KARMA!

toywas's picture

WTH DH?!

The other day (talk about short-ass notice) DH received an email from SS45 regarding his daughter (DH’s GD) making her first Communion this Sunday and then a celebration lunch at a local restaurant afterwards. I was not invited (I read the email.) When DH asked if I would go with him, I said no, since I was not invited and second, I really did not want to go and spend my only day off listening to the Golden Egg. His response was “you’re my wife!” I kindly reminded him that I am not treated like his wife whenever his kids are concerned, and again, I will not be attending!

On that note - I am so looking forward to this weekend – 2 days of “ME” time UNTIL 30 minutes ago when DH informed me that he was NOT going to his GDs communion on Sunday because HE did NOT want to go alone! I told him I could relate - I am always alone whenever his kids are around. I reminded him that I was not invited, but he’s still not going. WTH?! Is DH trying to prove something to me or them after all these years? Why would DH want me to go when he had written proof that I was not invited simply because the Golden Egg was going to be there? Or did he just figure out (like past events) that DH gets footed with the bill ($300-$400)at the last second?

Or could it be that it has something to do with the invitation to attend MY oldest son’s graduation from college next week, and DH knows my ex is going to be there?! Talk about karma!!!

There went my quiet ME time out the window! Another event I will get blamed for ...

Thanks for letting me vent!

Accordn2L's picture

Reading this story scares me because my SD8 already commands full attention and I have hoped and prayed as she gets older it will get better. But your SS is 45 and you are STILL dealing with the bullsh*t. Why did they not invite you? Because the BM will be there? Or just out of spite? I think even if you do not chose to go to the even for the granddaughter, your DH should go because that is just the right thing to do. I am sure you are going to go to your oldest son's college graduation whether or not DH attends.

toywas's picture

It's a guarantee that I will be there for my son's graduation whether DH is there or not!!! And I really don't care if my ex is there. Yes I am still dealing with this BS - I have 6 golden eggs ages range from 28-45. I was not invited because the ex-wife was going to be there. I just sent DH an email asking him to change his mind and to go the communion despite my non-invite; I am really hoping he changes his mind.

Like I said, if he doesn't go, it's just another event I get blamed for and who is going to pay for the tab???

Accordn2L's picture

Were they young when you married DH or already into adulthood? If they were young, do you wish you had walked away then? Are you biological children nice to your DH?

toywas's picture

DH's 6 kids were adults when we married. My 3 adults kids (2 are in the military) will not come home for visits when they know in advance that DH kids are here; they saw the writing on the wall way longer before I did.

Accordn2L's picture

I'm scared that my daughter 11 will distance herself from my home if SD8 is going to be there as they get older. She can barely stand SD8 now but I really can't either! She loves my SO and they bonded right away and are both really into sports and he always comes with me to her sporting events and cheers just as loudly as I do. It's such a shame that SO can't see how rotten his kid is when she just like any child has potential to be a good kid and be part of the family we have created.

toywas's picture

Yes DH was invited to my son's graduation. And thank you for the words of wisdom - yes DH has been spineless for many years re: his wonderful sperm count. I already told DH that I was planning on being gone for 4 days if he wasn't planning on going - I want to visit friends, shopping, being in a new neighborhood is somewhat scary and exciting (that's my mood!)

toywas's picture

Karma is a bitch!!!

When SS40 got married this past June, DH got handed the bill of 1/2 of the wedding rehearsal - EVERYONE FROM THE WEDDING WENT TO THE REHEARSAL because SS40 wanted everyone to be there. So glad I wasn't there - I was home 2000 miles away bringing home my new puppy (I have my priorities straight!) and I definitely would have told someone off! That's just me!

toywas's picture

Yes he did! And apparently have the ExWife the other half of the bill. It must be in the golden eggs mentality to NOT EVEN ASK FIRST, especially when DH drove 900 miles. If I would have known beforehand that we were getting stuck with the rehearsal dinner bill, that would have been that little f**ker's wedding gift from us!

I think this is why I'm not invited - I speak up when the bill is handed to DH - after all, that's MY money too!

sandye21's picture

"Another event I will get blamed for ..." You weren't invited, therefore you were excluded you from taking any part in the ceremony. It would be rude to go where you are not invited, right? It was DH's choice to go or not. Go out, have a special day and have a ball. Plain and simple: Tell DH you do not accept any blame - end of discussion.

thinkthrice's picture

You should STILL go ahead with your ME time. I love that you gave it right back to spineless DH by saying that you were alone all these years when his "golden eggs" were around.

BTW, LOVE the term "golden egg" BWA HA HA HA!

toywas's picture

I thought about this and I think you're right. I should not have to be at a family function, especially one that I am not invited to, for him to attend. He probably knows he's going to get stuck with the bill. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be blamed that he's not going; who knows - he might change his mind.

Doesn't every kid dream of having a family picture of their divorced parents?

Barf!

toywas's picture

I agree lovn - he does need to start reaping what he has sown. We are NOT one big happy family; I'm done living that fantasy and I am done being nice. After all, I'm only the "second" wife.

toywas's picture

Cat, DH must be dense, ignorant, stupid (or all 3) whenever his golden eggs are involved. When they're not here, he's a very good husband and friend. I really wish I had a crystal ball before I said "I do"; I would have run so damn fast ...