So over all I feel like I have a pretty good life with SO and SS.

SO works offshore and so for 3 weeks at a time I pretty much have the house to myself and live in my own little world. SO then comes home for 3 weeks and the first week and last week we have SS who is typically a really good kid despite all the PAS and differences in the household.

SO and I started dating right before the final divorce hearing mind you BM drug it out for over 9months to get the hearing the way she wanted and then drug out signing the final decree by trying to make ridiculous changes such the decree that would never be approved by SO or the judge such as "SO cannot have custody of SS for 7 consecutive days" - yet we have had him 7 consecutive days many times and the custody agreement states for that to happen. I stood by during all of this and tried to slowly build a relationship with SS.

SS and I have had an awesome relationship despite a few bumps of PAS from BM which we have been able to diffuse most very quickly. SO has been very understanding has always tried to see my side of things and comfort me during the few times I have been very hurt by SS's words.

Well now things are changing and I am feeling like I am just a live in maid with emotions for SO. About 2 months ago or so BM started dating - as she hadn't dated since the divorce and would wear SO's clothes to SS's sporting events even with HIS name on them, she lives in a house with all the furniture including bed that they shared, SS had even told me she has pictures posted of SO in the house. I knew that this would throw off some of the emotions with SS and expected him to be slightly distant but I had no idea what was really coming.

It all started when the Friday before Father's Day BM had insisted on having SS because SO picked SS up from school on his last day, and we had him the Friday/Saturday before Mother's Day because my graduation was that weekend. This was all fine and dandy and SO and I were so excited because we hadn't been on a date since our Valentine's date due to me getting a new job, us moving and all that stuff had just been to crazy.

Well - that night it got crazier I was upstairs getting ready to go out and SO was outside finishing up a project and then was going to wash up so we could go out to eat and a movie (simple and cheap) when he walks in and tells me we have to go get SS. I felt devastated turns out BM had a date for that night and thought she could get away without telling us though she was supposed to as in the decree it states if the parent is going to be gone for more than 4 hours the other must be alerted and get first choice to watch the child....well she told SS he would be staying with his grandma while she went out mind you SS is not used to seeing his mom go out without him so he was devastated and through a fit that he wanted his daddy and BM called with "You either need to come pick up your son or tell him he's staying with his grandma end of story I am not missing my date" feeling bad SO said we would come pick him up a little later as he still wanted to take me out to dinner which I felt bad because I knew that SS wouldn't eat at BM's as he was upset and tried to be grown up and say that we should take him with us - SO called he back and she said "Okay he will be ready in a minute but I can pick him up at like 11:30 right?" SO had a fit and said we get him for the night or we don't get him at all and she said okay and told SS she would pick him up in the morning for a birthday party, I had hope this would be the extent of the drama.

It wasn't! BM didn't even contact us until 2pm the next day during that morning SS was so hurt he cuddled up in the chair with me and cried telling me he didn't feel like his mom loved him, wished she would lose her phone because she was always on it, told me he wasn't allowed to ask so many questions because she said it was annoying (the kid has questions about everything but they are actually very intelligent questions for a 5yr old) and much more - mind you I was just sitting in a chair and he asked if he could talk to me.

BM finally came and picked SS up for the party but not without hurting his feelings a little more we were at FIL/SMIL's house so she came in the house and said hi and hugged SIL's son before even acknowledging her own son. Anyways that went well SO got him back that evening after the party and the weekend was awesome. Then SS went back to his mom's that Monday and we got him on Wednesday as per the normal schedule, at which time SS informed me he wasn't allowed to talk to me per BM and he was going to do what his mom said.

I tried to ask him why without being too invasive and he would talk and then stop and tell me he wasn't allowed. I then went SO and told him that he needed to talk to his son because this is my house (my name is primary on lease and ALL bills as the divorce/foreclosure of marital house ruined SO's credit)and I won't have a child that won't talk to me in my house. He talked to SS and even called BM who denied telling SS such thing, and then I called BM and had a talk with her and found out SS was starting to try to play the game of pulling emotions at each house - I did not want believe that she was telling the truth over SS but there way to many details she wouldn't have known about a indecent when I got onto SS even though he didn't tell the full story if SS wouldn't have told her. He got in severe trouble for this and decided I was mean and all that but we don't tolerate lying and I will not have that and neither will SO.

After this the rest of the visit was decent and then I got my 3 weeks to myself - until SO got back and SS got back and started comparing households and telling me I was copying his mom because I got him the same toy even before she did but he didn't get it because I wasn't going to take it over to BM's house. He also told me that night that he didn't want me around in which I was speechless and told him that was fine he could stay at our buddies house but I was going to MY house - and he then got upset that I left. We fought this battle and he then started to become more needy to SO which was fine I tried to take a stepback especially after we found out while SO was at work BM was bringing her new guy into the house which I'm sure intimidated SS especially since the house is filled with marital property. And I know this bugs him because he made a comment "Daddy I wish you could come spend the night with me at mommas house on our couch" - at which he then lied to DH saying he said something else and eventually got called out SO had a good response though "Buddy I know you want that but that can't happen you have two houses now"

I felt like I was still doing good dealing with it and we did pictures of the family and included MIL and BIL9, MIL's boyfriend all of that I arranged it to where it was at our house so SS could have his four wheeler which is like his prize possession at our house. I felt like it went well.

SS went to BM's and came back even more needy! Mind you while he was gone SO and I did get to go out to dinner with just and got some much needed affection time. It feels like that has been ages though even though we just got SS back on Tuesday - I was exhausted as I get up at 445 to go to work as I drive 70mi to work everyday but SS wasn't tired in which SO said he would watch a movie with him but first came up and showered with me and told me good night which was fine and dandy, well it happened again Wed night but then he didn't even tell me goodnight and it irritated the crap out of me but whatever I think what was more irritating is we are a very intimate couple and I felt like I was being blocked by SS's neediness.

Anyways then last night SS had just got done riding four wheelers and said he wasn't that hungry though dinner was about to be served I nicely asked him to at least try to eat a little bit and he said he would...5min later he opens the door to outside and tells me "MIL's BF says its ok I don't have to eat" I followed him back inside and confronted the situation in which SS acted like he was going to cry and ran to SO and SO dismissed it saying he got hot and he didn't have to eat and that's fine but I felt like it was showing SS he could go behind my back, and in which while I was getting my plate SS and SO went and sit in a lounge chair and SS gave me the smirk of victory which left me to want to fly off the handle - SO and I settled this a few minutes later and agreed I could talk to SS about the situation and he would to and he didn't realize the situation as he was outside for most of the conversation between SS and I. SO and I actually got alone time last night which made me feel better.

Until this morning when I was talking to SS and he told me this was daddy's house and I didn't do anything. I even asked him how he thought his clothes got cleaned while him and his dad were out having fun while I was working and stepping back to try to understand the situation to which SS replied "You take it to get it done" which I quickly corrected him I have come home and done laundry after work while they were riding, without an acknowledgement or thank you from even SO lately because he's been to into SS wanting to spend time with him as he is scared SS is going to grow up to quickly.

I just feel worn down, I am trying everything I can to be understanding but I feel like the limited time alone with SO even at night lately has left me just down - I love both of them like I said my SO is a very good man but I am just tired, I want my time, I want to feel appreciated.