F-ing in-laws
I used to have a good relationship with my mother in law, but that has turned to shit. I called her today to try and play nice and catch up and she starts harping on how I blame SS for his behavior :jawdrop: .... Ummmm, who else do you blame??? Anyway, long story short she said that I need to stop being resentful to him for how he treats me. F that! I am working on my marriage because while things are looking up, we are not strong. We are trying to get to a good place but its hard. SS is the reason we fight, plain and simple. SS is hateful, disrespectful, mean spirited, cruel, and a general pain in the ass.
I need to continue to work on my marriage. I need to be a good mom to my bios. I need to do things that make me happy sometimes. I DON'T need to force a relationship that is not wanted. So as another part of my F Off Friday- F off MIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I will join you on that one.
I will join you on that one. My mil is a crazy effing biatch! As well as my fil. They don't grasp why I might be peeved that my ss15 pressed his body up on my daughter's while she was asleep and why I am pissy that he stole her panties as well as my own. Because he's "just a kid". He's a freaking sexual predator, you dumb asses!
I'll hop on that band
I'll hop on that band wagon... mil and fil are beyond crazy.. we no longer associate with them!
Yes, we no longer have
Yes, we no longer have contact with the crazy nutsacks either!
Are you as sad about it as I
Are you as sad about it as I am
I will join you.......my
I will join you.......my entire in law family can eff off. They like to pretend I didn't exist....I wish they did a better job
Yes-I don't want anyone to
Yes-I don't want anyone to think I'm excluding my thieving sil or my pot smoking jobless homeless bil from eff off Friday. I am thoughtful enough to want to include ALL my inlaws.
My inlaws all live together,
Hey do we have the same
Hey do we have the same inlaws? My mil, fil, bil and his gf, bil's daughter, and my ss15 all live in mil and fil's doublewide. Sil has established her own residence as she moves from man to man to shack up with.
I would almost think that we
I would almost think that we do!! I can hardly believe there is another family as messed up as these people!! They also frequently have SS11 and SD4 there as well. 3 bedrooms. 1 bathroom. 7 adults. disgusting. forgot to add DH thinks it is ok, not the way he chooses to live, but ok. SOOOOO not ok.
I have to join in... BM, her
I have to join in...
BM, her aunt, and the 3 adult skids live together in a TINY one bedroom home owned by the aunt. The bedroom has the bathroom attached, so you have to walk through it to get to the bathroom. And because of a cesspool issue, they cannot flush toilet paper. So, when they "go," the paper goes into the trash can, not the toilet. When DH told me this, I almost vomited. Also, everyone smokes so much, the house apparently reeks. When DH sees the kids, which is rare, by their choice, he has to remove his clothing right away because the stink is so bad and I have allergies-and he does not go into the house. It is just them being in his car-he smells terrible.
Despite all of this, the skids refuse to work/only work pt and have no ambition to leave. They complain a lot, and everyone fights, but they don't do anything to leave. Before DH met me, he tried to get an place for him and the kids and none of the three would come with him because he has rules and BM does not. But, 2 of them now want to move into my tiny home, as I guess 5 adults is getting to be way too much in that house.
Thank you for saying that,
Thank you for saying that, because it makes me feel even more validated. I do have 100 more reasons why they will never live with us. But, I agree with you....the cesspool can be fixed but the aunt won't pay for it. She and BM are compulsive gamblers-the aunt won A LOT of money in a lottery years ago, but it has been gone for years. There was more than enough to fix it properly, but they blew through that money in less than a year. They live in a very rural area with no close neighbors, so I guess that is they get away with it.
This is just one reason I cannot believe the skids did not/do not want to leave that house. And I swear, if DH ever has them in here and they throw shitty toilet paper in my trash can, I will flip. I really well. I am not good with bodily fluids as it is, and that would be terrible for me.
You are 100% validated. I
You are 100% validated. I wish I would have said no to the ENTIRE moving in thing, my skids are young but i feel like my relationship with DH deteriorated when we moved in together. I am very type A, and well, he's not.
I am sorry you are going
I am sorry you are going through this. I am very Type A, too, and DH is not, either. I feel your pain. It is not an easy situation, by any means.
If it makes you feel better, I thought adult skids would be easier. I was in la la land....Before DH, I was married for over 10 years when I learned my then-husband was cheating on me. After we divorced, I was very careful about who I dated. I met a couple of men without kids (like me) and they were nice, but not for me. I met one very awesome man, but I saw how spoiled his daughter was, and I ran. It is sad, because he still does not understand why women don't stick around. Then, I met DH. 2 of his kids were teens and one was already an adult. They did not live with him, but I saw how nasty they were. I figured, however, that since I knew in advance, I was good. Before we married, I made him promise that they would never move in, nor we would support them. (They expected to sit on the couch and have him hand them money forever). He agreed, because he understands. Other than that, he can do what he wants, as long as I come first. And I do.
My MIL had a fit when I told her about those promises. She is nuts, really. If she wants to support adults who wont work, lie, do drugs, and steal, she can. And she can move them in. She acts like we have all this money, when in fact, DH works 6 days a week, and I am still looking for permanent work-there are no jobs here and it has been a struggle. And we have a one bedroom home. She told me since I wont step up, she will have to. Fine by me. My worry now is that she is pounding DH to get him on her side.
Oh my, I can relate to your
Oh my, I can relate to your story too much. I also dated ALL men without kids prior to DH. If I had it to do over again i would never ever enter a relationship with someone who had kids. I don't deal with the MIL in a financially supporting the skids (yet) way, but she is very much trying to undermine DH emotionally with the skids one will have NO contact with him at all, the others will but prefer to spend their time with MIL, of course because she has no rules, no bedtime, eat what you want do what you want, and all the time I will remind you how DH would NEVER let you skids do this stuff. I feel for him but at the same time, I think he needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mother, he lets FIL and MIL walk all over him. And I agree, MIL told DH that if he did more FUN stuff with the skids on weekends they would "want to be there", we too do not have oodles of money, i work two jobs, seven days a week and DH works two jobs 5 days a week
I am dealing with a similar
I am dealing with a similar situation. My DH's gems are 20, 21, and 24. They are hateful, cruel, and starting to become scary, and I don't scare easily. DH finally set boundaries about 2.5 years ago. At that time, my MIL totally understood and supported what he was doing. She even told me that the kids would never be nice, because they are just not nice. She warned me that his daughter can become violent.
Well, 6 months ago, my MIL found God (no offense meant to anyone), and in doing so, has decided that the kids need love and support, no matter how they treat me or DH. With the "kids," there has been an arrest (possibly more), vicious lies and manipulation, illegal drugs, and much more, but all of that is not their fault, according to MIL. She is off the wall, and I am DONE with her. I think the feeling is mutual, as she has finally seemed to realize I am not budging. Although she has no relationship with them (for 5 years now), she feels that we should allow them to move with us into our one bedroom home. She wants us to give them lots of cash, even though we don't have it, because that is "what parents do." She wants me to accept them, and ignore the fact that they have been cruel to me and DH. And even though they hate me, I should want to help them to "find God and become nice."
I feel kind of bad that I am not dealing with her anymore, but I also feel relief, because she is deluded and I do not need that in my life.
You are not wrong here, not at all, but there is probably not much you can do about her. I would not even bother calling her anymore. Your marriage needs to be tended to, and you need to be happy. And you do NOT need a MIL-that is what I finally realized.
Lol! I just got back on and
Lol! I just got back on and am loving the F off in laws!! }:)
I feel your pain. I have
I feel your pain. I have completely detached from my MIL and her entire side of the family. I thought we had a good relationship for the first 3 years I was married to her son, only to find out that SD18 was turning them all against me and they were buying her side of the story. The last straw was when I overheard them telling DH that the kids problems are all my fault. Good bye lady. The shame of it is that a grown woman should know that 18 year olds twist stories to gather sympathy. MIL seems to forget it was me who sat through her various cancer surgeries, locally and far away.
This makes me sad for you.
This makes me sad for you. Going through cancer surgeries with her, only to have her turn like this. She must be like my MIL, who is always saying that blood is thicker than water. UGH. Since my DH and I have been together, he has been the healthiest he has been in years-before meeting BM 25 years ago. She and the kids would not even let him sleep-he worked shifts and they would bug him all day. Now, he sleeps and eats well. He takes his meds and goes to the doctor when he should. They had him so beat down. But none of that matters, because as horrible as his kids are, they are blood and I am not. Sad.