Don't know what to ask for or expect.
This is kind of a long ongoing story so I will try to make it as brief as possible. DH and I have a blended family, his, mine, and ours... However I have raised "his" for the entire 7 years we have been together, so as far as I am concerned I may not have given birth but they are mine as well. Anyway BM has not been in the picture at all during this time due to her addictions and criminal behavior, she has had virtually no relationship or contact with them since they were very small. She is now out in society once again, we will see how long it lasts in the past 6 years her longest time out was just a few months. Anyway if she makes the effort to take us to court for some kind of visitation/custody what might her chances be and should we ask for anything in particular? I would not care for her to be a part of their lives she is their BM after all, however I think she should really be forced to prove some things first. No child deserves to be dragged through the train wreck of a parents life, because that parent can't or won't get it together.
They'll award her some
They'll award her some visitation. They will probably start slow and increase it and it will eventually become overnights - assuming she behaves and follows through.
I'd definitely ask for supervised visits to begin with at least.
I agree with the above, if
I agree with the above, if she does go taking you to court for visitation then you want to push for supervisory visitation to begin with, raise concerns over her track record, then after and only after a period of which visitation had no issues and other proof remains clean (drug tests) and take it from there.
I think so long as you appear willing to work together in order to allow the other parent to build a relationship then you are generally given more leeway by the court than if you are the person saying no to all.
My guess would be she will
My guess would be she will get a small amount of supervised visitation to start and if that goes well it will titrate up from there over time.
Do you think if we ask for a
Do you think if we ask for a reunification plan, such as phone calls and letters for the first six months or so. Then working up to supervised visitation for 6 months, during which time she is drug tested and proven to be clean as well as is able to prove that she can provide stability for them during her shared parenting time. Is this possibly something the judge would find feasible? We have never been through this before, at this point she may have given birth to these kids but she is a virtual stranger. They don't talk to her, about her, of her, it's as if she doesn't exist to them. I just don't want it to be traumatic to them.
I think that a 6 month
I think that a 6 month reunification plan is way to long. I'd say a two week plan maybe. Courts want the parents involved and give them the benefit of the doubt - especially if they Are improving and making efforts.
Sadly our system defaults to
Sadly our system defaults to including parents in the lives of kids even if the parent is a toxic, criminal, POS. Odd but that is what the system defaults to.
If courts actually focused on the best interests of the kids then many would never be exposed to one or more of their useless parents. As it should be IMHO.
I just can't imagine that any
I just can't imagine that any judge would say, you haven't seen your children in years but hey give it two weeks and everything will be fine. Six months may seem long but she has not had six months sobriety in 7 years, shouldn't that be a factor? I know that a judge would rather have both parents involved, I just hope that it can be done in the easiest way possible for the children.