I'm at the end of my rope. SS is a lying, stealing, little brat. He has ADHD and maybe a bunch of other disorders. He has been formally diagnosed with the ADHD but is in line fora full psychological testing for ODD, autism, RAD, bipolar, etc. I cannot stand him. He is the most irritating kid. He tries to get under everyone's skin, won't shut up and throws tantrums if you ask him to do anything. He is 9 but acts like a 4 year old at best. DH only yells at him if I say something, otherwise he mostly ignores him. He can't do anything on his own and has lost privileges for pretty much anything. He doesn't flush, wash his hands, clean up after himself, anything. He throws out his homework, loses all his clothes and destroys toys. We also have DD1 at home. I am terrified of his behaviour rubbing off on her. I don't think I can live with him anymore. BM has unofficially given up custody to DH since last june. I've talked to DH about it and suggested he go to some sort of residential care or treatment program. DH is against it because 1. we don't have the money (it costs about 3k a month) 2. BM has said she can't handle him, so DH wants to be the one the "straightens him out".

I'm thinking the only choice I have is to leave and not live with them anymore, either that or get SS a 24/7 nanny. I can't be SS's fulltime babysitter. He requires a constant nanny. I can't do it. I can't handle it. My heart rate soars and I start screaming at him. SS shows no remorse, no guilt, nothing. It is extremely frustrating.