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Teacher Meet and Greet

starfish1012's picture

Submitted by starfish1012 on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 2:44pm

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General Discussion

I recently looked on the website for my SS8's new school and saw they posted about a teacher meet and greet for the new school year. This is a public website and took very little skill to find.

DH and I have full custody. Is it our DUTY to share this info with BM, even though it is public information and she could find it just as easily as I did? I feel like I shouldn't have to mother her, too.

I was planning to have DH mention it much closer to the date just to see if she plans to go. Is this out of line? I really don't think we should have to go out of our way to share the info, as it is not something only we were given because DH is the CP. Right?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 2:47pm

Bm can find it on her own. You're raising her kid-you shouldn't have to raise her too.

hangingbyathread6's picture

Submitted by hangingbyathread6 on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 3:04pm

It's not your job. I get this all the time with BM too. Bullshit. She has just as much access as I do. If it's public information I don't think you have to do the leg work of notifying her. If it is something that comes up that only you and DH would know about then I can understand having to notify her. Why did you look it up? Because you wanted to see who the teacher would be. If she was interested she'd make the same effort. Either way, not your job.

OrangeUGlad's picture

Submitted by OrangeUGlad on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 3:18pm

I would think you only have to send her information that has been sent to you... BUT, I would probably ask dh to email beforehand so we could get a feel for whether she'll be there.

We had an event last year that fell during our time and bm never mentioned. We assumed she wasn't coming because it was a kid thing not a family event, but boom there she was.

It was uncomfortable and I would have preferred knowing ahead that she was going to be there.

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 3:29pm

I dunno - why wouldn't you tell her? I mean, if it's to avoid conflict that's one thing. If not, I'd have DH tell her so you at least have the appearance of being the better people. Being nice, especially when it costs you nothing, is always the way to go.

MEL1297's picture

Submitted by MEL1297 on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 8:21pm

We are on the other side of this. BM has primary custody and they attend school 3 hours from where we live. The school is a little backwards lol and not much online as in a school calendar to check up on events. Even if the stuff was online, sometimes calendars change. When BM tells us of events, it's super helpful and in the end, really benefits the child so that way DH can show up too.

SMto2's picture

Submitted by SMto2 on Tue, 07/22/2014 - 8:42pm

When SSs were in middle school or lower, schools did not really have "websites," and they certainly did not keep them updated. BM would never let DH know what was going on. One of the most hurtful things ever was when DH found out after the fact that oldest SS had been inducted into the National Honor Society. The Order required BM to notify DH of events, and she ignored it. (Just like she ignored giving him copies of all report cards, opportunity to order school pics, etc.) Yes, DH should have taken her to court over it, but he did not want to rock the boat, so he just let her run all over him. Very sad. So glad those days are over.