why are they so mean?
My stepdaughters are 18 and 23. I married their father 13 years ago. They have always been cold and rude unless they want something..or birthdays or holidays are approaching, then they appear and are friendly. Over the years I've grown tired of this behavior. I Thought they would grow out of it..but it seems like it's gotten worse. My husband knows they are rude and selfish girls but he doesn't seem tobe as irrirritated with it as me. The oldest one has alway been the rudest of the two.
Ive tried everything. ? Smothering them with kindess, trying to talk to them, let them know I care..but they are still rude. WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM? And why does it bother me so much?
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Yes, withdraw from them. You
Yes, withdraw from them. You don't need to be their friends. Pretend they are some cousins of his, or some random family members of his that you don't like. What would you do then?
Agree with notasm. My SS
Agree with notasm. My SS refuses to acknowledge I exist. He is jealous because he knows I outrank him and so he gets back at me in other passive aggressive ways. He's a loser and a jerk and he's 17 and will not change anytime soon.
I've done my best to return the favor and I barely acknowledge him unless the trash needs to be taken out. I do not cook for him I do nothing for him. I don't greet him and rarely talk to him.
It's still hard. I would like to refuse to allow SS to even come into my home after he moves out and is an adult unless he learns to be civil to me. But I fear that will be a losing battle.
But I don't have to be nice to him and after SS moves out I will strongly encourage SO to visit SS away from our home.
Maybe you could try something similar? They are adults and if they're outright rude and disrespectful I would definitely forbid them from entering my home until they can be at least civil. That's fair. But you have to be really strong and maybe have to take drastic measures to get your DH's attention and remind him of what life would be like without you. I realize this would be a difficult line to draw.