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BM is telling SS8 that this is "his" house, but not mine?

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

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OK. Just realized another "no-no." BM WALKED IN MY HOME with SS8 and got "upset" because my DH blocked her at the front door. She is USING this kid to get in the house now? I heard her say, "wellllll, this IS his home too." This being in regards to MY house. Hello? BM? This is OUR house? IF DH were to pass away, it would be MINE. My state gives a widow a thing called a HOMESTEAD. Thank god. This crazy woman seems to think that this home, is going to be her kid's home? What??? I've NEVER heard her say that this is butterfly's house, one time. And, by the way, SS8 is with you and sugarstepdaddy fulltime. Yes, SS8 is always welcome here with proper notice or an emergency BUT, BM does not need to make this child even think that this is HIS house, and NOT mine? No wonder he talks about his mommy here all the time lately. How can I talk to my DH about all of this? There is BS1 here too, all the time?

Do we need a will together?

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

DH even put up " NO TRESPASSING" signs and she still just waddled right up and in... DH had to STAND in the doorway. She makes it so hard on all of us acting this way BUT this is a HOMESTEAD. Perhaps I should "link" her up via email in regards to this law, in casual? }:)

dontcallmestepmom's picture

Waddled. Sorry, that made me laugh. Good Lord. THIS is what I would be dealing with if DH's kids were young, which is why I am so grateful I met him when they were older. BM was bad when they were teens, but now she cannot do anything. I commend you for not freaking out. I would have DH discuss this with her, bc you do not want to wind up with her emailing you nasty stuff back.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

I have a will for this reason, and more. My DH and I do not have much. If I can ever get my career rolling (I have a Master's, but the job market here is horrendous), we will have a little more some day. We will never be rich, but we will be comfortable and there is no way in hell my DH's kids are getting anything, when they do not work and treat us so badly.

The kids are young adults, and they have already told me this is technically their house, bc DH is their blood. They are so nasty, that they would try throwing me out, I am sure. I had to protect myself.

There are stories of decent skids on here who turned evil when their parent died, and tried taking from their step-parent. It can get so ugly. I have seen it happen-used to work in assisted living and wow, did it get nasty with families. SO SAD.

My dad and stepmom own a home together, and her daughter has mentioned how much she wants the house. I told my dad to be very very careful. I am still not sure if he has protected himself, bc he does not think she would do anything. HELLO? She has said more than once how much she would like to move in. And Mommy is still paying her bills-she is 34.

Your SS is learning, through BM, that Daddy's stuff is essentially his stuff. This is how our BM raised the kids. It is almost like my DH is not a human to them, just a wallet and the schmuck that supported them all for years.

I would sit down with your DH and discuss a will. It is not easy to talk about, but you have to. You have you and your BS to think about. My DH was fine with it, BUT he thinks I am over-reacting. Well, he thought that, until the lawyer told him I was smart. DH knows how his kids are, but he never thought they could throw me out. The lawyer said it can and does happen. Your DH may think you are being too cautious, but I think he will understand.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

OMG. IF I died FIRST? I've GOT to do something for my kids, right?! Haven't even thought of these things. I PAY bills here and my two boys are entitled to 1/3 each, right? Three kids total ages 1, 8, 21 years. The eldest and youngest are mine. I'm also supposed to be getting my dad's things too who died in 04'. Lots of antiques, etc. Do NOT want BM's hands or even SS8's hands on my families heirlooms. Help? I'm freaking out now. :O

WTHDISUF's picture

Lord get a Will quick! The Wildebeest (what I call BM) thought that SHE should remain the beneficiary of DH's 6 figure retirement fund AFTER their divorce because of her kid. We combined accounts and mine added pretty good to the account and of course I made sure it was changed. If something happens to DH, I'll set up a trust of 25% of it for the boy for his future but that's it. Our house is OUR house.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Yes, I can download the forms myself and we will fill them out and take them in to the courthouse for filing. I don't know where my mind has been lately except for work and taking care of a very active toddler.

Butterflykissesandlicks's picture

Well, technically I have two of the three boys here SO it would be a 1/3 a piece and in no way shall SS8 or his freaking mom ever touch BS1's inheritance or trust. Life insurance is in tact though.