Okay so I haven't been on in FOREVER. So a lil update and the new situation. I will try to keep it kinda short.
So with SD12 almost 13 last year in July BM won 50/50 in court. We got a POS judge who decided right off that we were wrong and poor wittle crying BM was a sad sad little victim and that judge was going to make us pay. She did not let my DH speak, present evidence, ANYTHING. We literally had a 3 in. binder of submitted documentation. The judge wouldn't even open in and decided BM needed another chance. Well, by Dec she hadn't taken SD to school in 3 months and gotten kicked out of her mothers house. SD was being kept from us and during that time apparently they were living in a car. BM found some drug house to which she took her 3 children to live and one of the drug dealers captured a video of her in a drunken rage beating the crap out of SD. Needless to say we have FULL custody and an order of protection and no contact firmly in place. SD12 is, well SD12. But now that we are parenting TOGETHER and without interference that situation is as good as I can ask for.
Now... With SS7 and SD5 it has been over a YEAR since we have seen them. She plays this game ALL the time. But this time is longer than ever before. Last year on mothers day we got the kids. I got to stay home with 4 children only one of them mine on my mothers day. Granted DH was working, still I was a bit bitter. BM decides to not pick up kids until a day late blah blah blah. The usual. So we make plans for the next visit. She is bringing them this day, to this place, on this time. She decides last minute that she is going to change all of the above. We both say "No, Im sorry we made plans to accommodate what you told us. Stick with that." She tells us well then you aren't getting them! So we make new plans and wouldn't you know it she changes those too. Well, have newbie drive 4 hours one way to come get them! We tell her no way. She then gets furious and you are supposed to have them right now anyways, what is stopping you from getting them, you are a POS, you do nothing, you don't give me enough money, you aren't seeing them again ever. This happens off and on all the time so we were just going to wait it out. Well, this time it seems she was serious. Apparently she has a new bf and they are living happily ever after off her CS.
So my question is, Does it make DH a POS if he stops fighting her and playing her game? She is never going to be happy. Nothing can be done through court. They won't even hear us here because she took them out of state more than 6 mos ago and her state isn't doing SH*T for us. He feels like crap about it but we really don't have $10,000 to retain a lawyer to get things moving. We tried for 4 years to play by her rules and nothing is/was ever good enough. If he ever defied her she withheld the kids.
Is he a bad guy for letting this go?
One of the lawyers we talked to literally told him to go pick his kids up from school and make her come take him to court... Yeah right, that's kinda crazy if you ask me.