HELP my 19 year old SD hates me & is turning my daughter against me.
I'm literally at me wits end! I can do no right with this child! I have done everything in my power to make her feel welcome, included, special and loved since the day I met her and she can't stand me and I don't think anything I ever do is going to change that. She has even turned my 14 year old daughter, who absolutely idolizes her, against me. It is so bad that my own daughter told her 6 months ago that I said that the only reason that the SD didn't want my daughter at her grandfather's visitation/funeral (this is my DH's father that passed away last December 25th), is because she, the SD, wanted all the attention. Now, my 14 year old daughter is the typical teenage girl. Always talking, never listening, knows everything and is too cool!! Well we are at this very moment on vacation at Myrtle Beach (with the DH, SD, MIL & 2 of DH's brothers) and this blow up of what I supposedly said was thrown at me the 2nd night we were here. I was completely blindsided. I looked at my daughter and asked where that came from and she looked at me and said, you said it. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I looked at her and said I most certainly did not. I reminded her of the fact that she tends, as most teenage girls do, to talk more then listen and repeat what she thinks she hears. Of course the SD doesn't believe me and probably never will. My DH looks at both of us and says, well someone's lying and the MIL says well the SD told me that Morgan told her this 6 months ago. Then goes running over the SD and hugs all over her and love all over her and the rest of the family looks at me like a dog turd! I swear if I had my own vehicle down here, I would l have left in it and drove home. My DH, has been acting pretty much OK since this happened but the SD, MIL, my daughter and another grandchild are all avoiding me like the plague! I have 2 more days of this misery plus a 9 hr drive home. I need advise on how to get thru the rest of this vacation without becoming an emotional basket-case! I'm typing this thru teary eyes and pleading for some advice! All advice is welcome! Thanks for your consideration.
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Comments
Thank you! You put a smile
Thank you! You put a smile on my face and I really needed that! I've had one talk with my daughter since the blow up and she doesn't know it yet, but when we get home on Sunday she's grounded! Her and I are going to have a HUGE talk ALL DAY on Monday because my DH will be at work and it will be just her and I in the house! The SD doesn't live with us THANK GOD! But I've decided to disengage with her and the MIL! The way I look at it, if I'm not around I can't be blamed.
you had best punish your
you had best punish your child for lying. 14 is old enough to sit at the hotel room while the rest of you enjoy a day at the beach. She can learn NOW what idolizing a crappy person will get her. Don't let your child act like your SD. Bring their ages down. If SD was 9 and your DD was 4, wouldn't you give your child some form of correction and (if you had to) say 'I don't care what the other children do, you are my child and you will not act like that'
Thank you for your reply! Oh
Thank you for your reply! Oh believe me she will be punished when we get home. She honestly thinks that's what I said, when it wasn't. We get home on Sunday and her and I will be alone in the house on Monday. Little does she know we will have a long talk that day and she will be grounded probably for the rest of the summer and she will understand that she will not act like her or the re-percussions will be ugly. thanks!
I agree with Step. Vacation
I agree with Step. Vacation would be over for my kid, pack her up and take her home. Strip cell, iPod and computer and tell her to enjoy the rest of her summer vacation in your house. She can see daylight again when she goes back to school.
And forget about SD she needs
And forget about SD she needs a job and needs to get out. don't even try, I've decided you can't always fix broken
You can't do anything about
You can't do anything about SD but you can put your foot in your daughter's ass. Even if you did it, your daughtet had no business repeating it.
I suspect your daughter said
I suspect your daughter said what she said to make herself look cool in her older S/sisters eyes. She is well aware how to gain brownie points from whom.
When you get home and before you ground her tell her as she has now aligned herself to SDs side and has chosen to make you out to be mean-spirited then it is time you lived up to the title of "Queen of Mean." DD will be grounded. She wil also find herself (if you drive her to school) being dropped off 1/2 mile form school and she will walk. She will get generic return-to-school gear and a new backpack is off the books. No more treats of nice little gifts 'just because'. Nope. She gets the generic everything for 6 months seeing she allowed this little episode to drag on for 6 months.
Then MIL. Ignore her. If she calls your home tell her DH is not around but you will tell him she called... bye!
SD .... she is a witch. But a young 'un and quite manipulable. Just walk around the next 2 days with a shit eating grin on your face. If she says anything just smile and say "Your dad has ALL the answers... cue to arms stretch above your head and let out a sigh!" It works even BETTER if you are sharing close proximity sleeping arrangements.
But seriously, I think your DD wanted to be cool in the eyes of the spoiled one. Time for her to learn about family loyalties.
Another case of stupid kids
Another case of stupid kids getting blamed when the truth is that your DH needs to step the fuck up.