SD and the teen tude!
So my dear fulltime resident SD12 has suddenly started having a HORRID attitude with almost EVERY time she speaks to me. She is turning 13 in a few weeks. And after a relatively smooth last year she is now arguing and back talking to me with every breath. Like even ridiculous things. Her dad really does try to help but he is a restaurant manager and gone 60+ hours a week.
WHAT THE F DO I DO?!
I have taken privileges away. I have literally walked away until she wants to come to me respectfully. And yeah I admit I've screamed and argued back. The worst part is my DD3 has started acting the same way to me. Today I felt like I was going to lose it. She thought it would be funny to go screaming bloody murder running through the house and then sat there and yelled and told me She didn't do it. Like, what? I just watched you. Ugh, help me Steps and parents of teens!!!
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What do you do? The more
What do you do? The more important question is what does your DH do? What does he do when she is rude to you (or anyone, for that matter)? He needs to take her phone/ipod away and lock it away for a few days, and she doesn't get it back until she's proven she can be respectful. He needs to make her feel the consequences of her actions. Since he's so busy at work that means she will have to miss out on going to activities with friends, extracurriculars, etc. And you can make her feel the consequences of her behavior by disengaging. Don't do her laundry. Don't cook for her. Don't give her rides. If she's ticked off that she can't go to something she cares about, let her get blow off steam in her room.
Anon. DONE. He hasn't given
Anon. DONE. He hasn't given back her tablet yet. He yells. She has been in permanent trouble lately. He has threatened not to get her anything or do anything for her birthday. And he is so serious. He has pretty much made her do any and every chore possible, my bathrooms are SO CLEAN.
I could try some selective disengaging. Anything she is capable of doing herself.
No involvement there. There
No involvement there. There is a no contact order in place. This behavior came from there though. They would act like this to each other and it escalated to a fist fight.
Seriously... I am dealing
Seriously... I am dealing with THE EXACT SAME ISSUE!!!!!!
I was told off the other day.. called every name in the book.. made out to be the bad guy all over her failure to turn in any homework and she almost failed a class so she is signed up for summer school (but its my fault)
She runs off to mommy and its "poor baby".. then when she pulls her crying hysterically here at home daddy buys into the whole thing of how horrible her life is and she's becoming a young woman and doesn't know what shes saying and her hormones are just crazy and blah blah blah... meanwhile she under her breath calls me another name.
I want out of it all... she can stay at her moms and only be here when he is here but he just like your other half works 60+ hours per week so Im stuck playing Mary Poppins.
Her things get taken away and next day they are right back because there is zero consistency.. and my little ones are learning all this manipulation is an ok thing..
I don't know what to tell you advice wise since I cant seem to figure it out myself... but if you find the solution please share.
Mommyof6 your situation
Mommyof6 your situation sounds even worse! What a nightmare. At least I have daddy in my corner and if she ever called me a name I'd have to hold myself back from slapping her. Ugh. I will let you know if I find something that works.
My kids are 14 and 16. They
My kids are 14 and 16. They are my BIOS. The "trick"??
You do not fight every battle. For your own sanity. ESPECIALLY when this isn't your kid.
Now obviously, outright disrespect is not okay and as a parent I would hurt one of them for any swearing or name calling (apparently some parents allow this sort of thing).
But "attitude"? "Bad mood"? "Grumpy/crabby"?
Uhmmm...that's called being human. PLUS they have their crazy hormones to thank. My DH has a way of poking the bear, so-to-speak with DS14 is in a bad mood. I think it's silly and petty.
Me: Good morning
Him: grumble. grumble.
Me: ((shrug))
I could get in a pissy fit over BE RESPECTFUL AND SPEAK TO ME
But really? bleh.