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BM using again, worried about skids during visitation...

lovehimhatehim's picture

BM has been in rehab twice in the last two years. She was required to go after overdosing both times. This past weekend she called to say her in-laws were kicking her out because they gave her a drug test and she failed. I know this is DH's situation to handle, but I am looking for advice on what he can do. I know he needs to contact CPS and report it, but this Friday she is supposed to pickup Skids for visitation. Can DH have an OTC drug test and require she take it before leaving with the skids? And if she refuses or fails, can he refuse visitation?

spittenfire's picture

He can not require her to take a drug test, and he should not refuse to let the kids go with her for visitation. He needs to call CPS and report it and tell them that he fears for the childrens safety. What kind of drugs is she on? That will also figure into how CPS handles it. But time is of the essence he needs to get CPS involved now.

spittenfire's picture

Of course he can and should deny visitation but I would warn to tread carefully since he is a father that would be denying visitation. That is why i recommed calling CPS and reporting her and that you have an immediate concern for the safety of the children. That way the "consequences" of denying visitation later should be minimal and show it was went about the proper way. I have seen cases where visitation was refused for what was very likely a valid saftey concern but because proper steps were not taken to address the safety of the children (ie CPS) that it was considered custodial interference and custody modified. Now the 2 examples i know of are in MO which is a pro BM state.

lovehimhatehim's picture

DH is worried skids are going to resent him if he calls CPS...I'm sure right now they would be angry at him, because she is still their mom and they want to believe she is well (they know about previous rehabs) but not hate him forever. I can't seem to get him to believe that. I know I could call CPS, but then isn't that his responsibility as their Dad. Oh, btw I recently decided to disengage...& this doesn't directly effect me, my bio's or my home.