Adult Step-Kids Ruins a Marriage

There are all kinds of step kids. Good ones, nice ones, loving ones and spoiled, hateful and destructive ones. I came from a family of the last ones. Two step-Kids that did not want their mother to remarry. They were happy manipulating the mother they had. Being spoiled and getting their way. The last thing they wanted was a step dad that would ask them to keep their rooms clean and help keep the house clean. In fact they did not want any rules and only wanted to do what they wanted to do. I tried to work with them over the years; we gave them money, bought them cars and went to their rescue every time they needed help. The first year we were married the younger one threatened to stab we with a butcher knife while I was sleeping, just because I told her to clean her room. After she did move out we continued to help her financially and with physical help on the house she was given by her grandmother. She would come over every afternoon and set in our kitchen with her two kids and eat our kitchen clean. She never called to let us know she was coming or asked if she could come over or asked if we had plans. The other 3 kids ( the other step daughter and my two sons) always called before coming over to check if we were busy. The younger one just walked in and never asked if we had plans, if we did we had to put them off until she decided to leave. Her mother would not tell her we had plans. When the grand kids got older they started treating me the same as their mother, being very hateful and disrespectful. They also had no discipline, like their mother, and did not care about trashing the house and certainly not cleaning up before they left each night. The grand daughter and the grand son would not mind or respect their mother or us. They hit their mother and yelled at her. I tried to tell the step daughter if she did not start using discipline it was going to get worse. And it did. In December 2011 the step daughter and her two kids moved into our home because she had lost her house, repossessed. At first she said she would only be here for 1 month, then 2 months and then 3 months. Then her and her mother decided she could stay until January 2013. I was then told about this. I explained to my wife that we needed to have rules and needed to write them down and have a family meeting. At this point they had taken over 3 bedrooms but would not keep them clean. My wife and I came up with a few rules and told the daughter we needed to have a meeting. We presented the rules and was told by the daughter, she don’t do rules. She said she was her own person and would not follow rules and would not compromise with us. The 14 year old granddaughter also said she don’t do rules or chores. We tried a couple more times to work with her about the rules with each time her not responding respectfully. By this time my step daughter’s son had started throwing fits when he did not get his way. He would hit his mother and me. He would throw a fit because he did not want to go to school and the daughter would leave the angry child with me all day. I would try discipline but the daughter did not want be to tell her kids what to do. In fact she told her kids they did not have to listen to me and when I told them to do something they were to call her and she would handle it. Then one day the daughter was leaving for work and came back to my bedroom and yelled at me, her son would not go to school so she was leaving him at the house. When I got up I found him in the front yard mad. She had gone to work. I made him come into the house and told him to go to his room. He ran and grabbed his pocket knife and was trying to stab me with it. I took the knife away from him and made him go to his room. The daughter said I should have left him in the front yard and not made him go to his room? I took both his pockets knifes and would not let him have them back, he was 8 years old at this time. Things continued to get worse every day with the daughter and the kids treating me as if I was not human. They told me to get out and the house was not mine. The daughter started threatening me and again said she wished I was dead or she could stab me when I was asleep. I was only living in my bedroom or setting out on the drive way as I was not comfortable in any part of the house they were in. I was not comfortable setting in the living room or kitchen area. I had told my wife that she needed to get things under control. She stated it was her daughter and she wanted to help her. She stated if she had to pick her or me she would pick her. She said I could move out! So in December 2012 I made up my mind I had to do something because the stress was going to kill me. My blood pressure had been running around 200 for some time. My diabetes was out of control. So I decided to find me a place to move and contact a lawyer about a divorce. I filed for a divorce in mid December and moved out. My wife then told all our friends she was shocked I moved out and filed for a divorce? She told everyone I was having an affair! That obviously was not the case. She started having an affair, in less than a week of me moving, with her ex-husband and the step daughter’s real dad. He now is buying the house so she can give me my equity in it.