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I don't know "my place"

Redsonya's picture

I wasn't on Steptalk for a while (a solid year) because I was stepkid free. My divorce was final in July and things were good! I stupidly let my ex back for about six months because he had been sober. My conditions were that he see the skids outside of my home and that I have no involvement with that end of things. Oh yeah, and that he stay sober and pay his half of the bills.

Lets just say that as soon as he was back and I was enabling him by paying my mortgage on time so he didn't have to worry about making his rent by the 1st (he was paying me, but when he felt like it), he went right back to drinking so he is leaving for good May 1. I told him not to contact me in any way. We are through.

Anyways, I just have to vent about his brat - after BM punched the kid in the face for complaining about her 18 year old boyfriend (her daughter's friend that she grew up with), my ex called CPS and opened a case. After years of calling me a c##t, saying horrible things to me and about me in public forums, and just flat being a little jerk, ex's 14 year old spawn is enraged that he can't come to my home this weekend. Mind you, I did nothing but drive them around, do almost all the pickups and dropoffs, take them shopping and on vacations. I went wayyyyyy above and beyond and never will again. But if I am so horrible why the F would you want to come stay in my home? And then tell your dad that "I don't know my place in his relationship with his kids". I have NO place and don't want one. What he is pissed about is that I won't drive an hour each way anymore to pick him up because BM is a fat lazy pig and his dad doesn't have a drivers license, bring him to my nice home, pick up after him all weekend, buy him his favorite food, and let him treat my 5 year old like dirt while he camps on my couch for 48 hours watching inappropriate TV shows, eating and using filthy language to describe whatever adult he is currently mad at. And if I don't do that, then I don't know "my place" and I am keeping him from his dad. I told the ex that he could take a bus and bring his kid to a movie or borrow his friends cabin for the weekend, but like hell is that kid coming over here. And then I passed the ex some more packing boxes.

I guess the thing that blows me away the most is that when I was a kid, I had alot of family issues as well. But when I really felt like someone was a bad person or had done something really awful, I wanted nothing to do with them. I wouldn't accept help from them, I didn't ask for anything, and I would send gifts back unopened. These kids have picked up this attitude that comes straight from their BM. Its an "F you, now do me a favor" type of entitlement that I don't think is going to work well in the real world. I know I am out of it and it doesn't matter, just needed to vent. The whole "don't know my place" comment after all I have done for them made me want to punch something.

Newstep's picture

Entitlement is such an ugly thing. I see so many kids with this attitude and it makes me sick. What a little punk to say you don't know your place. You know your place very well and its away from those ingrates }:) I would pack up his dad's shit and have it on the front lawn for pickup what a loser!!!!!

Newstep's picture

Entitlement is such an ugly thing. I see so many kids with this attitude and it makes me sick. What a little punk to say you don't know your place. You know your place very well and its away from those ingrates }:) I would pack up his dad's shit and have it on the front lawn for pickup what a loser!!!!!

Redsonya's picture

No kidding - my one solace is that BM encouraged filthy language from this boy when it was used towards me. Now a year later, he thinks nothing of calling her the same names. She has threatened a few times to drop him off at my door, which they call "ex's house" even though they are fully aware that I bought this place before I even met thier dad and have paid for it myself. Its also my separate property in the divorce. I dare her.

Living the dream's picture

My sentiments to your selfish, entitled, soon-to-be-ex DH and his spawn:

Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

Redsonya's picture

lol! Yep - I am truly looking forward to it! My ex is very good looking and very charming which is how he kept getting another chance even with a raging alcohol problem and an asshole for every member of his family. You know you are done when you are excited to sleep alone indefinately, spend all your time with a 5 year old, have a couple girls weekends, and do some sewing and crafts. Got my yoga mat out, brought my horse up near my house, and truly enjoying getting all his knickknacks, clothes and crap out of my big beautiful house! Ahhhhhh........

Redsonya's picture

You are right - I have been assigned the role of handmaiden to BM and the skids. I am to pay for everything, provide trips for them, do all the driving for pickups and dropoffs, provide health insurance, and babysitting when BM wants to get laid. I am to keep my mouth closed when they treat my 5 year old badly, when BM tried to mark her territory on my DH (when we were married), and when they want to say horrible things about me or DH online in public forums, i am to keep quiet. Since I have a degree and great job, but BM doesn't want to work full-time, I am to provide any goodies to the skids she doesn't want to pay for. I am to take a backseat at DH's family gatherings, which BM still attends full time and act like a concubine.

I didn't put up with any of this and thats why they are so angry. Oh well, they can spend all their time with their lovely mother now. A mother who punched one of them last weekend, drinks and drives with them, smokes pot in the house, threatens to put them in a mental ward, and is trying to move her 18 year old boyfriend into the house. Have fun with that.

Orange County Ca's picture

Why are you letting him stay until the 1st? I guess he's not a bad guy just a drunk. Too bad he'll get off of it some day but I don't blame you for not waiting. (He may get off of it by dying - that's how some do it and usually by age 40 or so - dead or sober).

Unlike some animals who can birth a kid on the ground and expect it to run with the herd within a few minutes or a day at most we must nurture them for a couple of decades. Until they're taught (forced) to take care of themselves they have no reason to change their selfish ways. Since Daddy can't and Mommy won't the world will but will they be able to function in that world?

Well somebody has to dig the ditches.

Redsonya's picture

I don't think his kids are fit to dig ditches. And they aren't smart or hard working enough for McDonalds. :sick: