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Stepson needs to grow up

angelbeth's picture

Both dh and I have had enough. Have been issues for years, will not bother with all that. In a summary
before grandson was born we found a cheap house and bought it for them as rent to buy per say. Did it all legal, we were to be the bank as they had bad credit. In august, they decided, that moving to the subsidized apt would be better. They had to have an extra bed room. They have two kids now. Mind you they could have slept in the living room. Rent was way below and we were only having them pay back less. Had they stayed we would have given them he house sooner, if they paid on time etc. He is only working about 29 hours and she does direct selling from home. We sold the house in October. We gave them some of the money for the repairs and current a future gifts. That way if they did what they did we would not loss much. We fixed it up went on the weekend to get it ready to sell it and took a loss. If they had paid all along would have broke even. Ge needed a security deposit and we told add it all up and determine if or what he needed to pay back. Mainly the security deposit, depending on what we made. Dh called him right after the new year after we received the water refund and all refunds etc back. Ask about the security deposit and if he could pay us an amount back. He gave an attitude and said what about paying me for working on the the house and just went off. Dh said I am hanging up, I did a lot for you with the house etc and I will put up with this. Wife sent me message right after on facebook. I told her I have had it and will not play peace maker anymore. That how he acted was uncalled for. well to make a long story short. They are making excuses when we call to see the kids. I have had it, Neither one of us are bad people. So we have decided to be with the other grand kids that are there for us. I am hurt but we can not force ourselves on them. They have never come here for Easter etc. Well they went to all the other grand parents. And the nasty Di-l, posted pictures on face book and named every grandparent, that they got Easter things from. She is a drama queen and I dh will not call again. It is so hard to disengage from the grandkids, but we do not have a choice.

Orange County Ca's picture

Yes block them entirely so they can't access your FB if any and stop visiting theirs. Not one peek. Promise me.

These ingrate kids don't feel they owe you anything because the taxpayers are willing to subsidize them to a better tune. You've done right by them, more than right but maybe you can afford it better than I, and got kicked in the teeth for your efforts.

If you will do this I can guarantee you that in time they will come around and be chastised to boot: Do not contact them in any way - nothing. No cards, no calls, no emails - nothing. If you receive what seems to be a message from a mutual friend or relative such as "DIL asked about you" then respond with acknowledgement "Oh that's nice" and drop the subject. Absolutely nothing goes back to them.

One day they're reach out directly to you by phone or email - it may be a week it may be a year(s) but they'll be ready to treat you differently because they will have found out that they have zero control over your lives. This current spat of non-contact is nothing more than a power play to teach you a lesson and if you turn it right back on them it'll fail.

angelbeth's picture

Thank you everyone. I so agree with you Oc just need the guts to do it.l I will start tomorrow and not even go near them or look at what they post on facebook he does not post, I can hide them and they will not even know it and I will let the rest of my family know. They will honer my wishes and will not even talk about them, I am sure they will even say what took you so long lol.
That I am not listening to what they say or do not care. We did way to much to be treated like this. The grandkids will be fine with out us. The said things is grandson has autsism he is only 4 but, I am sure he will be fine. Thank you Oc .