HOW DO I STOP THIS NIGHTMARE

my 13 year old stepson continusly calls me a cunt a stupid bitch and then his dad takes him shopping at the mall the same day how do i get it across this child's mind that he shouldnt talk to me this way he has set a matress on fire stabbed holes in tha walls with swords i have penises drawn on my walls of my house found used condoms next to my daughters bed (his baby sister) i have no idea how to deal with this it is realy messing up the relationship with the father and i donbt know what to do i cant have my daughter around this i have no answers on wat to say or do it happens way to often he is using the excuse to go live with his grandma if he dont get his way at home and when she says no he comes home and gets his way when i asked him when grandma says no and dad says no what happens then he said he would go to his mothers this women left hgim and his brother for a guy over the internet that she knew for 2 days

HELP WHAT IS THE ANSWER

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It sounds to me like your DH

It sounds to me like your DH is allowing this child to disrespect you in a horrible way. I wouldn't stay with a man who allowed ANYONE to treat me that way...much less his own son!

What does your DH do when these things happen? A condom in a babies room??? Really? GROSS! How did your DH handle that one??

oh i was over reacting when i

oh i was over reacting when i wouldnt let the child have 15 teenagers ranging from 11-19 stay the night he is 13

that is always on my mind i

that is always on my mind i do love this guy if i didnt i wouldnt have stayed this long i fear for his little brother as well my options are slim to none to go some were i have left before he has followed and draged me back or pulled his sweet self and i always fall for that its hard to understand what is going on cause im scared he is going to burn the house down with the kids in it and he throws it in his dads face that he will go to his moms im bought ready to say send his ass to juvinile hall and leave for a weekend or longer i dont know what else to do

And you had a baby with him.

And you had a baby with him. :sick:

it would be up to the father

it would be up to the father not the son and the father is going to do what he always does probly and just tellhim not to do it again he EX: when i tell his youngest son the nine year he cant play on the computer after school cause he wants topee his pants and not pause the game so he stands there and pees no im being to mean when i tell him he cant play the oldest son he runs the house basically he says daddy does it i have no idea how that got reveresd but there is still holes in the walls broken windows guatairs being thrown out the window and new one bought the next day this child has a 1988 jaguar 12 cylinder a phone and i dont even have a phone cause he had to trough a fit when i tried to get one

Seriously no one would be

Seriously no one would be stupid enough to stay in such an environment.

seriously i have not leaveing

seriously i have not leaveing a child to defend for himself the nine year old has issues but they arent his fault

Is this even English? What

Is this even English? What are you trying to say?

im saying there are three

im saying there are three kids i have been raising for 5 years and i had one child two years into the relationship and the others where from befor but i have raised them and im not leaving the nine year old to fend for him self with the people he has

That is an excuse. You said

That is an excuse. You said you left before.
You call CPS and report abuse. Then you protect your child. And yourself. Or YOU could lose YOUR child.

This is a completely out of

This is a completely out of control - angry teen. YOu and your daughter can't be around this. His father and his grandma and his mother - one of them or all of them or 2 of them need to take him to a "crisis" center for teens. This young man is headed down an awful road of violence that could end up resulting in pain inflicted on all around him. He needs help. You can't give it. You have been disempowered by the other adults around you - he doesn't respect you becuz someone has taught him not to respect you. There may be a tension between the two of you - but you are just not in any position to help. I worked with teens like this and what you said scares me. I had a teen at the center I worked at burn his own house down.

Give the dad a week to get him into a crisis center for teens - you may want to call the police next time anything violent happens if the father won't do anything sufficient.

Otherwise your choice is the kids goes to "crisis center" or you pack up and leave with your daughter & tell your husband you will come back once he fixes the situation & gets this kid HELP.

So sorry!!!!

Glad to oblige. This tale

Glad to oblige. This tale just as too many details - every bad thing possible is included. I get skeptical.

What is the answer?? You

What is the answer??

You choose a better father for your own child.

SMH. WHY, oh WHY, did you procreate with this man???

The problem is NOT your SS, although that's the easy answer. The problem is that your BF/SO/DH/baby daddy is a terrible father.

Honey, don't worry. In about

Honey, don't worry. In about 5 yrs he will be in prison or dead. By then your daughter will probably be raped by your s/son or one of his friends. The 9 yr old will be as crazy as his brother or will develop some serious emotional issues and probably kill himself.

Your BF has no clue how to parent and is using the easiest model out there... letting them raise themselves. How many Parent/Teacher conferences has he been to? How often does he take the kids to the Dr for an annual check up? Does he have a plan for their future or desires or dreams for his sons to solve world hunger or join the military? Or is he letting them free range raise themselves?

This manchild has left used condoms by your daughter bed. This is frankly a HUGE threat. And that would have been the day I walked out forever and disappeared off the grid.

There is nothing you can do but leave. The 9 yr old who pees his pants is a lost cause. My YSS did this ONCE and lost his game privileges for 3 months. No games and he had to watch whatever we were watching on TV. And if it was FoxNews, so be it.So your BF rewarding these boys anti-social bad behaviour only allows them to continue.

So your choice is ... call a Women's Refuge and leave forever and never contact him again and raise your daughter in a safe environment or ... stay where you are, allow the disrespect to continue, witness your daughter doing the same thing and being raped or taking part in sexual activity when she is about 11 1/2. What makes you think she will follow your parenting when she sees her half brothers behaving like criminals and getting rewarded? Seriously?

If I were you I would wait until they are all out and call a Women's Refuge. Leave and never look back. And report what is going on to CPS.