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If you're a mom would you voluntarily give up time with your child?

hopefulfamily's picture

I can't stop thinking about the fact that my stepdaughter's mom doesn't keep her visits. My husband has kept all but one visit in the last 4 years! He adores his daughter and wouldn't dream of voluntarily giving up time with her especially time that's in the parenting plan. I guess his ex doesn't feel the same.

Is there a reasonable reason for a mom to not take advantage of time with her child? My husband would be so happy for his daughter if her mom wanted a visit. He would gladly make it happen. But she always finds an excuse not to. I think it's starting to weigh heavy on my stepdaughter. She doesn't talk about it but she has to know what's going on, right? Dad has a visit every single time, Mom never shows up.

hopefulfamily's picture

Me neither. Her mom was working 15 hours a week and now works ZERO. She just quit her job.

Disneyfan's picture

NCP do not have to exercise visitation. DF is NC and he has missed visitation with SDs9&6. He missed a weekend in January because we went away for my birthday. He will miss a weekend next month because we're going away to attend my son's college graduation. If he has to work during most of their visit, he leaves them with their mom.

Calypso1977's picture

i think they give it up in cases where they never really wanted the child to begin with OR the child is difficult to deal with and the parent cant handle them (which is of course the parents fault to begin with for not raising them right).

overworkedmom's picture

I am a little confused by this sentence: "Dad has a visit every single time, Mom never shows up."

Where does SD live?

And just to answer your question there is no way I would ever give up time with my kids.

hopefulfamily's picture

Her parents have 50/50 custody, every other week. So on weeks when she's with her mom, my husband has a visit. Every single week for years. Her mom doesn't ever keep her visit on our weeks.

krismk16's picture

Some people, men or women are not meant to be parents therefor it is very easy for them to disengage or even walk away. Sad but true.

Frustr8d1's picture

I totally get this post. I can't understand how in the world a mom would not exercise her visitation rights and I really don't know how a BM can just walk away. But, I guess it's hard to understand things that we would never do ourselves. Every single day, I'm completely perplexed at how our BM has not seen or talked to SD11 in 2 years! I could never do that. I could never be comfortable thinking that daddy is competent enough to take care of my child. I would want to know what is going on in my kid's life!

valmont's picture

DF had full custody of SS20 since SS was 12. She never came to visit. She was very vocal about making DF's life "a living Hell". The only person that she's hurt is her son. DF wasn't her first husband. She has 3 dtrs by the first. DF says that she always favored the girls and I can see that he is right. SS knows and it has caused many issues with him. It makes me want to cry for him, as I see him desperately wanting to be accepted by her, even though she only uses him as a tool to seek revenge on his father. I'm certain she is the type who only has children to trap men.

Orange County Ca's picture

I guess I'm still confused. It's a 50/50 physical custody split. So the kid(s) stay with Daddy for one week and Mommy for one week. I guess that during Daddy's week Mommy can see the kid on a school evening and take them to dinner or something? But she normally skips that whereas Daddy doesn't.

She probably thinks Daddy is a little compulsive if she gives it any thought at all. Everyone is different although I would be in the visiting category as opposed to skipping category under those circumstances.

I'm sure she considers that she's an adequate Mommy and I'd let it go at that.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

If, and only if it my ex (her dad, which would be DH in this case because we're still married but in the event we divorced) and my daughter wished to spend more time with each other, for no other reason than because they missed one another. I'm not so arrogant to believe I deserve the most time simply for being the mother. He is her father, and had an equal part in making her, and therefore has a right to equal time with her.