The past weekend was a getaway weekend for DH and me. We planned it months ago (on a weekend when we didn’t have SSons) and even took Friday off of work to get an early start. We stayed at a lodge 5 hours away from where we live.

Our room was awesome: a whirlpool tub for 2, with a fireplace and a king size bed. DH had flowers and champagne waiting for us and even made reservations at a nice restaurant near the lodge. We had a great dinner and were settling in for the evening, just enjoying each others company. It started off so wonderfully…then BM called and everything turned sour.

BM was taking SS7 to the ER because he was complaining of a pain on his right side. SS7 didn’t have a fever or diarrhea and wasn’t vomiting but BM was sure he had appendicitis. DH ends the call with BM. And so began the great debate of should we stay or pack up and drive home.

He was totally upset; which I understand completely. His son was sick and he wasn’t there. But DH kept asking me what I thought we should do. I felt we should wait and see what the doctors say and then decide. Well this didn’t sit well with DH. He wanted to pack and go straight to the hospital.

So I told him I would do whatever he wanted, it was his decision. DH was going back and forth the rest of the night but not committing to leaving. I ended up watching reruns on TV and listening to DH sigh in frustration. BM called at about midnight. The ER was releasing SS7; x-rays showed no signs of appendicitis and SS7 said the pain was gone. DH tells BM to keep him posted and we go to bed relieved.

Saturday, DH’s cell rings at 9 in the morning, we were still in bed. It’s BM; SS7 is doubled over with pain on his right side at his basketball game. BM wants to know what she should do. DH jumps out of bed and he and BM decide to take a wait and see approach since SS7 still has no fever, vomiting or diarrhea.

DH hangs up with her, and immediately starts planning what we should do right now I.E. visiting shops and sightseeing, he wanted to get all the activities we had planned done incase we had to leave because of SS7 being sick.

It was such a let down. BM called DH 3 more times Saturday to give him SS7 updates.
Call #2 – SS7 is resting on the sofa.
Call #3 – The ER called and SS7 may have pre-appendicitis (?), but SS7 says he feels fine.
Call #4 – SS7 is vacuuming because BM is having a party (WTF?).

Basically SS7 was fine. BM was just enjoying the attention. By Saturday afternoon I got frazzled and told DH that BM is always in control whether we realize it or not. The constant calls were BM’s way of controlling our weekend (whether BM was doing it on purpose or subconsciously). DH snapped back at me, “What am I supposed to do he’s my son and I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t.”

I just kept to myself after our confrontation. DH did apologize to me a little while later. He confessed that he felt awful about the calls but didn’t want to say anything to BM for fear that she’d go off on him.

We made the best of the rest of the weekend. But it wasn’t relaxing.

I realize SSons health comes first and I don’t resent DH for wanting to be there for his sons. I just feel like BM’s calls were a black cloud following us every where during our weekend.

If you made it this far, THANKS! I realize this was really long.

~BettyRay