Should skids be equal priority as bio kid?!
DH and I just got into an argument because I said BS is my priority. DH is upset because he feels all kids should have equal priority for me. After 4 years, this is shocking to him and he is now questioning our relationship. Wtf? Am I wrong?
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" You should love my Daughter
" You should love my Daughter because she is mine"
DH tried this crap on me. I reminded him that there was NOTHING in our wedding vows that said Daizy shall love, honor and cherish DH AND everyone of his family members, friends, acquaintances and pets. Nope. Just because you are married to someone does not mean you immediately LOVE their kids, MIL etc.
Geesh, this is like the dumbest comment ever.
You mean, you do not love
You mean, you do not love your DH's 3rd cousin by marriage, once removed, like your own family? Absurd!
I can't imagine why on earth
I can't imagine why on earth skids would be any kind of priority for ME. DH and BM sure, but not me.
In my house, skids AREN'T
In my house, skids AREN'T even a priority for BM and DH so not sure why in the hell anyone with half a brain cell would think that they would be a priority for ME?? :?
My two bio kids are my
My two bio kids are my priority. Can't help it. Its just natural.
To answer you: only in
To answer you: only in Bioparent fantasy land. The phrase "no one loves your kids like you" is true.
This is not just an issue for
This is not just an issue for husbands. I'm a stepfather, and I can tell you I've had this argument with my DW 100 times about my SD. Sorry, my bio child is my priority.
To DH all his kids are a
To DH all his kids are a priority. But what he doesn't get is that only one of them is yours. He needs to get that straightened out in his head. Your right, your bio is your priority.
we are in a different
we are in a different situation where our kids only have us, there are no other bio parents involved. I love my ss, but not in the same way that I love my biokids. I try hard to treat them equally and not make my ss feel differently or left out, but get no credit from my DH for my efforts. But let me do something as buy a pack of gum for my bio son, because he is the only one at the store with me (because SS does not want to go anywhere with me) there will be hell to pay. Forget the fact that I planned and paid for SS's birthday party, bought all of his school supplies, redid his bedroom, all of that becomes null and void over a pack of gum. At the same time, my DH does not play by the same rules he expects me to play by. He thinks nothing of taking SS shopping and buying new clothes, games,shoes, etc, never offering to get anything for my bio kids.
Being a step parent is definitely a thankless job!
"Yet another way to really
"Yet another way to really eff up your own kid."
I'd say it is also yet another way to eff up your own marriage, too!
" If a man marries a woman
" If a man marries a woman with that intent then he is a pathetic liar and a loser."
***Absolutely!!**, and, I often wonder if this is the case in a lot of these bad situations that we hear about on here.
Wait till you have grandkids
Wait till you have grandkids is gets worse. Dh has 2 grandkids. They wouldn't get bday or Christmas gifts if it wasn't for me. I don't feel the least bit guilty for doing extra for my bio grands. I do feel a little sorry for ysd's child. Ysd's mom died when she was 14. However, over the years ysd has caused so much hurt with no apology ever. I don't do anything extra for him either.
I think that people who have
I think that people who have these hangups should not get into serious relationships.
It is unrealistic, and although it can and does happen, a lot of people do not consider others' children to be an equal priority as their own.
If this hadn't even occurred to your DH until you said something, you must be treating his kids pretty good so what's his problem?
What's REALLY funny is that
What's REALLY funny is that DH expects me to treat skids "as my own" yet when I asked him "Well, do you think you treat my bios as your own?" and he said no. HA!
So you EXPECT me to treat yours as my own yet you are aware that you don't do that. REALLY DH!?! And I don't expect it from him; my kids have a dad. But I found it quite ironic.
And we see skids once a year sometimes every other year so how on earth do you expect me to feel "THE SAME" towards them as my bios?