I really just need to rant so I apologize if this is a disorganized mess. But the truth is that I am so f***ing sick of hearing my SDs whine. If I hear, "ddddddaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyy!" one more time this summer, I am going to lose it. Today, I finally had enough. I turned to SD10 and said, "SD10, you are 10 years old. Stop whining. You whine more than BD2." I actually feel bad for saying that, but I just lost my temper. This girl has done nothing but whine and throw a fit the entire time she has been here. At home, their mom just lets them do whatever they want so she doesn't have to bother with them. And SD10 thinks she is in charge here. I will give DH props. He punishes her and puts her in line. He also doesn't back down when she is being stubborn. I know that is hard for him because he used to be a Disney dad. But, he still lets them get away with WAY more than he should. An example. We sat down to dinner last night. He made their plates and handed them to each girl. He gets his plate. And, SD10 says, "dddddaaaadddddyyy, I need a fork." To which I replied, "Go and get one." Then DH sits down and both girls tell him that they need a roll with butter. So he gets up and gets them one. Then he sits back down and SD10 tells, not asks, but orders him to go and get her some tea. He started to get up and I told him to sit down. I told SD10 she could get her own tea. She can reach the cups and her arms aren't broken. Throughout the entire meal, she whined about not wanting to eat. I was so disgusted that I came upstairs as soon as dinner was over. DH followed and asked me what is wrong. I told him that I didn't think he should let his kids treat him like their servant.

He agreed. But you know, I was sitting up here last night. And I realized something. I don't thinK I ever want them to live here full-time. I know that is DH's dream. And, I know that we probably should fight for custody because of some very bad things at BM's house. We have been talking about it and trying to raise the money. But, I really think if they move here that DH and I might not make it. I just don't know if I can deal with it. They are 10 and 8. I really don't know if the damage BM has inflicted can be undone. And, I feel like a visitor in my own home. I am actually counting down the days until I get my house back. I know that makes me sound like an awful person. But, this is the first time that I have spent time with them that is really difficult. It's like the behavior has gone completely downhill. I just don't know.