venting... sorry
so my first blog on here got allot of hatefull comments on it.
In my opinion instead of skipping ahead and ussuming the worst please remember what this site is for and remember that i also need advise.
i may only be 19 but dont be quick to judge me.
sorry this isant about stepkids.....
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its all pretty much explained
its all pretty much explained in my bio and last blog
Hey SA - I DID go back and
Hey SA - I DID go back and read the other blog (curiousity got the better of me)
And she DID get flamed for no real reason other than people think crew with every post these days it seems.
I have suspicions about a LOT of posts these days, but I think it's still only fair to give every one a chance until it gets too crazy.
That said, OP - you are 19. You have 2 children of your own - you must have started having babies at what 14-15? You are having trouble with one of your OH's NINE (OMFG) kids, who is also a teenager?
HOW THE F*CK DO YOU EXPECT THIS 14YO GIRL TO RESPECT YOU????? WISE UP GIRL AND START MAKING SOME SMART CHOICES, BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS ALREADY A FREAKING TRAIN WRECK AND MOVING IN WITH A MAN WHO YOU HAVE KNOWN SINCE YOU WERE JAIL BAIT IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE SINGLE MOST STUPID DECISION YOU HAVE MADE IN YOUR SHORT SHORT LIFE.
Ok, your parents are useless (apparently) so I am going to give you some tough love - someone has to.
Move out. Get your midwifery degree (?) sorted and grow up. Focus on making a life for YOU and your kids, and when you are settled, happy and mature THEN start looking for a REAL man to be your life partner, not some baby daddy who appears to be stopping just short of paedophilia. He is NOT your partner, does NOT treat you like his equal - and for very good reason - in his eyes you are just a child, young and pretty and sexy no doubt. And he obviously likes his candy.
Move out, get on with your life and DO NOT LOOK BACK this guy is bad news. You have your own babies to think about now so do the right thing for yourself and them.
What I got out of your last
What I got out of your last post was you're 19, have two children of your own under five (one being 3), live with a man with nine children (one being older than you but who still lives at home)...that's 11 kids to one 19 year old playing 'mum'.
I'm not 'judging' you, hey, vent away. But as far as advice, I got nothing. I'd live in a tiny flat I could barely fit in (with your own two kids) before I'd move into a house with 11 kids, 9 not even my own and one older than myself and be expected to 'parent' them. No matter how expensive homes are in your area. No matter how much I wanted to save money for a house. Nope. No way. But perhaps you'll find the 'advice' you're seeking, it'll work and your household will become instantly peaceful and pleasant.
I think posters are
I think posters are frustrated because the basics aren't there in your case. Basics...being able to take care and support ones self before attempting to care for others. The choice of a proper mate... a lot of problems on this board is a direct result of relationship problems, not step child problems and I think posters don't have a lot of patience with that
all my basics are exlplained
all my basics are exlplained in my bio. please feel free to read it. may help explain a few things
Hey if you are going to be
Hey if you are going to be THAT stupid, don't hate on us for pointing a finger at it. You are either making a failed attempt at trolling, or you are the DUMBEST female ALIVE.
I dont beleive in pionting
I dont beleive in pionting fingers, i was asking that people be aware of what they are saying. like just now.
look im not trying to play
look im not trying to play anybody, i needed help so i reached out for it.
i never ment to "flame" anyone i was trying to explain the situation better, sorry if it came across like that.
im happy with my relationship its just when it comes to his daughter things get messy and that is what i was trying to find advise for.
I know the age thing is a big deal when it comes to his kids and myself like allot have pointed out. But i also dont want it to be the end of my relationship.
i got myself into this yes but i also need help
Oh, yeah, you sound happy as
Oh, yeah, you sound happy as a clam and all is well except for that messy thing with the 14 year old. :O
"recently she has threatend to punch my 3yr old in the head and made it Very clear that she didnt care if i knew and that id be gone soon anyways. Well i told my partner and all hell broke lose to the point where we nearly broke up over it.
I gave her my expensive double bed to use instead of bunk beds but she would rather sleep on the couch. Well The bf (works), two kids and I get up around 6.30 and of course shes on the couch (even after her dad telling her not too) which means we have to tip toe around her until 11oclock or she complains to her dad that the kids keep waking her up which ends up in me getting an earful".
Look, there is no advice that is going to make this all better. Normal route would be to have dad discipline her. Well, that isn't going to happen in your case. Papa doesn't give a rats behind. Second route would be for Dad to talk respect for you and require his daughter to listen to you in his absence. Nope. That one isn't going to happen either. Papa doesn't give a rats behind how kid treats you or your children.
It's not going to get better. Matter of fact it's likely going to get worse. Short of gagging and hog tying the kid up all day, just what could anyone say to make it 'work'? Nobody is 'misunderstanding' you. If you would actually try to gag/tie the kid not only would you be arrested for child abuse you'd chance the kid kicking your buns first.
So you're back to just venting on a cyber board to a bunch of people who can not 'help' you, nor do you really want the advice they gave, or packing up you and your kids and moving on. You wanted advice, that's the best I got.
Parents with that many kids
Parents with that many kids don't have TIME for a relationship. And no you do not have the basics, u do not support urself. Sounds like u and ur boyfriend have it all worked out. He supports u while u go to school {although I don't know when u'd have time!} And he gets young sex/live in nanny/maid while ur own kids get neglected and abused. I think u'd be MUCH better off on ur own. Then yes u'd have to work but u'd be able to concentrate on ur own kids/school and not have the additional burden of all those kids. Ur gonna end up hating all of them and ur boyfriend. And by the way, marriage is much more than u think it is. Ur a comitment phobe's dream girl. All the pleasure and benefits of marriage and then they can walk away scott free.
You want advise? Ok, leave
You want advise? Ok, leave the asshole who allows his child to threaten your child. You *are* a parent to your children. They *are* your first responsibility. If you allow them to be beaten by an out-of-line teen with the blessing of her Disney Daddy, you will be to blame.
Look, I had a really tough time about a year ago (maybe longer now) with my *bio* daughter hurting my baby. You know when she finally straightened up? When I made it very clear that the safety of both of my children was important to me, and I would send her to live elsewhere if she didn't stop abusing her baby sister.
In your case, this girl isn't going to take you seriously because her daddy condones her behavior. You have no choice but to remove your children for their own protection. Anything less is negligence at best.
*dupe*
*dupe*
Ok, I need to know does bf
Ok, I need to know does bf back you up when dealing with the 14yo? You have to get him to put his foot down with the kid. Even then you still may be sunk. What is your relationship with the older kids? Maybe she can exert some positive influence on the brat.
Do you drive? Does SD need/want to go places and can only get there by car? If so, bribe her with rides. She'll still be an ass but she'll at least do her chores.
It sounds like this is a relationship of convenience. If it works for you great. A word of caution is that these seldom work out in your favor.
Do not pick her shit up and never let her alone with your kids.
My hands get all kinds of achy when I mess with raw wool, how does yours do?
Your life choices are quite
Your life choices are quite different from mine so I'll just accept that's what works for you. I won't try to force my value system on you.
Let see - you were on your own at 14 - the age of the daughter. I guess it's time for her to see the streets. Problem solved.
What man in their right mind
What man in their right mind would allow the new chick to toss his kid out?
OP things won't get better. That man will never put you and your kids ahead of his own. He doesn't care if she disrespects you or hurt your kids. As long as you continue to cook, clean and open your legs, he's fine. Start messing with his kid and watch how fast you find yourself on the street.
if you daughter is 3 how old
if you daughter is 3 how old is your youngest? how long has it been since you moved in with bf? how long have you been away from the baby daddy?
it sounds to me frankly that your in over your head little girl. and not because of anything other then the fact that this man provides for you and your children finacially. in return although he may love you, but your providing fulltime day care and really hot sex because although i am sure you are beautiful you wouldnt have to be your 19 men love that shit.
do what ya gotta do and how much of your soul you can barter to make sure your kids are taken care of and have a decent life style.
if you stay i suggest you get a college education out of his wallet as repayment for how these kids are about to make you suffer, because when their old enough and this ends you can provide for your kids. and pls dont breed with this man!!!