Body Hygeine
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Does one ever stop insisting that a kid wash his body or certain parts daily? Situation: SS12 often asks if he needs to shower. we say yes. If he puts off showering at night, because he promises he will do so in the AM and then does not do so, do we insist? I think yes, as he promised to do something. He does not wash his face, pits, etc. May not even brush his teeth. At what age do we let him make his own choices about it? Let him now until he stinks and is not pleasant to be around? This kid does not do any chores, just plays on his ipad or has his dad take him places. Thanks (I have one SS and am bio free)
I never let it go - but my
I never let it go - but my husband was the one who had to tell ss15 (I am the one who tells bs14) - cleanliness isn't "up to" them, it is an expected part of life, like putting clothes on before you leave the house.
We solved this over, probably a 12 month period, when they were between 11 and 12 years of age. We were very firm that we never leave the house if we aren't "brushed up" - which in our house means teeth brushed, hair brushed, face washed. Don't you dare try to leave the house without having done these things. We made it a punishable offense, and it didn't take many times of losing a privilege for them to just go get themselves cleaned before they leave the house. Now, it is never an issue any longer. They are both conscious of how they appear before they leave the house, and will always make sure that they have cleaned themselves first.
It can be done! But you need to stand very firm. And in my opinion, totally worth it.
He's a child and they need
He's a child and they need guidance and that's what Dad is for and you too if you wish.
5 weeks? You are not
5 weeks? You are not serious. That is soooo gross. He had to be itchy?!?!?! Couldn't he smell himself? :sick:
I get it. Not my kids not my
I get it. Not my kids not my problem. But when they are stinkin' up the joint, they are society's problem! It's not YOUR job to make them take pride in their appearance or their presentation. But how can you stand the stink? Not your kids, but it's still your nose.
Never let it go. When I was
Never let it go. When I was in high school at a military boarding school we dealt with this issue by having shower parties for the stinky folks.
We were required to change uniforms every other day. It was a PITA due to setting up your shirt with starched pressed creases, polished brass and intricately placed ribbons/awards, etc..... Invariably every year the crop of new cadets would have a few that did not bathe regularly. They would be instructed to bathe daily just like everyone else. It very often required additional clarity to get them to clean up.
In the middle of the night these folks would be wrapped in their sheets, dragged to the showers and cleaned with soap, shampoo, etc... If a second shower party was required for them to catch a clue the cleaning products would change to dishwashing soap and scrub brushes would be used. Very rarely was a third shower party required.
When my SS had an issue with bathing when he was 12-13 we would get on him about it. This had little effect if we did not force him to strip down and shower under direct supervision by either his mom or I. We got tired of the battle and did eventually haul him to the back yard and hosed him down on a rather chilly day. That got the point across and he did improve a bit. Not well enough though. Eventually we would not allow him to leave the car when we went out for a meal or to a public event if he reaked. What finally got through to him was kids at school teasing him about his BO problem.
Thank you all. Great points.
Thank you all. Great points. I also do agree that peer pressure is powerful and a natural consequence of not showering and he would be being made fun of...that is ok (maybe it would also stop his nose picking). If he stinks around us, guess we can then insist that he showers. It is really his dad's job to insist. (I am so tired of being the one with expectations) Echo, I also agree that not doing chores is likely what also really bothers me. That could be another post.... But, will put it here: I think it is DH's modeling and what he expects. Any "chores" he does now--clearing the table, bringing dishes to the sink--have been upon my insistence. The kid wants access to wifi for his ipad (we have a desk top with internet access), so he can play a certain game with friends. We have previously said no because he is on the thing almost the whole day and he broke rules about using it after bedtime. In addition, Husband did not enforce limited electronics time. I am the computer person in the home and for me to release the wifi password, the SS is going to have to start doing more. Not ok to sit on one's butt while others and especially me are working! I do think limited amount of wifi would be good to give him. The problem, DH will need to come up with rules and enforce them.... That normally falls to me. Of course, it shouldn't... I have become resentful.
My SD11 will shower at night
My SD11 will shower at night (if reminded)... However, she doesn't always scrub the top of her head. We've had to resort to "checking" her when she's done (by smelling the top of her head). A few times we've had to make her shower again. Smh