Step Talk

contact your state's registry for a review. In WA state, dshs manages cs calculations and garnishs paycheck for all employees that are obligated for cs. And from my understanding...no, just b/c your bf orginally agreed to this amount doesn't mean he is obligated for life.

I think the best bet is for an attorney to review his divorce papers to determine what was actually agreed upon. Unless he agreed to alimony...than the extra money he agreed to pay can be changed. And cs is based on a calculation of both incomes of bioparents and how many additional child they are obligated to support, not what parents want, and it is subject to change for certain reasons.

If your state doesn't have a registry or an agency like WA, then contact local district attorney's office (child support enforcement office), and see if they help review and re-establish cs orders, and if they don't they can point you in the right direction.

Good luck...

I have a few questions on child support in WI.

If a father pays 17% of his income, is it just 17% of his 40 hours per week or do they take it from overtime too?

If the father is laid off, is the 17% then taken from the unemployment benefits?

In WI unemployment is only $350/week, so his child support payment would only be $59.50/week?

Me and my husband have 3 children together and he has 2 children from a previous relationship. They were never married, I don't know if this makes a difference. But he got laid off from his job and has to pay child support out of his unemployment benefits. His gross is only 324.00 a week and child support is 135.11 leaving us with 188.89 a week. I am not working, my children are too young and I also home school. His childrens mother is married and she has been working full time for the last 2 years and her husband has a job working for general motors in michigan. Her income alone, is more than my husband's unemployment check. She also has 2 other children and her husband has 1. A total of 5 children in their household. We just recently moved from Michigan and relocated to Tennessee, He is trying to land him a good job where this payment would not be an issue. In the mean time, our entire income tax was taken because he had gotten behind a few months last year. Their should have been something left over from our income taxes but their was nothing. He even got another bill in the mail with payment coupons for an $8,000.00 commitment for 378.00 a month. I have no idea who contact for this. It looks like a mistake. Maybe one of her other children were billed to him. How do I get this information to find out what this $8,000.00 is for and how can we lower these payments, being that we just relocated to another state? Someone please help, he will not even contact the friend of court, every time he would contact them in the past they would say he's not paying enough or it will cost him court fees if he wants to lower his payment. It seems as if he has given up and accepted this and I am not sure if they will speak with me because I am the wife.HELP

My BF did the exact same thing. The bitch would get the divorce unless he paid more than the law allows. That was in September. Bm & BF agreed that by law, child support amount would get adjusted annually at tax time.

Well two weeks ago BF pulled the plug on the additional 100 a week. She got super pissy about it and the last 2 weeks has given him reciepts saying, 250 of the 350 court ordered amount. Screw that.
So I called the court house and got the proper forms in the mail today that we need to fill out and file. No Cost. No lawyer needed.

The law is the law as described by the child support act. It's a simple formula.

I hate that some of these bitches that think 'HE' has to pay through the nose because 'HE' woke up and smelted the rot that eminates from 'their' exsistance.

Call the local family court house in the County the children reside in.

Keep us posted. Jo

I don't know, but our attorney cranked out our numbers using the 'standard' calculations that are 'supposed' to be used, but when DH went in for the custody support, they found out that DCS uses their own calculations... how in the hell does that happen?!?! I mean, isn't there suppose to be a 'standard' calculator that EVERYONE uses? Because, according to DCS, they are requesting that DH pay $1000/month... when we calculated 700-800/month. I don't get that.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

We have a big problem with my husbands ex! She has tried to make our life hell well finally i had enough and i took out a warrant against her for threating to kill me! anyway to pay us back she went to a lawyer to get higher child support and back health care and daycare which is all paid for by the state and in 2004 my husband was told that he could claim his son for eic by her and know she is try to get this money back as well what do we do! I am pregnant and we are broke can she really get all of this money???

It's not always the men who pay child support. I have 2 bio kids (and 2 step kids). My Ex husband hits me up for child support for our 17yr old - $700 Aust. dollars a month, while I have worked my ass off to support our other child who lives with me. He sits on his butt and is a 'professional student' while I keep paying and paying and paying. Never got a cent from him. Sure I could quit working and not have to pay him. But I have a nice lifestyle to support too. I have no problem contributing for my son, but being taken for a financial ride is another matter.

Just keep smiling......................

It's not always the men who pay child support. I have 2 bio kids (and 2 step kids). My Ex husband hits me up for child support for our 17yr old - $700 Aust. dollars a month, while I have worked my ass off to support our other child who lives with me. He sits on his butt and is a 'professional student' while I keep paying and paying and paying. Never got a cent from him. Sure I could quit working and not have to pay him. But I have a nice lifestyle to support too. I have no problem contributing for my son, but being taken for a financial ride is another matter.

Just keep smiling......................

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
My dh pays $12OO.OO a month for 1 child....this was awarded to bm in the state of Georgia..not based on what was his current income, but based on his previous earning potentials!!!!At the time, dh was on unemployment because his soon to be ex sent an annonoymous letter to his employer saying he was doing drugs...to top it off bm had him arrested for Domestic Violence(misdeamenor) however, that b.s charge( bm even ADMITTED, after dh was found guilty, to dh mother that she lied about dh hitting her, as this charge was made the night he packed his bags and left her after finding about an affair she had on him with his bestfriend/next door neighbor, and she was angry) has kept dh from obtaining employment in his previous higher earning field(as background checks are required to obtain employment in his previous field)...so dh has been having to pay this outrageous c.s payment on half the earnings he had before their divorce, because the judge felt dh still had the ability to earn this same income....NOT!!!!. Thankful we are on our way back to court(bm just got served papers last week)to get this b.s amount lowered..(that is if we do not get custody of ss, which we are seeking as bm has withheld visitation for almost 2 years, all the while recieving childsupport and taking trips out to California ect.)No woman, who by the way is a middle school teacher, NEEDS 1200.00 a month extra to support one child!!!! Maybe half of that is all she utelizes for ss....the rest is undoubtably her play money!

I believe if everyone is honest (I know wishful thinking) in Washington State that child support is calculated fairly. Sometimes they will use imputed income (what minimum wage would be if you had a job) if you haven't been working, or earning ability if you have a long history of making a certain amount.

But in general the court takes the partys' combined incomes, divides it by their individual incomes and comes up with each party's percentage of the combined household income. Then, however they come up with their statutory figure for how much it woudl cost to raise a child based on the parties combined household income, each party pays their percentage of what the state feels it costs to raise a child.

Let's keep it simple ... combined household income is $1000. State says it costs $100 to raise a child when the parties make $1000 per month. Dad makes $600 per month and mom makes $400 per month. Dad's percentage would be 60% and mom's 40%; therefore, dad pays $60 of the child support (or 60%) and mom is responsible for contributing (in theory) $400 (or 40%). These percentages are then carried over into extraordinary expenses: sports, activity fees, extra medical expenses, etc.

All in all I think Washington State's THEORY is fair. It's statutory so it isn't subject to much interpretation.

~ Katrina

I find the NY child support calculators WOEFULLY inadequate. It does not break down by amount of time that either parent has the children. It's basically NCP and CP which is GROSSLY unfair. More and more joint custody arrangments are taking place including ours. On paper it says that BF is the NCP and BM is the CP however, we have the three skids 3 days a week and she has them 4 days a week so that is hardly NCP and CP.

Plus BF pays at a rate much higher than the NCP rate b/c he is so gullible and thinks that "the more he pays the more it proves that he is not a deadbeat dad." he has totally been mislead by the media on the "deadbeat dad" stereotype. fact of the matter is that by capita/ percentage there are FAR more deadbeat moms when they have custody taken away from them than there are deadbeat dads.

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
the courts only take into account the NCP income, and the status the cp(often the mothers) were living when with the fathers, and they attempt to keep the mothers and children in that same status, what the mothers income is is not an issue. However, bm moved to Florida where we are seeking the modifications and custody change, and Florida is much like you described Washington Mocha...so we are extremely hopeful in the outcome we will get. Btw, dh and bm will be ordered to do a meditation before we get a court date. DH says that the courts are wasting their time with a mediation as he IS NOT budging on one thing he is asking for. His attorney says she is ok with that as she feels nothing he is seeking is unreasonable, but he still has to go to mediation first, then he gets a court date.Wish ours was moving as quickly as yours Mocha.

Tomorrow's the Day S. ... keep your fingers crossed for us.

Mediation is mandatory in our state before any trial dates. However, we have a provision that also allows only for court ordered modifications to anything if the parties cannot agree - we asked for that last time, and got it, so we shouldn't have to go to mediation.

I'd tell your DH to find small ways that he IS willing to compromise. It will save money in the long run, AND ... just might be in the kids' best interests. The compromises don't have to be anything MAJOR at all, just to think of things he could live without ...

~ Katrina

I'm sure I'm going through nothing new. I'm just having a hard time dealing with the anger and helplessness my husband's ex is causing. I really just want her to disappear.

We have been married for nine years, and live with my son from a first marriage. My sd comes every other weekend for visitation. She's a great kid and everyone gets along well.

This summer, my husband's ex decided she wanted more cs so she took him back to court. Around the same time, my sd decided she wants to come live with us (she's 12) but bm won't consider it because (I am sure) she wants the money. She assumes my husband put his daughter up to this because of the cs, but he would never do that. BM travels half the month and leaves my sd with her husband. They do nothing for the kid. She sits in front of the television all week long. She's lonely and bored, but bm won't consider losing cs money. Now she's quit her job and stays at home on the cs check while I work. We are still in proceedings over the new cs but we know it will be increasing, just not how much.

Sometimes it's just really hard to feel so out of control. I feel like we are being punished and it's not fair. We take this kid everywhere and really enjoy being with her. Now we won't be able to afford to take her places, but her bm will have another new car and fake tan. I want to kick something. How do I resign myself to this?

I am curious. In the state of Illinois, cs is 28% for 2 children. We try very hard to make sure that everything gets paid on time. My husband had an accident this year and was out of work for over 6 months. During that time the company messed up the cs payments, besides the fact that he was down to 60% of his original salary. We had more than a difficult time trying to make ends meet, and pay the cs.

During this time the BM decided to go for an increase in cs. Since she did not fill out the paperwork properly, the court denied it.

But, now...because of all the problems with the cs and the job (the cs gets paid right from his paycheck), we are getting threatening letters from the cs agency saying pay up or lose your drivers license and any certifications you have have acquired.

We don't have the money. We can barely pay the bills. We have been in constant touch with the cs agency to make sure that they know we are trying...but now this???

I am overwhelmed and very upset. My husband and I are not bad people. We've just had a really hard time financially this year. Why are we made out to be the bad guys?

Another question that has been bothering me. CS is something that is supposed to HELP support the child, not totally support the child. So, my question here is this...does it take a normal family 56% of their income to raise 2 children? If so, then the 28% is justified...but, I find it hard to believe that it does.

So, what gives??? How can the situation be resolved. We want to help support the kids, after all, they are his...but shouldn't the residential parent have to kick in too?

Okay, enough venting for now....

we have 50/50 and the court has a formula they minus bm's income form bf's income and then rate his cs percentage from the difference. you might want to look into that in illinois and see if they have anything like that. before bf found a good attorney he was paying 17% ($1200/month for one child) 6 years ago, he now only pays 8.5% (approx. $386/month) after finding a great attorney.

My husband and BM have "equal" custody of SD. However, BM moved to another city and left SD with us 4 years ago. But, she won't sign a modification to the custody agreement, so the divorce order stands. Luckily, we don't pay CS, but we have the child more than 75 percent of the time so I feel BM should pay. In addition, we had to buy a bigger house (unless I wanted our bio-children to share a tiny room and SD to have her own room). So higher utilities, etc. Plus, we pay ALL of SD's medical bills, daycare expenses, activity fees, etc. What makes me even madder is that when BM has SD, she expects us to pay half of all expenses (acitivies, medical, etc.). Wish we could go after her for child support, but husband doesn't want to "rock the boat." Ugh.

hubby pays child support when we have the kids 49% of the time. we pay for all activities, sports, etc. we also buy them winter jackets, all their school clothes, decent shoes, backpacks, etc. cause she never provides these things for them. Yet, she is always asking for half whenever she might have to pay for something. it's insane! she claims she has no money, yet makes over $40k a year, plus child support, plus we also pay for half of all after school care. She is also ordered to have internet service at home cause we can't trust her on anything and have to have everything in writing. she got rid of her internet service at home cause she claims she can't afford it, yet spends $150/month to get her hair hightlighted (no man would want her anyway now that she is starting to show her age, badly I might add). nothing can be done about it- they say it's politically incorrect to say she can't "afford" something but she can say it all she wants! she had tried twice to get her child support modified so that she can get more money, and lost. This is a woman who goes and picks up the kids from day care on hubby's parenting days and then when he shows up, the kids are gone and he is forced to drive to her home to pick up the kids. still, it takes MONTHS for the courts to do anything about it. BUT, if she even mentions anything about her being wronged, a policeman is at our front door, questioning us, for the lies she has told them. hubby can't even go to pick up the kids at her house without me or another witness there for fear that she will falsey accuse him of "verbally" abusing her. she's a spoiled, rotten, vile woman and is jealous of our happy marriage and the relationship I have with my Skid's (her biological kids). hubby is the same way though- doesn't want to "rock the boat" for fear that she will try and keep us from seeing the kids. This power thing that she is enabled to have is disgusting. They are half his kids too- she does not own them!!! can you guess how frustrated I am???

what states you live in, but in wisconsin you can petition (not sure if this is the correct term) a mediation to determine if you can procede to a court hearing to change placement/cs. if you can do this where you all come from, erinjb1 should be able to lower cs and elizabeth should be able to get cs from bm.

My husband pays a ridiculous amount for child support. According to our lovely state, they say based on what he makes currently he should pay more. Well we have 3 together and 1 on the way- he has to make that much in order to support his other kids, pay the bills and pay the witch her money. She decided after she had her daughter that she was going to stay at home (she is remarried) so she can do all her activities with her friends during the day. Her daughter goes full time to pre school, so it is not like she is staying home to save on day care expenses. I can't afford day care for all of my children, so I am a stay at home mom. I think that the courts should take child support as a case by case basis, it should be calculated accordingly to the situations. and it should be adjusted down once the child is a teenager. Everything is so lop sided- and one parent ends up paying a lot more than the other. In our case we pay totally for our step son, she doesn't work (by choice), so she isn't contributing anything financially to their son.I feel that because of some dead beat parents the ones paying child support are paying through the nose. It would be totally different to pay a higher amount if the mother was a stay at home mother and has to go out and find a job,etc.. but this should only be for no longer than a year. I thought that is what alimony was originated for. it just seems like the courts have just gone the wrong way when deciding on financial issues.

Anyone have any difficulty getting the BF's cs order changed back to the original order (the original was about $80 per week)?

My husband of 2 years is paying 40% of his already meager salary (about $650) for support of one child, which means I have to pay about 85% of our bills. This, needless to say, sucks.

He agreed to this, because he owed some back child support (due to a low-paying job he had for a few years).
BUT - the BM agreed to this lowered amount at the time. And to top it off, the lazy sh*t hasn't worked for at least 6 years, and is not likely to get a job, nor does BF want her to get a job, due to the likelihood he'd have to pay 50% child care (that I guess I can agree with).

Basically she's just living off the men in her life, which my mother taught me was absolutely a no-no (I guess we're sort of feminists in that regard...I refuse to be supported by a man and will always work if I have the ability).

I have no prob with women who want to be full-time moms, but on the other hand I work with plenty of women who are great moms with multiple kids and work full or part-time. It just gets under my skin.

After we got married, BM had a new kid with her new husband, then got pissed off that we bought a pet (which my SK adores and which I freakin' paid for! jeez!), continued to call and yell at BF and finally out of exasperation he just told her to take him to court and be done with it. She wrote a completely nasty letter to the FOC saying that BF 'never' paid 'any' of the original order (completely untrue), and also that the child had 'autism' (it was actually diagnosis of Aspergers which one year later was changed to a diagnosis of ADHD.) I know Aspergers is technically a form of autism, but it still pissed me off that that was the terminology she chose to use.

I think it's disgusting that she used her own kid's health issues to make her appear to be some poor, tramped on ex-wife who has no other support.

When judge called her out on the back support owed, asking how many years he owed, she could not come up with a figure (thank God...) and he immediately shot her down, saying that if no figure was available and no evidence was available, then she couldn't claim that amount.
Is this generally true?

We are stuck with this stupid arrangement (which he now, duh, realizes was too much for him) for 2 more years.

The particular state I live in is notorious for being very difficult to have these orders changed, so I am freaking out even though it's 2 years away.
(I'm sure the BM will be thrilled to also learn we're considering buying a home soon, since the market is so geared to buyers where we are right now. I personally am terrified that she will not back down to the original amount in 2 years).

If I find out she hasn't saved a dime for her daughter's future educational needs, I am going to scream, but everytime the SK comes over they have new clothes, they go to an expensive salon, etc.

Just ranting, but anyone else scared of their own similar situation?