Skateboard-Dad55's picture

I can't stand my girlfriends daughter!

My girlfriend and I moved in together about a year ago. The reason we made this move was because we were having a child together. Nearly a year has gone by and I truly regret this decision. The problem is is that her 5 year old daughter is an emotional wreck. When I try to say something to my girlfriend about her, we usually end up in a fight which turns pretty ugly. Now I'm to the point of where I truly want them to move out, but at the same time I don't want to lose seeing my son we have together on a full time basis. Her daughter has definitely hurt our relationship, but my girlfriend seems to think its my fault sometimes that I have never put forth the effort. I don't know what to do, should I start to lawyer up if she threatens taking my son away from me like she has done in previous arguments regarding her daughters behavior.? This situation I'm living in has made me more miserable than when I was out to sea for 6 to 8 months at a time.


sc12's picture

Not sure what the behavior is

Not sure what the behavior is exactly that your sd has been doing but if she is anything like my ss you need to be patient. living in a broken home is very difficult for a child. especially if birth dad is not around and she is well aware of it. Girls are emotional in any aspect. especially when their bodies are going through their changes. she does seem a little young to be going through that but with how many hormones and steroid they put in food today they start these changes early. Chicken is really really bad about that. if you want to stay then try doing activities with her, like play-doe, going to a park or zoo, i make homemade ice cream with mine using baggies (it helps keep them occupied for a while and gets them excited/happy about something), make homemade glow sticks with peroxide and mountain dew, something girls like this stuff to alot. if you want to leave then leave and get a lawyer (broken homes are hard on everyone but whats worse is a home where no one wants to be there). you girlfriend probably says that stuff while your fighting to hurt you. She knows your weakness and she will use it in a fight to hurt you and not really mean it.

Debz71's picture

It happens the other way

It happens the other way round also - I am a SM and my SD father has been the same way for years! finally now she is 8 and he cant excuse her behaviour due to her age anymore he is stepping up - But its been hell and the older they get the worse the problem gets. There is no point arguing over the same old ground you need to take control set out what you se as acceptable etc- and as was said to me, be prepared to walk away and make this very clear unless it changes. It will end up having an adverse affect on your son also and your girlfriend is currently putting her D needs above everyone else's. Children need discipline and clear rules, boundaries etc that you BOTH have discussed and agreed on, end off!

Good Luck.

Orange County Ca's picture

Get counseling from someone

Get counseling from someone who specializes in step-parenting if possible and marriage as a second choice. Make sure your wife understand that you're intent is to discover what you are doing wrong as well as help in parenting for both of you. Regardless of how that goes read and implement this now:

http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html