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Last Stand

MikeinSca's picture

Submitted by MikeinSca on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 9:18am

Well I talked it over with my wife and she blew up on me and said she is still going to her ex husbands grandfathers funeral with him and SD's. I told her she chose to divorce him and she has no business going with him. She said shes going to support him because he was a father to him. Then SD 11 steps in and tells me its none of my concern and dont tell her mom what to do. And this is the kid on Christmas looked me in the eye and said i didnt get you anything cause i ran out of money. And when her mother told her making a card if free she said i had no time. Ok i get it she doesnt like me. Will I be wrong if Tomorrow after its over if i ask her to leave? I cannot except this crap anymore

Comments

StepMomTaxi's picture

Submitted by StepMomTaxi on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 9:25am

I feel so horrible for the situation you're in. Do not let her or that snotty SK walk all over you and feel as though they have the upper hand.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 9:42am

This is the best advice. While you are laying it out for her, if the kid steps in again, I would also calmly tell her to leave the freaking room. A child has no business butting in on an adult conversation. Also, demand your child stays at home with you during this funeral.

Please be fully aware that when you give this ultimatum, even if she stays behind, she is going to harbor a lot of resentment toward you. You are totally right in this, don't get me wrong!!! But the kind of person she is, she is going to twist this around to be a victim and make you to be this controlling evil husband.... blah blah blah, it is horseshit but it is what she will say. Be strong. You seem to be a decent man who just wants a little respect from his wife and skids. You want your marriage to be a priority - and that is something you deserve!

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 9:53am

First off...kid should not have been present for this conversation.

Maybe try some marriage counseling. If she will not go for that then let her go live with her ex.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:24am

Ummm....SM1994, I think that it is great that you have that kind of relationship but in this case mike's DW has no boundaries in the relationship she has with her ex. They are still married (in heart) and Mikey here is the bank account. She has let her exH come between them and it is time for him to make a stand and (no offence mike) grow a pair and be the man of the house.

I personally don't care who the hell died on my exH's side of the family or BM's side- Neither me or my DH would be going to a funeral with the ex to support them. Showing up at the service is just one way to support her kids, she can do more for them by being open to talk about feelings and memories at home and in turn being supportive of her husband.

farting_glitter's picture

Submitted by farting_glitter on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:29am

bingo Overworkedmom!....couldnt have said it any better.... Wink

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Submitted by MarriedaBalless... on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:36am

You can say that again!

Yes, Mikey is nothing more than a walking ATM who is getting zero support, appreciation or respect.

Time to move on to greener pastures.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

Submitted by MarriedaBalless... on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:26am

Take her off of all your accounts today and start packing their shit up.

Call a lawyer and YOU be the first one to file for divorce. You will have the upper hand.

You need to get out of this toxic, hateful situation right now! Take your son with you!

Your wife sounds like a spoiled rotten, lazy, selfish, entitled, immature leech.

Free yourself! Save yourself and your son!

MikeinSca's picture

Submitted by MikeinSca on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:32am

When we married we both banked 2 different place so we have seperated accounts. My home was mine and she has nothing to do with that. I really honestly think she should support the girls on the passing. But her ex still thinks he controls his family and her which now i believe she favors him over me. Yeah its just a bad situation I need to free myself before i go crazy

HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:35am

I'm sorry to hear that she did not listen to how you felt about the situation. Your wife reminds me of my ex-husband. After we were married for 20 years, I found out he was having multiple affairs. I divorced him. After the divorce, he would talk to me all the time. Telling me things like "I was the love of his life" and tried to kiss me. I said you should of thought about that when you chose to end our relationship. No more talks, nothing, that ended when you gave up our marriage.

I feel like she is still hanging on to him. Her ex needs no support from her. She chose to end that when she divorced him. I'd take MarriedaBalles advice and divorce her. She sounds like she is more concern about her ex than you.

Hang in there, you deserve MUCH better!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 10:37am

I've heard of divorced parents going to their exes' loved ones' funerals, but not with the other parent. That's a new one to me. My mom went to my grandpa's funeral because both families continued to get along after the divorce. But she didn't go with my dad.

Your wife seems to have issues with boundaries. Balless gave some good advice.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Wed, 01/08/2014 - 7:03pm

Personally, I would tell her before to choose him or you, so she can't say she didn't know how upset you were or she wouldn't have do it. But you have every right to demand to be put first by your spouse.