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I regret my life

mitchel3's picture

Submitted by mitchel3 on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 8:03pm

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

It was a mistake marrying my husband. Not because of him. He is great. Its his kids, sans our daughter. I wish I could just take my son and our daughter and leave. I cannot stand my youngest stepson. My older stepson is, yes, a moron and my teenage stepdaughter is thinking like a teenager which has its own level of issues but most importantly, I can see she is going to turn into her mother. That is not a compliment. My son no longer wants me to be married and wants us to leave. He is 8 1/2. I feel bad but I don't know what to do. My husband is a SAHD and he goes tocollege online while he cares for our 2 yesr old daughter. If I leave, he loses custody of his kids because he cannot support them on his own at this time. It is so frustrating being here. I hate my life.

usedup1's picture

Submitted by usedup1 on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 8:51pm

Children are like sponges. They soak in everything! They see things sometimes we dont! This is exactly why this forum is popular.
Stepkids are entitled drama seekers, knowing exactly how to push your buttons!
Your own son is telling you something! Listen to him...
he knows your unhappy, and that in itself is damaging!

If anything, you dont want your own son to pick up on the behaviors of the stepkids! You may find so much peace by not participating and leaving the situation. Coming to a realization wether your someone's object or a human being with wants and needs of your own?

Listen to your son..

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 9:35pm

If your husband can't support his kids, he shouldn't have them. The man has FOUR kids. Not working shouldn't be an option.

Your son is unhappy in your home. You're unhappy in your home. It's time to take action.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 9:54pm

What does the future hold? One kid is a teenager so at maximum you've got 5 years with her and the step-kids following I presume is a year or two behind. Your husband (a really great guy) is trying to better himself and you didn't complain about his choice of study so presumably he'll be able to make better money when he graduates. (Although a on-line diploma is not worth what a "real" college issues it may get him in the front door where he can prove himself. Or not).

You say your kid no longer wants etc. By that I presume at one time he did want you two married. What changed? Like someone else above speculated is he being made to clean his room?

What's the trade off here? Lets say 10 years maximum with kids you don't like but who seems to be acting normally for their age and IQ's. Traded against the rest of your life, after they leave, with a great guy. You have to make a decision.

Make one of those two sided lists, you know, list all the pluses on one side and minuses on the other. Rate each entry from one to 10. He's a great guy +10. Step kids -10. list em all out and don't do it in 5 minutes. Take a week and think about the list. Then add up the numbers and see which way it goes.

Here's a link to disengaging - I think it will help a lot if you realize that you don't have to get emotionally involved with these kids. Let Daddy and them do their own thing whilst you and son do yours.

http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:51pm

Nah, it IS for anyname. The newbie has commented thusly on a few posts now regarding her.... Not sure why though *shrugs*

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:50pm

I have been noticing the comments to you today honey, and am SMH wondering WTF you have done to the good newbie to have pissed her off so much. LOL

(that said, you did misread the OP Wink ) And you know I love you.

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:46am

Wow

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:57am

Well Marin and other believe every hateful thing this poster said should have been directed at me. That is hateful too.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 7:53pm

No, we don't believe that it should have been directed at anyone -

However.

YOU are a vehement supporter of SD's (skids in general) you ARE a step child and you tell us often,

ANYNAME on the other hand I have never ever seen post comments relating to being a step child, defending a step child etc

So, the comments that the poster was making accusing Anyname of being a step child would make more sense being addressed to you who is open about it - does that make sense?

Either way, she was rude and wrong, and I flagged them too. didn't like it addressed to Anyname, wouldn't have liked it anymore addressed to you Generic - just that you are a step child and anyname has never that I have seen stood in support against the crowd as you often do. No harm or insult meant.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:23am

I can be a reference for Echo.

She is an excellent stalker. Besides following me around, she keeps leaving bacon chocolate chip cookies around to keep me on my toes.

Happydays22's picture

Submitted by Happydays22 on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 11:55pm

I'm new here and all but this is sounding a little too much like something the bm to my skids would say or do to me.... Just an outsiders thoughts.......

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:01am

Hi Happydays, welcome Smile

Don't worry, we don't often play gang up on the newbies but this one is being a tad OTT in attacking a regular member, no-one can really see why though....

So, stick around, sorry you are in step-hell too. But hey, at least you have found a place to vent and know that you are not alone!

Happydays22's picture

Submitted by Happydays22 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:07am

Thank you!! I could use all the help and spiced drinks life can give... It is really nice to see I'm not the only one going through this stuff... Worst part is that now I'm wondering if my bkids do this stuff to their sm.... HA!!!!

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:12am

I threatened mine with painful torture (me singing at their school assembly) if they ever put a foot wrong with their SM LOL

Not really, but we have talked about it and they know that I would be very disappointed in them if they did. And they know that she is a good person who does love them and does her best for them, and that we have expectations for how they will treat people.

Happydays22's picture

Submitted by Happydays22 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:20am

I've done that also, but my 15daughter came home this weekend and told me how every time she sat next to her dad sm asked him to sit next to her. At one point even sat on him....( she took a pic of it she was so taken back by it).... So I'm a little worried... Lol... But not that much sm can be a little out there at times... Sorry for hijacking the conversation...

usedup1's picture

Submitted by usedup1 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:06am

Well... is there a lurker using the same name? If so, will the REAL anyname
please stand up? If this is true, than I apologize to the REAL anyname.
If there isnt a lurker, and this is how you comment on posts than you shouldn't be a parent let alone a step parent!
you dont seem to make any sense on any of your comments. Can you NOT read? Or do you just talk and spit profanity!
Grow up.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:22am

Ummmmmm usedup1??? Didja notice your own profanity and anger issues? Seriously....take a chill pill. Newbies should play nice and get to know people, not attack them. Oh.....and we do bite if you piss us off.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:28am

I can't figure it out either. I'm assuming someone was mixing her Drano with her white wine.

I haven't seen anything offensive come from anyname, and if she misinterprets, she usually is quick to correct herself.

Problem is one sided.......and probably nuttier than a squirrel turd.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:40am

Honey, that would be ok, but this isn't the only thread she has attacked you on. Sorry.

Not sure - I had a newbie attack me yesterday (told me not to use the C U N T word - I was quoting BM at the time to be fair to myself - and called me MISSY - LMAO - yes grandma!)

usedup1's picture

Submitted by usedup1 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:32am

Here is comments posted by anyname who is a regular, I am told on this forum! These comments were only posted by anyname to what you regulars call " newbies" didnt know this was some sort of sorority hazing event? But here is what anyname has said to various posts just today!

Call her when your having a hot orgasm, or I will call you when im having one".
This tells me anyname is male as I suspected.
Let the stepkids pay you to babysit..
this tells me anyname is in his 20's to early 30's.
"
"Why not just blow me honey"
Again male

Referring to a SM disgusted at her stepdaughters relentless phone calls..
"Can you hear the click when he answers the phone"
Again a juvenile and not very bright

And referring to an 8 year old son.
"Tell him to STUD ..
angry little boy isnt he..

Now if this is some joke or nobody has noticed this con, please look more closely!

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:38am

PMSL - why does having a hot orgasm make her a male???? I pity you. I have them all the time with my MAN - and I assure you I am a woman.

Grow up.

You cannot just join a forum and attack people for your ridiculous suppositions.

And stalker much?

Oh, and you could take half a dozen random comments from different threads from the majority of posters here and throw them together like that and it would sound cray cray - don't mean it is, just means you are selectively editing my love.

StepKat's picture

Submitted by StepKat on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 11:01am

usedup1, all you're doing is quoting some lines without any context to what anyname was talking about. That shows me that you are purposely nit picking her comments to fit what you are assuming of her. Provide the link to the thread that you picked these comments from instead of just copying and pasting what ever the hell you like and fits your narrative.

usedup1's picture

Submitted by usedup1 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 12:58am

If you would have read the posts by anyname im sure you would feel different. I wish they weren't deleted so you could then form your opinion.
anyname is obviously playing games. Maybe doesn't like newbies? Kind of like a stepchild? Unbelievable that you can form opinions and be quick to judge without seeing both sides!
There would be no reason to make this up! And yes, what I consider vulgar was any names sexual comments NOT shit, crap or what I said. Even tho I should have refrained from lowering myself to any names level.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 1:41am

Used, I don't often agree with Any, but I think you're way out of line here.

When I firsted joined ST a few years ago, a regular accused me of being an unemployed 30 year old, male posting from my mommy's basement. I've worked since I was 15. I was 42 when I found this site. I live above ground in my own apartment. The last time I checked I was all woman.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Wed, 04/02/2014 - 10:40am

Okay....that's it. You're either anyname's BM or one of her skids.

Either way you're a s**t stirring psychopath and I've had enough of you.

derb84123's picture

Submitted by derb84123 on Fri, 04/04/2014 - 10:26am

LOL I feel bad for OP---- Mitchel- I am sorry you are going through this! But I do agree with the first few posts- dont let your 8yo dictate how you react to this. I think you should have a serious talk with DH about what you are feeling. He may need to step it up a bit for you to be happy!