I just need to know because as always when SD is here there is tension (see previous post).

I have issues with my back. Had surgery...still having issues. I live with pain, done all the treatment options available short of having surgery again and I am fearful of that as it didn't work first go 'round.

SD is here, doing much of nothing as always.

I am down with my back after getting out and trying to entertain DD and a friend visiting Saturdady. It was also the beginning of a flare up. I did not want SD to be in my face looking crazy as I was literally unable to get out of the car when we returned from an outing and I just cannot stand the smug look that is always on her face. I did not want DD in my face either because she has seen me incapacitated and gets scared. I told them to go on ahead and I'd be in shortly. DH had to get me out of the car and help me into the house. I tried my best to dry my tears once we got me moving to let DD and friend see that I was okay. Did it!

Got in and removed my clothes and DD and friend came in to check on me. DH came in a few times to check but was down with SD most of the evening and until bed.

With these flare ups I need assistance to use the bathroom, turn over in bed, sit down and get up.

Morning comes...no DH after he got out of bed. Later, he comes in to see how I'm feeling. I told him I hadn't moved so I wasn't sure how it was going to go. He says he'll be right back to see about getting me up. Okay I say. Then...nothing...for hours...!

I finally get up on my own, make it to our bathroom, and get back to leaning on bed...can't quite get up on to it yet. I take my time and get back in bed.

I could have yelled downstairs in hopes that only he would hear me, the last thing I wanted was DD to hear me yelling and then here she comes to the rescue but she cannot lift me if I get stuck. I did not yell at all also because I thought that at any minute DH would come check on me.

Well, he didn't.

So, as I am now downstairs moving around a bit and trying to make coffee what is DH doing? Sitting down playing solitaire on laptop while SD watches tv. I asked, what happened to you coming back. He looks blank and says I was coming. I say, okay and go back upstairs.

I am so pissed because this is the second time I have been down or ill and SD is visiting and I am put off or ignored. The most recent time before this he HAD to take her to a water park while I was home sick with bronchitis. HAD to because it was the last weekend he would have last summer and he hadn't taken her before then. I was livid...sick as a dog but he HAD to take her to the water park that day. They'd been swimming all summer in our pool, the two of them had gone to Disney a couple months before. Every weekend she is here we are either at a mall, at a movie, at a park, skating at a rink...on and on.

Am I expecting and asking too much for him to actually attend to me when I am down and she happens to be here? Why can he not take her home early or at least get her to understand he needs to be close by when I am sick? He says he needs to spend time with her alone at some point when she is here, I get that and he does spend quite a bit of time alone when she is here because unless we are out doing stuff for those three days I am in our room or engaged with my DD.

What am I missing because I am so resentful of this girl being her period or I am too close to see the forrest for the trees?

He feels he has to almost ignore me and DD when she is here to make up for time lost with the SD. I understand that on one hand but on the other, it pisses me off. No one in the house wants to be around her except him so he has to split time when she is here. When I am well, I can go along because I keep myself and DD busy doing whatever we do. But when I am sick, should that matter or should he be attentive to me or should I just suck it up and do for myself?

I would like a man's POV but welcome any insight from the ladies as well.