Had it out with DH Saturday Night
I had a drink (or tw0) and was feeling very brave so I told him ALL the things that have been bothering me:
1) I feel VERY taken advantage of - I provide for our family, he stays home with the baby, yet I'm the one managing the entire house, doing the cleaning, cooking, shopping, bills. All he does is sit on the couch with the baby all day - he doesn't even take her places - not even on walks. I have to insist that he mows the lawn when it is a foot long. WTH?
2) I have NEVER in my life experienced so much drama in my life - whether it is his ill behaved son, dealing with a BM who we had to get a restraining order against, attending court, dealing with his mom, dad and sisters and all their drama and cattyness - It's ridiculous.
3) He needs to do better. Immediately.
So right now, I'm in my bedroom office. He is in the living room. I think he may have done the dishes earlier while I was playing with the baby. Last I peeked my head out, he was sitting in a chair with the baby strapped to him playing a game on his phone and watching some dumb tv show.
.... guess he doesn't realize what "immediately" means after all.
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It's weird. Because he gets
It's weird. Because he gets it. He's greatfull. He's sorry.
But man, he's freakin' lazy.
I went out and asked him what his plan for the day is and he said, "whatever you want me to do".
He literally needs/wants me to tell him what to do each day.
OMG, you are the other woman
OMG, you are the other woman LOL.
I swear my DSO is the same unless someone wants to ride 4 wheelers. Sits on his ass in the recliner for hours on end and waits for me to tell him what to do or he is tired. He sure is never too tired to ride for hours and hours though.
LOL. He's willing and able.
LOL. He's willing and able. He's just not that organized or proactive.
Right now he's taking a load of donations over to the local thrift store after I asked him if he'd be doing that today.
Even though I was going to do it myself this weekend, he told me he'd do it during the week, and then he just "forgets" about it.
I think a calendar would be helpful for him with one extra House Chore to do each day and one extra Baby Outing for them to do each day.
YES! Both my ex and my DH hid
YES! Both my ex and my DH hid certain traits from me. I specifically remember telling my ex after we were newly married, "you tricked me" - can't remember what it was about but remember that I felt tricked about one of his habits/traits/ etc.
And with DH, I suppose it was my fault. His house was extremely messy but he'd tell me that it was just difficult for him to do everything being a single dad, working construction all day, then coming home to help SS with homework and make dinner.
But he talked a big game. I complained to him about an ex boyfriend that I had and how the exBF told me he didn't/wouldn't do yard work because his mom made him pull weeds when he was young and it traumatized him. We both laughed about what a crumudgeon that guy was and DH said, "he complained about that? you were a bitch because you wanted him to do yard work?"
LOL - jokes on me!
DH would even say things like, "oh, my house with BM, I fixed it up so nice, I kept the lawn so nice, I this.. I that...it's just been really hard on me being single for 8 years"
... my fault. I should have recognized what I was walking in to.
^^^"Both my ex and my DH hid
^^^"Both my ex and my DH hid certain traits from me."^^^^
My DH and I had this very discussion this past week. That how he acted with me when we were dating was a sham. It's so disheartening!!
i think the calendar is a
i think the calendar is a fantastic idea!!!!
Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri
sweep vacc dust laundry laundry
park dr's walk park petstore
dishes-->------->-------->--------->------
that's be clean up after yourself and baby dishes, one minor chore daily that wont take much time, and one outing with the baby. even with that, he'd STILL have 6+ hrs to sit his ass on the couch!!!!
ETA- i threw the petstore in there, it's wonderful if u dont have easy access to a zoo or nature museum, even babies - they can look at the fish and birds and other assorted creatures.
Oh, I like the Pet store
Oh, I like the Pet store idea. He also hates spending money, so the more free things I come up for him to do - especially in doors so he can't say he can't take the baby outside because it's too cold. (LOL, we live in CA where it is about 60 degrees lately).
Sounds funny because we do
Sounds funny because we do the same thing for the kids
But he DID the
But he DID the DISHES!?!?!!!!!!! Didn't you give him his award for that?!? (/sarcasm)