Ugh, I can't stand women who keep their husband's last name after a divorce. I know that some do it "for the children" but it really gets old quick. My mother switched back to her maiden name (which she hadn't used in over 25 years) when she divorced her last husband and it never caused any confusion. I would just tell my friends my mom was "Ms. Notmylastname" before they met her. They got the hint just fine and I never had anyone ask about it.

It doesn't make people feel bad if a person corrects them about their relationship status. I ran into a friend's now-former stepmom one day and she had no qualms about telling me that she and his dad had divorced. I said "Oh, sorry, I didn't know" and went on with the conversation. Made things a lot less awkward than if I had continued to think that they were still married only to find out later and felt stupid then.

Maybe tell her that some people have expressed confusion upon meeting you? Mention they were surprised when you told them that she and your DH have been divorced for six years and wondered why she didn't mention it? That's the most polite way I can think of to tell her "Hey, lady, you aren't his wife quit pretending that you are."

My guess is she is afraid of people gossiping or something. Yeah its aquward to have to keep telling people you got divorced, but she needs to put on her big girl panties and do it.

Now I can almost understand it if its some casual aquaintence that doesn't really know them anyways and was just making polite small talk. I def don't correct every random mom I chit chat with at the skids school that o am their step mom and not their real mom. Not that o am trying to claim them(as if anyone would want to) or pretend to be their mom....just that these women don't really care. They just recognize me as the lady that picks up ss and SD and they are making small talk.I'll talk to each one maybe twice a year so I don't even bother.

Echo has on point here. I struggled a lot with getting upset about things fdh's ex would do but this has taught me the very important rule of, "pick your battles." Unfortunately you cannot control what his ex does you can however choose to ignore her and look overly and also dramatically shocked when and if you're in the same area and she does it. It's a shame she can't let go...

I tell people all the time when they ask if I'm related to so and so (exh family) I'm his exwife, I have no problem being the ex wife and telling people we've been divorced for a couple years now and honestly she comes off looking like the crazy loser when they meet you and she hasn't "let it go" by now, people figure it out.

I still have my exH name, but I do tell people that we are divorced if the subject comes up. I have kept it out of sheer laziness I think, my BS's have the same name and it does make things easier. SO and I are engaged and when we get around to getting married I will take his name hence the laziness, if I changed it back to my maiden name I would only have to change it again when we get married and that means 2 trips to BDM (births deaths and marriages) to get the legal certificates for a name change.
My ExH hasnt remarried yet but he is seeing someone. They havent mentioned marriage but if they do and they get married before SO and I do I would probably think about changing it back to my maiden name out of respect for their new beginning (so to speak), certainly dont want any confusion about who is married to whom no matter how good a relationship we all have lol.

My Ex is the first to correct people when they call me by his last name. He even says "she's not a *HIS LAST NAME* anymore, she got smart and traded me in for a *MY NEW LAST NAME*". He's a pretty decent dude though.

If anyone else calls me by ex's last name, I then refer to my husband as Mr X's last name... I get the strangest looks.

My husbands ex still uses his name after 3 years... and she's even remarried to another guy.