How should I feel
My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and she has 2 girls and we have a 9 month old baby boy together. Ive been wanting to ask her to marry me for awhile but whats stopping me is her ex. He acts like they are still in a relationship texting all the time over random things besides the girls. I have asked her numbers of times that hey this needs to stop cause when you 2 divorced and you met me its my turn and its not fair to me. Just the other day i confronted her on it and she blew up and screamed No one will ever get between mine and his friendship and to get it threw my head.I feel as if im sharing her with him. I realize they have kids but so do we. Am I wrong for not wanting to pull the trigger on getting married because of this. Should I just walk away? Is this ok?
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You are being very smart NOT
You are being very smart NOT to pull the trigger and ask her to marry you. She has, IMHO, an unhealthy relationship with her ex and she/they clearly have NO/VERY LITTLE boundaries. The ONLY reason they EVER need to communicate is in regards to the girls. Period. They BOTH need to get that thru their thick heads!
Hi Shane, Sounds to me like
Hi Shane,
Sounds to me like they should still be together! Yes, I support divorced people having a civil relationship post divorce for their kids' sake - but she needs clear boundaries with him and she's not interested in that.
Where does that leave you? The third wheel to them, just tagging along hoping nothing bad happens. You don't deserve that.
I'm glad you haven't proposed to her because your gut instinct is right. She's not fully ready for another committed relationship if she can't give up this "friendship" with her ex.
Might be time for you to pull back. Let her know you love her but cannot live in the shadow of her ex and move out on your own for a while. If she truly wants a full time relationship with you, she'll drop the "friendship" with her ex. Keep things civil with him, but no more buddy-buddy texting all the time and no more blowing up at you for confronting her on it.
Good luck. I am in a place in my life where I won't accept second fiddle to anyone. I deserve 100% and so do you.
"I am in a place in my life
"I am in a place in my life where I won't accept second fiddle to anyone. I deserve 100% and so do you."
DAMN RIGHT RWF!!!!
Sometimes even though it
Sometimes even though it hurts, you realize you're worth more and when you finally get out of a damaged relationship, you open yourself up for a great one!
what she said ^ If she gets
what she said ^
If she gets that emotional about your feelings and thoughts about 'them,' than most likely she still see's their relationship as a priority. remember respect is a big thing. if she cant respect you by pulling back the friendliness or even hearing you out, than there's a problem. it should be 100/100 not 100/50.
good luck!
Get a paternity test on that
Get a paternity test on that baby boy.
Yeah it gets to the point
Yeah it gets to the point where you are like screw this I deserve better and more. Then you get the old excuse I have kids with him what dont you understand. So i guess my son and I come second. Anyways thanks everyone for the comments!
i'm on the fence. though i
i'm on the fence. though i can see your point 100% i can see her point too. i have a few guy friends that i was serious with. one took me YEARS like 10 years to get over. the other, i dated in elementary school and have been close to him and his familiy since.
HOWEVER, although i'm a big fan of "dont' tell me who i can/can't talk to" i'm also a fan of "my husband deserves the respect from me to cease communication on that level if HE is not comfortable with it"
maybe approach her in a differnt non confrontational manner? even if you didn't approach her like that, your choice words could've come across that way.
I love that saying! My
I love that saying! My suggestion if you really want this to work, ask her to go to counseling, but make sure you get a good counselor that deals with blended families. Perhaps if she hears from a professional that what she is doing is hurting you and your relationship and NOT appropriate, she would understand. That would be my last effort and then move on.
If they are such great
If they are such great friends, why did they get divorced in the first place?
Her reaction to your (perfectly reasonable) request to respect YOUR feelings, says it all.