I have been a step mom for over 22 years. The kids were 17 and 13 when I came in to the picture. My husband at that time had custody of is daughter who was the 17 year old at hen my step son turned 14 he too then came and lived with us. From almost day one they both told me that I was not their mom. Little did they know I didn't want to be. I was however willing to love them and help guide them through life. It is now 22 years later and our relationship couldn't get any worse with my SD that is. She is a piece of work. She is so selfish, self centered, a liar, someone who cheated on her husband, I could go on and on. Her last stunt was she took a man straight from prison. Moved him in to their home and he ended up stealing the kids things t sell. She now has baby number 3 by him when she couldn't afford bay 1 or 2. So, how having the 3rd was a good idea I have no clue. Anyways, she married this man and never told us. She got pregnant by him and never told us. She had the baby and never told us. I didn't meet the baby until she was 10 months olds. She is now 3 and I have only seen her maybe 5 times. My problem is when ever my SD has a man in her life she doesn't know me. She only knows me when he dumps her and then she needs something. I told my husband after this happened 4 other times that if she did it again I was finished. Well, she did it again. I don't feel bad that she doesn't have food. I don't feel bad that she cant afford gas. I don't feel bad about any of it. I told her this was not someone she should have in her life. She said to me It was her life and her decision. I agree with that. But, we are now at a point that I said we would be. No one wanted to listen yet they all expect me to help and feel bad. I don't have it in me. She is 40 years old not 17. How do I act as if I care when I truly could care less?