You are here

Who decides?

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 4:18pm

This question is kind of for a specific group of moms on here. How much say do you give your DH in matters regarding your bios and visitation with their father? That being said, I should point out that I have a MAJOR say in all matters regarding SS.

Background: I currently have a preliminary protective order against my children's father. He got abusive recently and now I am going through Hell. My husband is very protective and I know he is going to throw up a big NO in this proposed settlement. What is proposed is that if I drop the case against him- my ex will not be able to contact me unless it is direct relation to the children. He will not be allowed to use abusive language, behavior, or actions toward me or the kids. My parents will facilitate pick ups and drop offs. He must take them (on time and the must stay for the duration) to extra curricular activities. The flip is now he wants them for one night a week for dinner.

This makes my life much more difficult as now I will have to go to my parents to pick them up and basically screw up my night. I don't allow SS to see his mom on school nights. It is disruptive to our schedule and I REALLY don't want to do it. I have to decide soon, the hearing for the final protective order is tomorrow. I am just at a loss...

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 5:26pm

DH has as much say with my girls as I have with SS. In that everything we do is a joint desicion. HOWEVER, my girls and SS are on the same custody schedule, so there really is no room for change. When SS is at BM's the girls are at their dads. And DH and I are FREEEE.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 6:02pm

The only problem with going through with the protective order would mean he would be kicked out of the military. Not to be all about $, but that would mean the end to CS as well, and I do actually need that. Also, It is not a true protective order because he would still be able to contact and be around me when it comes to the kids. It is a really F'ed up situation. My lawyer came up with most of this proposed order about restrictive contact and behavior because that is basically what the protective order would say anyway.

I talked to DH an he did say hell no to the weeknight visitation, and that is really how I feel about it too... So I am going to say no to that and if he doesn't agree I am going through with the order.

Thanks ladies!