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DH wants me to call YSD!

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 4:24pm

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Adult Stepchildren

So I posted a few weeks back about YSD being pregnant. This is the one I basically have ZERO relationship with and never have.

DH picked me up from the airport yesterday as I was away for a week and within 5 minutes said, "so, you haven't called YSD to congratulate her yet, Maybe you should do that". I didn't really respond as I didn't want to start a fight right away, but it I was tired from traveling all day and this is what he decides to talk about? And how did he know I didn't call her anyway? I guess the SD's and DH are discussing me again!!!!!

I am so irritated by him and just don't know how to respond to him. If I tell him the truth he would freak out; like why would i congratulate someone who gets themselves pregnant with no means to support themselves let alone a baby. Welfare cheque will be going up - sheesh.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 4:38pm

Maybe you should do that

Maybe he should have taught her about birth control.

Seriously, besides the fact that it's not something to be congratulated on, you have no relationship with her, why would you call her now? That makes zero sense and would be a really phoney thing to do.

Let them discuss you if they have nothing better to do, while you stay true to yourself.

Now, what you should say to your husband, I don't know. I guess you could be honest and say, "I really don't feel it's something to congratulate her for," and if he pushes it, just tell him the truth about why.

Why does HE feel she should be congratulated, that's what I want to know. My husband certainly didn't congratulate my SD when she got pregnant and I would have been quite annoyed if he had and then told me I should. Um, no thanks, I'll pass.

Marie Fleming's picture

Submitted by Marie Fleming on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 6:43pm

I would say sure, I will call her and tell her she better start thinking quickly on how to support her child, because no way in hell am I going to help support her.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 10:01pm

Just say, "Hmmm" and leave it at that. You were gone a whole week and he can't wait to bring it up? If he knows you have no relationship with SD, and have no desire to that's the only answer he deserves.

peacemaker's picture

Submitted by peacemaker on Wed, 03/26/2014 - 3:01am

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20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Mon, 03/24/2014 - 5:21am

I asked DH last night how he knew I didn't call YSD. HE said because you haven't told me you DID call her. I said I don't believe you. He was visiting OSD the day I left for my trip after dropping me off at the airport so I am 99.9% sure she brought it up. She is the one always trying to cause trouble and constantly criticizes me to DH.

Then he back pedaled and said well YSD didn't mention it.

I wouldn't expect her to mention it , she chose not to have a relationship with me so she would not expect anything from me. it is still OSD trying to stir the pot.

He let it go after I asked my question.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Mon, 03/24/2014 - 1:13pm

Good for you!!! It appears your DH is trying to get a rise out of you again. HE is also stirring the pot - and enjoying it. I can't believe you were gone a week and he can't wait five minutes to bring up something that he must know is not a pleasant subject for you. It's sadistic. He needs therapy, which he will never go for OR he needs to experience a bit of his own medicine. My DH used to play little passive aggressive games with me until he found out two can play the game.