I can relate to so many of the concerns expressed by others on this site, regarding step children. I am curious, however, to hear feedback regarding step parent relationships with the divorced spouse on other issues not related to the children. In other words, I came to the realization long ago, that nothing will ever change with the dynamics between my skids, my DW, my BS and myself. I just have to accept the fact that I will always be the one to bend way over backwards, make concessions, give in, and for the most part, bite my tongue, if I am to keep the peace. It is just the nature of the beast. Because of this, however, I feel very strongly that the least I should expect is my DW's strong support in areas not related to the kids. The marriage becomes quite unbearable when I feel these most basic of spousal needs are not being met. I should also mention, we both work full time in very stressful jobs, and I help substantially with household chores, shopping, etc. I don't expect my wife to be chef of the year, and actually help as much as possible with the cooking (during the week she is home much earlier, since she is a teacher, so it makes sense she usually starts dinner before I get home). I am alo very involved with skids' many extracurricular activiites, am always very supportive (never critical) and take a very serious interest in their education (once again never critical). Obviously, I am not perfect and have enough faults of my own. I know I can sometimes be moody after a stressful day, but I do try to work on that.

I would love to hear views of other stepparents on this subject. Am I being unrealistic in expecting DW to be a little more attentive to my personal needs (emotional, not physical), since on a daily basis I make most of the concessions necessary (involving the kids) in order to maintain a relatively healthy, peaceful home environment for skids and BS?