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Helpless

Mumx2's picture

I need help I have a 7 year old stepson whom I love very much. But as he gets older its starting to get harder. His mother is no longer in the picture there's a long story there but cut short she was unfit and more or less didn't care, she hasn't seen him since his 4 th birthday nor try's to contact us. Basically his grandmother brought him up while my partner worked and in saying that he was very spoilt. Being the only child at the time he got what ever he wanted and was never in the wrong. Since living with me for the last 3 years he is a changed boy as I have rules and boundaries I do not let him cross, I have a 3 year old myself and I don't treat them any different. Discipline is becoming a big thing between me and his father. When his father growls him he is silent but when I do he screams and crys and sulks. This is starting to really FUSTRATE me. His father and I always end up fighting while he walks around with a big smerc on his face and is happy when his father steps in. I love my partner but is it wrong of me to want some kind of acknowledgement?? I never say it but I'm not his mum and this isn't easy! I just feel like I can't talk to him about it cause I don't want him getting upset like I don't care about his son. I recommended counselling but he thinks its just my attitude. I'm really stuck as I don't want ether me or my step son resenting each other.

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Painter21's picture

I had a similar situation and trust me, if it's bad now when he's 7, when he hits the teen years multiply it by 100. What's worse is that DH does not support or understand you or even agree to counselling to make you feel better.
It is not wrong to want respect from your SS.
I recommend you disengage, unless you want to be increasingly walked over. Your can't parent children who don't listen to you and when DH doesn't back you up so you are fighting a losing a battle. Trust me, even if you have children of your own and treat them exactly the same, or even worse than you SS they will always perceive that you treat them better. Spoiled kids always want to be number one, centre of attention, having everything their way, and that means you come second at all times.
Your only other option is to save yourself years of heartache and walk now .