to be. Twit had made it sound to him like I had booked this trip alone and was going to sneak out on my own without telling him! She loves to embellish her lies.

THAT, my friends, is how damn evil this piece of work is.

And that was just what she was trying to do with DH about the letter she sent me. DSM was lying, it never happened etc. She was hoping that I wouldn't have shown him the letter. This time it backfired, he had the letter right in front of him.

My BIL is a narcissist too

My BIL is a narcissist too who also does the fake suicide threats when things aren't going his way. He assaulted my DH a few months ago and got away with it because the cops said it was his word against my DH's (even though BIL has two assaults on his record in the past year and DH's record is spotless).

BIL couldn't handle getting called out on his crap behavior and ended up having Daddy Dearest - yes, my DH's abusive father - pay a lawyer to send a Cease and Desist letter to us, basically saying we are not to ever contact BIL or FIL ever again.

GOOD RIDDANCE. We don't want anything to do with those psychos anyway!

I disengaged, and that drove

I disengaged, and that drove her to keep being nasty to me, always looking for Achilles heel. I ignored, same thing. Heck, I even threw her father out of the house because she would go off crying to him about how bad SDM was to her and he would side with her. Counseling for DH seems to have helped with that problem.

So, the only thing left, since she is determined, is to play hardball. Now that I am becoming aware of what sets her off, what her weaknesses are, I might as well hit them when she starts off on me.

No, I am not going out poking this beast to start trouble. But if she brings it on I am going to make sure that she feels the pain (not physical of course) that she likes to inflict on others.

As my Dear Mother once told me, when I was being bullied by a kid in my neighborhood, as long as I ran away he would keep coming and even be empowered by it. BUT, if I inflicted pain on him, hurt him, even if I still came on the losing end, he would remember that I did hurt him and leave me alone. She was right. Once the bully gets that message they go look for someone else to torment.

Yes, it is a concern that she

Yes, it is a concern that she is vindictive and vicious. Like most narcissist, they must win at all costs. I think if she keeps it up with me, she is the one going down in flames.

I saw her at the auction house today. She had the audacity to walk up and say hi to me. I didn't even acknowledge that she existed. Not worth even saying hello to. I was at the auction house by myself today, as DH is under the weather. I did note that after that, Twit made sure she was always close to her hubby, like she didn't want me to talk or say anything to him. Didn't bother me at all, but was just an observation.

I did say hi to her hubby when Twit wasn't around and he gave me a hug, as he usually does, but after that, every time I saw Twit she made sure she was right with him. You can bet your bippy it tees her off seeing her hubby and I get along.

That's a rather gratifying

That's a rather gratifying turning of the tables, SDM. But I would not court the hubby's company even though he's ok. It keeps a tie between you and her, which you want cut.

That's true Poodle. But I

That's true Poodle. But I like Twit's hubby. He's a nice guy. And we have always hugged when we see each other.

Hope he dumps Twit soon so we can remain to be friends.

Got a call earlier today from

Got a call earlier today from my stepson. Seems Twit has been on facebook blasting me to all her "friends".

He actually said he called to give me support. He doesn't believe what she is saying for a moment, as he too, has been the target in the past of her rants. Not being stupid, I said nothing to him about the situation or anything that could go back to Twit, I just listened, thanked him for his support and inquired on how our GGS is doing.

This SS is one nice guy. He doesn't have a whole lot to do with Twit either. But being a smart woman, I don't say anything about anything to any of the steps. I might tell my DD some of what goes on - she already dislikes Twit as she has seen her in action and been the butt of her evilness when Twit started spreading rumors that my DD was having an affair! When I got wind of that I confronted Twit and told her that if I heard that she was spreading any more rumors about my DD I would personally rip her pituitary gland out with my teeth. She got that message.

Note this is another effort

Note this is another effort of Twit to string out the situation and make connections to you. Booze, Drunkie, dogs, threats to sue, phone messages, the auction, now finally FB. What next eh? I know SS is totally innocent of her plotting but I would go further if he mentions again and say it's probably best not to mention her as she has probably only spoken to him about you in order to be referred to by him. That stops her hooks hooking into you.

I'm not only facebook. So I

I'm not only facebook. So I don't know what she says or does and I just don't care.

It's not FB it's other people

It's not FB it's other people repeating FB to you that she knows will happen. That's how messages get moved along. I would tell friends and family you have a rule that nothing gets repeated to you unless they really judge you desperately need to know it.

Good point. In all honesty,

Good point. In all honesty, I never thought about that since I don't do Facebook.

What a nasty and stupid twit

What a nasty and stupid twit she is. I would love to see her FB page. She is going to look so stupid on there talking shit like a teenager. I'm glad you showed the letter to her DH. You've had enough and she deserves what she's got coming. Can't wait to hear what this twit does next. This isn't over by a long shot.

Hi Amber - I don't do

Hi Amber - I don't do facebook or any of those social type sites. Yes, it would be interesting to see what she writes, but it just isn't worth my time. Too busy digging a bigger moat and filling it with alligators to protect myself and my house from her. }:)

From what I understand, even from what the Twit says, when she gets angry with someone she destroys them with viciousness and she is proud of it.

I guess she is busy telling daddy how she has all these troubles, migrains, etc. The same ole, same ole. I just roll my eyes. DH said to me this morning that Twit has problems. Now on this I agreed and told him yes, she has problems....she's crazy and trying to drive us crazy too.

DH's comment? He said I have a valid point there. Man, what a change! This doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings etc. for her, heck she is his daughter. But I think he is starting, and it is a process no less, to learn to separate the chaff from the wheat. If Twit called that she was having chest pains, or fell and couldn't get up, etc. THEN that kind of thing warrants action from us - calling 911, etc. But this other stuff is just chaff to keep her drama going. She lives on this drama I have no doubt. Probably ruminates on it 24/7.

Hi SDM--I don't have a FB

Hi SDM--I don't have a FB account either. I did have one for about a month and I didn't like it because I got over 800 messages and the ex boyfriends started coming out of the woodwork. I'm a married woman and have no good reason to talk to people I haven't seen in 20 years. It's just not for me but I know many people who enjoy using it; to each his own.
I agree with everything you say; Borderlines love drama and they love to stir the pot. I don't think twit will ever change so the only thing you and your DH can do is change yourselves and how to react or not react to her craziness. You have both done this and it is working. The one thing I learned in dealing with my DH and SD was that when I kept trying to point out how nasty she is that DH would get defensive and we would end up fighting. I learned to remove myself from the equation and let her self destruct. This was the best thing I ever did in regards to her. This is when DH started to see her for what she is and finally he was able to see that I was not the trouble maker, it was his rotten POS daughter. I think this is what you've accomplished with the twit situation. You've handled it perfectly and are now not being blamed for her psychotic behavior.
It's pathetic how she always has an excuse; she forgot her meds, she's going through menopause, she has a migraine, blah, blah, blah.......... She is a huge liar and now everyone knows it. She lied about the nasty letter she wrote to you, your DH was looking at it as she lied and said she didn't write it. Now DH can look back and see all the distortions. That's another thing Borderlines do, they distort reality. Also, I would like to point out that forgetting your meds for a couple days doesn't cause immediate craziness as the half life of most depression meds is long and it doesn't leave the body in a matter of a couple days. This isn't true for all psych meds but it is true for many. Also, if it does effect her if she misses a dose then why isn't she responsible enough to make sure she requests refills in a timely manner? It's not that hard to do. I take lots of meds due to my auto-immune disease, high blood pressure, etc. it's my responsibility to not miss a dose. I am an adult and this is an easy thing to do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she is just behaving badly and she knows it so she has an arsenal of excuses ready to go. By the way, it is no excuse for treating people poorly. If you don't feel good and you're a little cranky there is no reason why you can't share this with your loved ones and say " I'm a little short tempered today as I don't feel well, please excuse me if I seem off kilter or a bit grouchy. I don't mean any harm". I've been on prednisone for 4 years and it makes me mean and shortens my fuse. This is a common side effect but I'm aware of it and I don't use it as an excuse to be mean to others.
Your DH seems to be doing really well as a result of counseling. It's hard to admit when your child is a nut job but at some point, as you know, you have to let them know that you refuse to be the recipient of their bad behavior. I think it's really telling that she was dancing around at a garage sale bragging about how she's not normal. She did that for attention and I am embarrassed for her and I don't even know her.
Well, have a good day. I hope she leaves you alone but like I said, I fear this is going to get worse before it gets better. As mean as this sounds I do hope she goes over the edge and ends up in a psych ward. Perhaps this is the only way she will get the help that she needs. I know I sound mean but I say this with the best intentions. Keep protecting yourself and keep doing what your doing. I would save all the nasty messages and letters as you might need this later if you need to get a restraining order.
Amber

Amber - one of your comments

Amber - one of your comments here stood out to me. The one about Twit dancing around the driveway proclaiming how she was not normal and had never been (the truth if I ever heard it.) You said that for attention. Made me get up and get my journal (too old to call it a diary ) where I wrote about that and "how all she kept doing that day was talking about anything that made her look good - that she seemed to want some kind of approval from me, which she wasn't getting. All I was getting was a headache from listening to Twit bray and hoping the time would go quickly".

Never looked at it in terms of being part of her "problem" at that time, just that it was very annoying.

Hi SDM, It's really strange

Hi SDM,
It's really strange the lengths a narcissist will go in order to get attention. She was making a total buffoon out of herself. I wonder why she wants your approval so badly. I cannot figure this out. I also wonder if she likes to make you feel uncomfortable and I bet she enjoys annoying you therefore she ramps up the behavior. Can you imagine what all of those people were thinking when she was dancing around talking about her mental status in your driveway? How embarrassing. I guess bad attention is better than no attention at all in twits mind. It's unbelievable. Twit would make a great case study for graduate students studying to get a masters degree in psychology. You know, I just had a thought; she wants approval from you because she is jealous of you. You symbolize everything she wishes she could have. For instance, intelligence, mentally stable, strong, mature, stable marriage, kids that turned out ok, you get my point I'm sure. Twit pretends that everything in her life is perfect and it's not and we all know it. You on the other hand, you have your act together. I think that must be it. I'm no psychologist but it makes sense to me.

First, thank you kindly for

First, thank you kindly for your post Amber. This Twit stuff has really been difficult to deal with. I am not perfect by a long shot, but I try. As I say, the only person who ever walked this earth that was perfect was crucified. I have a habit of putting myself in the other persons shoes on how I would feel, and that gives a real good reading as to what is nuts and what isn't. One thing that is hard to get a reading on for a long time, was how Twit operates. Now that I am reading up on narcissism, etc., much of it fits her even to her outbursts.

As for me, I've always been independent on a lot of issues. I have never been a follower and am not afraid to go it on my own. My daughter is pretty much the same, as was my mother, my grandmother....heck, I come from a long line of strong women.

Twit dancing around my driveway proclaiming how she knew she wasn't normal and never had been, well, what can one say.

I know that Twit likes to say that we are alike - heaven forbid IMHO. We are not. She is cruel, she likes to be cruel to people because it gives her power - as when she and her one boss sabotaged an employee that gave his notice to mess up his life. She thought that was great. I couldn't believe what she was saying when she bragged about it!

My daughter summed Twit up the other day......said she was just plain crazy. DD says it is hard to have a conversation with her because she always tries to one up anything one says. As DD says, casual talk is not a competition.

Hi SDM, It's really strange

Oh please, Amber, say it

Oh please, Amber, say it isn't so.

I know SDM, it's rough what I

I know SDM, it's rough what I said. I just know from having people like this in my life that they seem to escalate. My ex husband is a borderline and he's almost 50. I met him when he was 29. Over the years he gets worse and worse as the years go by. Like I said, perhaps it would be good if twit went over the edge as then she would learn that she can't get away with this. Outside forces would then force her to see that she is the one with the problem. You and DH are going to be ok as you are on the same page. My SD escalated to the point of no return and now she's out of our lives for good. I am hoping that you will get the same results as we did. Just watch your back. I doubt twit will hurt you. She is going to keep up the crying and whining; that's her MO. As long as DH supports you (which I think he will) you will be ok. Sorry if I scared you but I've been following your story for quite awhile and it just seems that she is escalating the way my ex is.

No, you didn't scare me

No, you didn't scare me Amber, except perhaps the thought that Twit could go on, and on, and on.

One would think these cretins, like Twit and your ex would start to mellow in old age rather than escalate. sadly, I think what happens is they eventually end up in their sunset years and find they are all alone. They have treated others so badly no one wants to bother with them. With Twit, by the time she gets there DH will be gone and probably so will I. Her siblings will have had enough, and her babies, as she calls these adult males of 23-28, will have their own families and you can bet the spouses won't want to put up with Twit nonsense either.

And by that time, if her husband is smart, he would have dumped her for a better life too.

You know what that good book, the Bible, says: As you sow, so shall you reap.

Ok good, I felt bad. I'm glad

Ok good, I felt bad. I'm glad I didn't scare you.

Everything you said is 100% true. My ex has ruined every relationship he's ever had. He can't keep a job and can't have a healthy relationship with a woman. He can't even have a relationship with our boys. It's really sad. He can't even pay his bills or child support. He was ordered to pay $442 a month for 3 kids which is outrageous. He was hiding income and lied in court so that's why child support is so low. He is $5000 in arrears which accumulated in only 2 years! His life is a mess and he is miserable. Twit is probably in a better situation because of her husband. I have no idea how she manages to stay in a relationship and I'm baffled that she raised 3 boys. Only an idiot would go on facebook and trash another family member. Her so called facebook friends are probably not friends at all. Sure they are other pot and pan people. How pathetic. It will be interesting to see what she does next. She's such a damn crybaby.

Twit truly does not deserve

Twit truly does not deserve her husband. I think he would have been long gone if he were not the type that takes things, like vows, seriously.

As I said, I think the break-up is a coming. His father passed away last year and he has, well he was close to his Dad. Now with Twit ramping up etc. he may just be thinking that enough is enough.

Of course it didn't help her at all that I sent her nasty note to him. I know he likes me, calls me Mom, kids around with me., knows he can depend on me if he needs to, like when his father passed. And you can bet that he doesn't believe I deserve the type of carp Twit said to me in that letter. He knows that I don't deserve it, the nastiness she eschewed towards me, the name calling, etc. Also the fact that when I forwarded it to him, I told him I was quite upset by this, I didn't deserve it and would appreciate his help in curbing her in (didn't quite say curb but you get the drift). Obviously, he brought it to her attention.

Wow. I can only imagine what

Wow. I can only imagine what she must have said to you in that letter. When SD was attacking me via email, she sent me a link to a website about "unsuccessful people". This website described people and how they attack others when they know they are inadequate, why they have anger problems, on and on. Funny, I have a bachelors degree and she can't finish a single class at a junior college. Anyways, it would've been interesting to see what her husband said to her. Little miss perfect marriage and perfect kids isn't so perfect after all. Sounds like her husband is getting tired of the drama yet he's been with her for a long time. Her world will shatter if he leaves her. I wonder if she uses the "I want to die" method to keep him married to her. Oh well, not your problem.

That link to the website

That link to the website about "unsuccessful people" was your Princess projecting her inadequacy on to you. I think they do that because their brains are short-wired and just the thought that they are not perfect has to go somewhere else and not on them.

My Twit once told her father that I called her a whore! Trust me Amber, even if I thought she was, that is not something that I would ever say to her or any one else. And, of course, DH when he heard that from her got on me about it. It wasn't true at all and, as I finally got DH to acknowledge back then, is not something would do. Once he calmed down from being agitated by Twit on that issue, he agreed.

Now, as DH says, about Twit (since counseling): I tried with her, it didn't work out. And it was okay with him if I didn't like her. When he said THAT I knew we had made a major breakthrough. So, he knows what goes on with her.

The main thing I want to

The main thing I want to comment on is this nonsense that you called twit a "whore". I have never met you in person (obviously) but I have spoken to you many times and I have read many of your posts. Being on this site, I have found that I have gotten to know some StepTalk members and I can recognize them by their speech patterns (written speech patterns) and by the words/ phrasing that they use. The one thing I KNOW about you is that you refrain from using bad language. You never type out foul words, even the most mild of words. For instance, you call "crap"--"carp". I've only seen you use a bad word one time and you didn't type the whole word out. It is because of this that I know that you would never call anyone (not even twit) a whore. I would think that someone who knows you really well would know this about you. I think recently you used the word "fu***ng moron" and you said you've only used that word a handful of times in your life. I wouldn't believe for a moment that you would use the word "whore" or call anyone names.
I bet your family and friends know this.
The beauty of this is that your DH now knows and cannot deny that his daughter is a damn liar and a manipulative, immature crybaby. Now he can reflect back on all of those years and realize that everything you said was true; that you didn't do the things that twit accused you of. I'm just curious, has your DH ever come to you and apologized for believing twit over you for all of these years?
This is the threat that my DH had to live with and of course when this all got going (before we were married) daddy would defend his precious snowflake as Amber is evil and mean and oh yes, "unsuccessful". I'm so lucky that the step-bitch finally exposed herself for what she is. Twit has now done the same. She will continue to self destruct the way my SD did. Sit back and enjoy the show. These adult bitches are crazy. Daddy (DH) can only take craziness for so long.

You got me pegged right,

You got me pegged right, Amber. The one time I used the F word I was really peeved. Nearing 70 I can count on my hands, and probably only one hand, the number of times I have ever used that word. Basically I figure there are other words to use rather than profanity. BUT, there is the rare occasion and the time I used that was one of them.

No, DH has never said anything about all the times he backed Twit up when she lied about me to him. Deep down I think I knew that he knew it was bunk, but didn't know how to handle the situation, or Twit just upset him so. I think, as he ages, he just doesn't want to do battle with her, he wants peace at all cost. My personal version of Chamberlain, who was more than willing to appease the Nazis at all cost to keep the peace. Well, Chamberlain got voted out, and DH got thrown out for awhile until he saw the light.

Yeah, I would love to post a

Yeah, I would love to post a video of her dancing up and down my driveway bragging how she wasn't normal and had never been normal. That to me would be the ultimate. All them "friends" would probably drop off like flies after seeing crazy in action.

I had this same type of thing

I had this same type of thing go on with one of my stepsons, Mr Drama King! good for you to send the email to her husband and then give a copy to your husband. Action, not reaction is the best medicine. Oh course, if she is anything like my SS was this only further enraged twit and of course she will have to find her captive audience. I think alot of this stems from jealousy and anger without acceptance, trying to take control over something these people have no business to control. Best thing you can do is realize she is the one dealing with her own issues whether she understands that or not.

There is a great book that your husband might recommend for her to read, coming from you it would probably go directly in the trash. The book is called "Change Your Mind and your Life will Follow." It's about letting go of control and realizing everyone has their own journey. Some spiritual quotes but not a lot.

Yes, it is really something.

Yes, it is really something. She can send nasty letters, etc. to me and that in her warped little mind, is just fine. But if I forward the trash to her husband, boy am I terrible. How dare I do that and bring him in on it.

Hey, as I told DH, Twit wants to try to get us riled up, why should her hubby not be part of her rantings as well. Naturally, Twit doesn't see it that way. She see it as me making trouble for her. Oh, too, too bad Twitty. There again is that twisted thinking of I should take abuse and nastiness from her, but I should not do anything to protect myself or give it right back at her...well not directly at her, but you know what I mean.

Is Twit a BPD?

Twit is narcissist to be

Twit is narcissist to be sure, I'm not sure about bipolar - I am not qualified to make those diagnosis on anyone. But as far as the first, the narcissist, the shoe certainly fits Twit. A lot of BP fits as well, but that is just from my point of view.

What I can definitely say is that IMHO Twit is CRAZY!

I know a few people who are

I know a few people who are bipolar who you would never know they were bipolar unless they told you. They are high functioning, responsible, good people who have jobs and care for their families. Yes, some bipolar people are really crazy but others aren't and the people I know would never (let me repeat) NEVER act the way twit does. Bipolar disorder can be treated with meds with great success. Twit is a borderline and a narcissist. These people are very hard to treat and often do not respond to medication and therapy as they do not see themselves as part of the problem.

Right on there Amber. Just

Right on there Amber. Just ask Twit, she will tell you how perfect she is, how her life is perfect, her house, her marriage, her babies. She knows how to handle everything perfectly.

Delusional is what I call that kind of thinking. Heck, I make mistakes etc. and I learn from them. By no way do I think I am perfect. But I do try to be honest, reliable, kind, caring etc. and there are times I am not....why? Because I am HUMAN.

She also sounds a little

She also sounds a little paranoid as well and when she gets caught she resorts to crying to get out of it. Then there's the famous " I want to die" line. What a pathetic twit. Your stories are so fascinating yet so sad. How did she end up like this? Sounds like she married a pretty nice guy. Her kids are having troubles and I think it has to do with being raised by a crazy mother. I am not perfect and my middle child who is 15 is going through some hard times but I think we've all been there; to sit back though and act like nothing's wrong???? Very delusional. Sometimes people begin to believe their own lies and sometimes if you repeat something enough times you may start to believe it. God only knows what has happened to twit to make her like this. Does she still talk to her mother?

Amber, people like you and I

Amber, people like you and I and the others on this board, know we are human. We make mistakes. At the best, we try to learn from them. We are not mean, we do not go out to deliberately cause others pain because it feeds a twisted need to do so. We all have flaws, and knowing that we can accept flaws in others. But there is a limit on what should be accepted because accepting too much carp, or certain kinds of carp from someone, like Twit, would be accepting abuse.

And, being human, I make mistakes, but when I do I apologize for them, sincerely apologize, and try not to do it again.

I know of only one person who ever walked this planet and was perfect and he died on the cross.

With Twit, her way of saying she apologizes is only if you also apologize to her even though you did nothing wrong. Bizarro. I am seeing how very insecure she is at the slightest slight, the slightest hint of disapproval from any one.

She has never been able to hold down a real job. Always does those pot and pan type sales things. The few times she has landed a regular job she ends up being fired and she actually admits when they tell her that she wasn't what they wanted. Or the one job where she was fired and she claimed it was because the guy wanted his neighbor or whoever in the job. I believe the truth is that no one wants to put up with Twit's craziness, the lies, the starting trouble, the sneakiness. Do you know that she use to do these shows with other people that sell pots and pans and no one will do them with her now. She told DH that at one show, where they look for referrals for parties, the other woman accused her of taking all the referrals. Twit told her DH that this was not so, the other woman was just picking on her, that the other woman's son was taking the referrals she was getting and throwing them in the trash! Come on, what a feeble excuse. You can bet Twit grabbed those referrals, that is how she operates.

Of course she grabbed those

Of course she grabbed those referrals. I mean, look at how she acts at the auction house. She tries to tell your DH to instruct you to not bid on an item because she wants it. Right there, that example, proves that she is unscrupulous and will go to any length to get what she wants. One can only have so many pot and pan parties and it must be hard for her to get referrals due to her backstabbing behavior. I recall you sharing that she would leave all the pamphlets lying around and I can just see her pressuring people to buy her over-priced kitchen stuff. I did look up Pampered Chef online and that stuff is expensive to say the least. I bet people run when they see her coming as she probably has no business sense and drives perspective clients away. I believe in her type of business that she needs to have people selling products under her so she can get a cut of their earnings. I really hate these types of schemes and the people who sell this stuff. I hate being pressured to have parties, attend parties or buy this expensive stuff. My philosophy is that if I want something I will go to the store and get it. I don't need someone hounding me to participate in this type of sales scam.
I remember asking you a long time ago if twit was able to hold down a job as I highly suspected that she couldn't. She's the type that would live in the human resources department either crying that others are mistreating her or complaining that other employees are doing bad things. She loves to be in the center of whatever drama she can manufacture and that gets old. It wears others out and then they want nothing to do with that person.
Yes, we are human and I agree that all of us here that participate on these boards are willing to take responsibility for their actions. We do learn from our mistakes and will apologize if we hurt someone's feelings or make a mistake. So many of us have been mistreated by our step-brats. Not all of the step-brats are evil; some have just been raised to be entitled. Others are just plain mean but twit is evil. I mean to be so vicious that she implies that she will make your life hell and go out of her way to destroy you/others who have pissed her off is very telling. How could anyone be proud of that? From what you describe it sounds like she takes pride in hurting others. Why would anyone go out of their way to hurt someone just because they don't like that person? That right there should be enough to alert anyone to the fact that this person is evil, has bad intentions and has nothing better to do than start trouble. Twit will eventually alienate herself from her entire family and her pot and pan buddies. Her husband and her "babies" may eventually turn their backs on her as she is such a source of drama and unhappiness. I fear that she is not salvageable. She's too old and will never see that she is destroying what little she has left. She will die a lonely old woman.

Twit's "babies" are all tied

Twit's "babies" are all tied to her because she still supports them. The elder one weights 400 lbs and works as a stocking clerk, part time in a grocery store. She supplements his earnings etc. There to, we have always heard that this elder "babie" also has suicidal tendencies and has supposedly told his mother he doesn't expect to live long. And the youngest, 23, aka Drunkie, still lives at home and is still drinking. Guess they are still asking for continuances because Twit doesn't like the offer the DA is making for Drunkie.

Heck, I would be drinking too if I had Twit for a mother.

And of course she plays the martyr to the max. Always calling DH to talk about how her nerves are frayed because Drunkie came home drunk again, and this after she talked to him and he promised he was going to stop drinking. DH told her that it was time to lay the law down, if he kept drinking she should throw him out, but she won't do that. Instead she went out and bought him a big screen tv. IMHO, and what do I know, she enables him because then she can be the center of attention with her husband and DH. Otherwise she would prefer that no one else, none of the other family members, know about Drunkie.

Forgive me, only blabbing here because as I do so I can see much better into how she operates, what makes her tick and what she is scared of. Very interesting. She is really quite pathetic and very, very scarey

Twit still talks to her

Twit still talks to her Mother, but lies to keep telling DH how evil she is and terrible she is to Twit.

I met the BM. Heck, she seemed okay. A little too wrapped up in everyone's lives (gossip) but I didn't see anything really evil or loony like Twit. But I wasn't around her that long. And, until we moved down I really didn't realize how bad Twit was.

FWIW, when DH and I first married, Twit tried to draw me into that gossip circle where everyone talks about everyone else whether true or not. Being me, I wanted nothing to do with it. Dh doesn't like that kind of stuff either. Apparently he called her and told her he didn't want her calling me about all the carp she likes to pass. She called ME back then (this was some 20 years back) crying that her father had told her to stay away from me....boo hoo hoo. As I said, at that time I didn't know Twit very well. When I told DH about her call etc., he told me that she always like to stir the pot with people, tells lies, etc....that is how she was.

That is why I got so confused about things when she started off when we moved here and DH would come down on me? Didn't he remember what he told me? Or was it just not liking any confrontation with Twit? Don't know. But his eyes got opened wide again when he had to live with her and through counseling.

I was thinking the same thing

I was thinking the same thing before I finished reading your sentence. So, he knows she is a liar and likes to cause trouble; he stated this 20 years ago. I wonder why he would then defend her years later. This is very interesting to me. Maybe he was hoping she would grow out if it or perhaps now that he has been married to you for a long time, he's more comfortable really being himself in front of you. I guess it doesn't matter. What's important now is that you have his support.

Very interesting to me also.

Very interesting to me also. It was very confusing as well. Like when she said I called her a whore, which I didn't, and I had to defend myself with DH. CRAZY MAKING is what it was and I won't stand for it any more.

I wondered if Twit was trying to "gaslight" me. You know, make me think I was imagining things she said, or said them and didn't remember, etc. That would be appropo for her evilness.

I think, she must really be threatened by me or something. I know many a time she use to comment how much she and I were alike (only in her twisted mind). People like her look for one Achilles heel, they always have to know where to strike for maximum hurt. These are just plan old mean, evil people. Most girls grow out of the mean girl stage, Twit has never left it.

Actually SDM, I think she is

Actually SDM, I think she is believing her own lies. I think she is delusional. So, she says she's just like you yet she sends you nasty emails saying how horrible you are? I guess that makes her horrible then. She is very threatened by you but probably doesn't know why or it's her paranoia kicking in. Paranoia is a symptom of borderline personality disorder which I am confident that she has as I've said a million times. She is mean she evil. She only cares about her personal agenda. Typical narcissist bitch. You don't swear so I will say it for you.

Twit's hubby parents are

Twit's hubby parents are deceased but he has older siblings. I don't think they have too much to do with Twit. Probably for a good reason.

I am soooo thrilled you took

I am soooo thrilled you took the avenue you did. It teaches me to try another way of dealing w my Veruca Salt.

Veruca is 20 ~ n thinks she had a vested right to dictate how daddy's life should be. Ummmmm NO ~ love how she deflected ( if that's the right terminology ) her bad behavior on him like it's his fault. Did you father disrespect you veruca ? no. Did you father make you bully my daughter ?? no. Did you father force you to do drugs, drink, vandalise MY home n my vehicle. No. All your actions veruca. There can not be one excuse involving your father for your bad behavior.

Veruca wrote her father a letter ~ (which I have never read) 3 years ago ~ he told me I could read it but I could careless. There is nothing that could be in that letter to help justify her behavior. But DF told me ~ in the letter she basically kicked him in the balls. Nice daughter huh??? She used to have a lot of friends ~ not any longer. If you don't hate who she hates you are no longer her friend ~ ( remember she's 20 not 10). She can hate on me all day long n forever if need be. The ironic thing is that DF sees her nasty ways but he feels like he needs to be there to guide her ~ OMG seriously !!! I have told him many times ~ I will never stop you from having a relationship with her ever ~ hmmmmm when was the last time you actually spent time with her ~~ Oct ??? If trust doesn't speak volumes to me.

Teach me your ways plz ~ I love you reaction to the letter.

It isn't easy and has only

It isn't easy and has only come along over a period of years, distress, finding this board, throwing DH out of the house until he got his head together with counseling about Twit.

It is knowing how she operates, what she is, and how if given an inch she will take 100 miles going at me.

Before, even with detachment, I would have just showed it to DH (maybe) and let it go. But now I figure if she wants to start with me etc., and she usually gets DH involved, then why should her husband not know what is going on too.

-----If you don't hate who

-----If you don't hate who she hates you are no longer her friend-----
Ain't that the truth. Twit bad mouths every one. Once when she was bad mouthing her BM and her brother, I couldn't take it any longer, and very politely asked her if she talked about us to them about how rotten we were, etc. She got my message and shut up very quickly.

Sorry, sometimes I just wish she were gone and life was nice and peaceful for us. Sadly, I think where ever we do finally move, she will always be raising her ugly head making trouble.

Going to go and watch that

Going to go and watch that new series ManhAttan, which is about the development of the A bomb.

Believe it or not, they had a Viet Nam era rocket launcher at the auction today. Probably should have bought it for protection against Twit. Just kidding, but if the moat with the alligators doesn't work .....

In doing my reading on

In doing my reading on narcisisst I found this and thought I'd post it because it fits my Twit to a T.

>>>>Manipulative as they are, they don't hesitate in playing the victim card when they realize that their assertiveness is not having the desired effect. In normal circumstances, when we know that the person with whom we are interacting has been a 'victim' (of anything, for that matter), we tend to go into a sympathetic mode, trying to console them. This, in turn, makes us more vulnerable to exploitation by narcissists who are well-acquainted with the tricks of playing the victim. Their ability to shift roles from tormentor to victim and back, is quite amazing. If you know that you are dealing with a narcissist, you are bound to be on guard - in that case, you are of no use to that person, and hence you are more likely to be dumped.
Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/narcissistic-behavior.html<<<<<<<<

This is exactly what Twit does when she runs to DH and starts trouble for me. Boo hoo hoo, she is a poor victim and on it goes.

Boy, I am learning a lot. Some things fit and somethings don't but this one was so right on.

Not every individual has to

Not every individual has to have all the traits of a syndrome/disorder/disease to be diagnosed with it. For instance with my disease there are a whole bunch of symptoms and positive tests that they look for in order to make the diagnosis. I do not have all the positive tests or symptoms that one could have but I have enough similar symptoms and positive tests that the doctor was able to make what is called a clinical diagnosis. Twit may not match all of the traits of a narcissist/borderline but that doesn't mean that she isn't narcissistic or so on and so forth. Have you read about histrionic personality disorder in your effort to educate yourself ? I almost wonder if twit has these characteristics too. You see, we all have these traits to an extent. For example, if we all weren't a little narcissistic then we wouldn't survive. It's when these traits become imbalanced that the problem arises. All of these disorders we talk about here belong to what is referred to as cluster B personality disorders. They are Borderlines, narcissists, anti-social, and histrionic. Google cluster B personality traits and you will find good information. It's interesting. I think the more you educate yourself, the more you will be able to fend off any twit attacks.

Oh my goodness! I've read

Oh my goodness! I've read this before in my search for an explanation for SD behavior. At the time, I didn't think it quite fit but wondered if she had some variation of it.

This week, after DH took the car back, SD told him how her BM was so abusive to her. SD has never mentioned this before and even told DH that HE will see his grand kids and BM will not. She doesn't have any kids yet. I saw this as her usual manipulation. After reading this, she's playing a victim. I wasn't at their meeting, but I guarantee DH was over the top sympathetic.

Thank you for posting this!

Just have to comment about

Just have to comment about what DH told me yesterday. I guess Twit has been e-mailing him and told him that her husband is "very upset with me and wants nothing to do with me" because I forwarded her letter to me to him. Evidently, I upset him.

Now, do I believe this? Not for a moment. I know what she is up to. She is upset that I pulled a "Twit" on her and set her malicious communications back to her husband and now he knows what she is up to. What she is doing is trying to set up a block so that if she escalates again, and trust me, the one thing I can depend on is that she will, I won't do the same thing again.

I asked DH what he thought and he just shrugged his shoulders (typical). And of course I didn't tell him what I know because I know how Twit operates now, and exactly why I did it.

Her husband must have really gotten upset with her about what she did. After all, he did curb her when I requested his assistance in dealing with the nonsense she sent. No reason for him to be upset or angry with me.....I didn't do anything.

Twit is just hoping to scare me so that, as I said, when she re-escalates, I will be too scared to let her hubby know what is going on. That is how she operates. What a sick, twisted piece of garbage she is. Always trying to turn the screws on me. She is going to find out that it isn't going to work.

Trying to cover her tracks n

Trying to cover her tracks n build her army !!!

Ugghhh I hate this crap ~ get over yourself SD the works doesn't not pivot for you !!! Sd is NOT in controll of your life ~ you are.

You know Cat, I was tempted

You know Cat, I was tempted to do that. Then I thought about it and figured why bother.

She will be back, and I will get her then. Or, perhaps the best thing is that she knows that if she hits me I hit back. The Chicago way, as they say. Oh, not directly at her, as she is finding out, but sending things to her husband, etc.

Here is an interesting update

Here is an interesting update from my DH on the Twit situation. I guess she has been crying to him that she is misunderstood, etc. DH didn't say much about that conversation but he did say this to me: Twit has a short fuse and always has. He is not going to get involved in trying to fix anything for her (like it could be fixed?) He reaffirmed that he knows I tried in the past and it never worked out. He doesn't know why she says and does the things she does, and it is quite alright if I don't like her and never want to have anything to do with her!

A far cry from where we were over a year ago when I threw him out. Now, I just hope he remembers that when the Twit onslaught occurs again.

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Boom! Twit Errupted - Her Husband Told Her To Stop the Nonsense!