School Finances with skids and biological kids
I am due to give birth to my first child in August and DH and I are very excited. I've even started looking at private schools. I made mention of this to a friend and she made the comment that she didn't know how we would be able to afford private school/college for 3 kids (SD14, SS11, and our daughter). I told her that the skids don't attend private school because DH can't afford it since he doesn't get a dime from BM and raises them fulltime. So she asked how are we going to afford private school for our daughter and I stated we would be able to afford it because I would be contributing. She made a comment that it wouldn't be fair for our child to attend private school and not the skids.
Am I really expected to pay private school tuition for two children who are not mine? If I did that, I probably wouldn't have been able to afford to have our daughter? Will the skids be jealous?
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Comments
That's a pretty big age
That's a pretty big age difference. Once yours is in school one will have graduated and one will be in HS so the skids probably won't notice at all. Congratulations on the baby!
ETA: No, they aren't your financial responsibility.
I made the point about the
I made the point about the age difference to her and she asked why wasn't I contributing to tuition right now. I was actually shocked that someone felt this way. It got me to thinking that maybe the skids think that way too.
I wouldn't, but I also don't
I wouldn't, but I also don't have SS with me full time. SS is the responsibility of BM and DH, not mine. my Bio is the responsibility of DH and me. Its not my fault BM is a welfare queen, and I happen to have a good paying salary.
SS does have a little bit in savings from us for college, it will not be 100% paid for because his BM needs to pay as well. Bio will probably have a bigger account when he graduates, but I will be able to raise my kid they way I want to. Just because we have the option to pay for all of Bios college, he will be expected to get good grades and get scholarships.
The skids pretty much
The skids pretty much disowned BM almost two years ago and they only see her if she shows up at a relative's house for a major holiday. She calls and speaks to one of them once every couple of weeks and that's it. She refuses to pay child support and has managed to buy a house, new car, and a dog while we both pay for her share for the skids.
I pay half of all our household bills which have gone up since they started living with us full-time. DH pays for expenses that are specifically related to them. I am extremely generous with them during birthdays and Xmas. It is somewhat of combined stepfamily, but there is a line drawn as to what I am responsible for (discipline and financially). They go to him for mostly everything.
I think I would feel very bitter if I was paying thousands of dollars for tuition and meanwhile their mother is doing nothing. This may be my only child and I want her to have the best and I don't really like the idea of me having less for her because I am paying someone else's way. I guess it's selfish, but I didn't really think about it until I had the discussion with my friend.
DH applied for CS seven years
DH applied for CS seven years ago and has an order. She just doesn't pay it. Everytime they find her, she quits her job. Plus DH has never complained about my contribution to the household or the children. And I agree, she has the ability to pay for her children, but the only way she will is if they find her.
I think this is one of those
I think this is one of those subjects that really has no right or wrong answer if your intentions are in the right place. It depends on so many different factors including the actual child and their needs/ability to excel, cost, weather or not they want to attend, grades etc.
whatever the skids feel, I'll
whatever the skids feel, I'll help deal with.. but I will NEVER sacrifice my childs upbringing because of 2 other people kids.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This...^^^^^
Why don't you ask your friend
Why don't you ask your friend why she isn't contributing to your skids tuition, you know - since we are all paying for random ass kids to go to school.
This.
This.
LOL!!! Hilarious!
LOL!!! Hilarious!
Yeah...that is a point. But
Yeah...that is a point. But he can't afford it for his two children because BM won't contribute. By the time, our daughter is ready, SD should be almost 21 and hopefully somewhat self-sufficient and SS will be 17. Plus, I will contribute. I anticipate contributing more for our daughter than him for quite some time. He has two other children he needs to care for with no help from their mother. I'm already spending more on her nursery and all her baby items and am totally fine with it.
There is an 11 year age difference between me and my biological sister and my parents were in a better financial situation when she was in high school. They bought her her first car and (several other ones), paid money towards college, and she generally had more than I did at her age. It was just timing.