im angry
He has his kid every other weekend and they alternate major holidays yearly. This year its his year with the kid inb halloween.....and also he has the child this weekend. So he tells me he will be picking her up from school and then he will take her trick or treating at dark. I was at work all day friday got home at 11pm. I asked how it went, I guess his own mom went too, and to see pics. He told me they went trick or treating around his bosses house/neighborhood. For some reason that didnt sit right with me because he lied to me in the past about some things and always involved his bosses house in the story/lie. Sure enough I end up seeing pics of the child and bm in costumes together on facebook.....so I put 2 and 2 together. So I ask his child sabrina....where did u go trick or treating? And she says my moms house. She is 9yrsold. I confront him about his lie.....and he says....oh well she texted me and wanted pics in costumes....so we stopped over there last for 5minutes.
I dont believe any of it they probably went trick or treating together or who knows what. I was working and I never know about anything. And its him, and his mom, and his exwife and daughter.......all a happy family together. I dont trust him at all. I ask myself constantly why am i here or involved in this disrespectful horrid "relationship". And we are engaged!
He lied to you to spend time
He lied to you to spend time with another woman... A woman he used to sleep with no less. There are soo many red flags. If this is the lovey dovey engagement phase - how much worse would it be if you married him? How would you ever be able to trust him? You deserve so much better.
Do you think he's banging her
Do you think he's banging her between houses? Then it really doesn't matter. Seriously. The lying is an issue, sure. But if he went trick or treating with the skid and bm it really doesn't matter. Trust me, I used to be like you. Then I got asked to start going with dh on the Halloween rounds. Let me tell you, I wish he'd take bm with them and let me stay home!
My first post is to thank you
My first post is to thank you for this! I read the article you posted and it also struck a chord with me. A life-changing chord. Thank you!
Its unacceptable. And using a
Its unacceptable. And using a child as a scapegoat is disgusting. Point blank. I wish I never met the s.o.b. and I do whole heartedly believe ive been manipulated into this relationship. Lies after lies after lies from him. I gave the engagement ring back to him. And im moving out this week. He can think about what his priorities are now and what the meaning of respect is....and he can spend as much time as he wants kissing bm a$$....hell maybe even manipulate his way into having a 3sum/swinger type relationship with her and her fiance too. Im gone
You have no idea how relieved
You have no idea how relieved and happy this message made me! You're amazing for having the courage to leave the relationship!! It took me 16 months of marriage to realise that I couldn't take the manipulation, skid dynamic or the lack of trust - I was miserable!
I've been separated for 7 months now and my husband is begging for forgiveness and to change, etc, but nothing is worth the risk of me going back into that toxic environment and being miserable again.
So, congratulations for leaving! I wish you all the best!!
How or why people ignore or
How or why people ignore or tolerate lies and manipulations is beyond my ability to comprehend. Were I you this guy, his spawn. and fuck buddy XW would be long gone from my life.
"I don't trust him at all."
"I don't trust him at all."
If you've reached this point, then clearly he has done thinvs to erode the trust you once had. It's impossible to have meaningful relationship/marriage with a man you no longer trust.
Engagements are easier to get
Engagements are easier to get out of than marriages.
I'm sorry you are going
I'm sorry you are going through this. Why can't these men just man up, and tell the truth? "White lies" the are the worst! Esp when they keep adding up.
This shouldn't have happened
This shouldn't have happened at all. And if future MIL is in on it and possibly encourageing the "United Front" then you should get out right now. If he's done this before, and now is working with his family to lie and see another woman behind your back, it will happen again.