Nice Job SD16
We had sd16 this past weekend. It was her birthday this week and even though she tried to run away last week, DH promised to take her to our friend's trailer for the weekend. I wasn't going and was almost giddy to have the house to myself.
I was hoping that DH would spend some quality time with her since he does so little with her when she's here that doesn't involve playing video games. Turns out she spent most of the weekend with nearby kids...but that's the least of my concerns right now...DH has been off work with an injury and has been moping around the house so it was good for him to get out.
We a call from BM last night...that's never good news...turns out that sd16 was caught stealing cigarettes out of her mom's purse. I suspected she was smoking months ago when DH (also a smoker) talked to her about not starting to smoke.(yet another 'do as i say and not as I do' parenting moment) She was WAY too adament that she would never do it. Yeah right!
DH told me after he got off the phone that he noticed some cigarettes missing from his pack on the weekend. He feels betrayed by her again. She begged him to let her walk around with her new 'friends' and it was only to go off and smoke.
The smoking is bad enough...she won't EVER smoke here. But now we get to add stealing to her long list of acomplishments.
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I would never condone smoking
I would never condone smoking or stealing...but dont most kids steal cigs from their parents? Its almost a given when a teenager starts to smoke that they will steal some from their parents.
She is 16. They will test the
She is 16. They will test the waters at that age. Just look at the ciga...as a warning. It could be worst...she could be giving you all a grandchild. Has her mom and dad talked about pride, self-respect and no sex? Not that it makes it right...if stole from a store, you all might be bailing her out of jail. Wish all good luck. Hopefully, she will learn from this.
First cigarette I smoked? -
First cigarette I smoked? - my mother's. Nasty godawful menthols!!!
First alcoholic drink I had - out of mom's cabinet.
First (attempt) at smoking pot? - my stepdad's stash in the fridge. He was dying of cancer, so it gave him some relief, but I never understood why they kept it in our fridge!
I sneaked money from my Mom's purse too.
I think these are wrong, but standard "wrong" teenager things. If SO and I ever co-habitate with teens in the house, all alcohol will be locked up and my purse is locked in our bedroom! No cigs or "other" smoking devices around that need to be hidden!
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. This took me back to being 11 :jawdrop: Yes I said 11. The first time I stole ciggs from my mom. All because the popular girl in my class said she would be my best friend if I did. SO I stole 2 packs, we called a friend went down behind the school and smoked both packs. I felt like shit but here I am today still smoking and explaining to my kids that I wish I never started. Im sure their experimentation days will come but yeah this sounds pretty normal. Not saying its ok for her to smoke but at least she didn't start at 11!
I lived in Europe as a child
I lived in Europe as a child (Army Brat) I started smoking at 11 as well. For the exact same reason... the popular girls. Although I did steal cigarettes from my dad, (who also kept them in the fridge) we could buy them ourselves as there was no smoking age. No drinking age either. My dad used to send me and my brothers to the bar with enough money to get him a six pack and us ice cream. And I am only 40 so this was in the 80's.
There is a book called "kick it, how to quit smoking in 5 days" it is out of print but you could probably get it. It teaches you to get sick from smoking. It is anti-smoking behavioral therapy.
I must be abnormal. My mother
I must be abnormal. My mother would send me to get cigs all the time (back when you just had to write a note). She left her purse around all the time. I never even tried one until I was in college. Didn't like 'em.
While I agree that this is
While I agree that this is normal behaviour this is just the latest in a long line of issues we're having with her. Smoking is bad enough. It's the stealing I have an issue with. In her mind it's 'just a cigarette' and I see her making the jump to 'just a chocolate bar' at the store. She has no sense of concequence at all.
EXACTLY! While the smoking
EXACTLY! While the smoking part of bad enough (no offense to smokers out here) it's the stealing that I can't get past. I told DH I will be taking my purse to our bedroom at night and putting my jewelry box in the spare room closet when she's here from now on. He totally agreed with me. With this kid, I'm willing to bet a paycheque that this is not the first time she's taken something and know if she thought she could get away with it she would not think twice about checking a wallet for cash or pocketing something small at a store.