I am a bit confused.. the kids filed a court motion? If it was the EX...why hate the kids for what their mom did at that point. I get things may have happened later... but at that point in time, disavowing his kids if their mom filed something?

why would there have been a court motion for college aged kids? wouldn't the CO have been set at that point? It's not like they would be residing with you.. who would care if you hurt their fee fees.

Tell him while you support his relationship with his children, you are not a doormat to be walked all over. He can make you the bad guy all he wants, but they did not sincerely apologize nor did your DH address the issue. Since you are aware that your DH does not have your back as his wife, you are not traveling with him just so he has a travel companion. Otherwise, you are just signing up for more of the same.

((HUGS))
I am sorry.

Your DH is such a jerk - but there's nothing new in that.

Just look him in the eye and tell him that you will NOT FILTER ONE WORD that you say to those two bitches - so does he REALLY want you to be there.

That's basically what I told my DH. I said I would hold nothing back if I had to be around SS32 and his GF (the ones who camped out in our home, ransacked our belongings, etc.). I just told him to KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME. Or nothing was off limits in what I would say to them.

I have not screamed to the world (except here) about what an utter POS SS is. I am trying not to humiliate my DH. But that would be off the table if SS were allowed near me.

It is very simple, tell him you are not going and do not get on the plane. Tell him you do not want to be with his rude, entitled kids. Do what YOU want for YOU. You do not live for him or the abuse he has allowed from his kids. Stay away from it at all costs... You are better off alone than being abused in the name of "love" or "it means the world to me" either one.

Hugs to you!

What an awful pain your husband is being!

I would be tempted to book myself into a nice hotel in their city, complete with a spa package, and treat it as a vacation, refusing to see his kids because I had so much to do. But then again, my SO would never make me visit with people so horrific.

wedding anniversaries can be miserable with skids. on our twentieth anniversaty which should have been a milestone, dh bought me less than 200 dollars in trinket while given sd five hundred dollars so she could buy sports equipment. i guess he wanted the ski instructor to take an interest in his daughter. she comes across as very needy and cant seem to hang on to a man beyond a few dates.

needless to say i was very angry and spoke my mind. how dare this man go cheap on me on a milestone anniversary.

all of the skids btw have said they want dh and i to get a divorce. no doubt so daddeeee can spend the money on them.

i never ends. one of the skids talks to dh by phone at least two times a day and they all constantly text him about the most mundane things. they are all adults.

What's your DH thinking trying to force you and his daughters on each other :? They made their feeling known. He's not only disrespecting you but them also. It sounds like he doesn't want to be alone w/them and deal w/them on his own. If he's used you as a buffer, the person he's *protecting* his daughters from and bonding with them over how evil you are then how ever will he relate to them w/out you there?

ss32 and DH got real close after we married because I allegedly *hated* his son and *stole* ss's father away. I finally took myself out of their dynamic and now that they don't have me to bond over they have very little contact. It's like they don't know how to relate unless DH is doling out money or a common enemy (evil SM) is involved.

This is exactly where I am. And the therapist Dh selected agreed with my position.
You make me talk to them, lord's knows what I will say.
Just let us coexist separately and learn to deal with that since your actions dh created this mess.

You could always go on the plane and go off and have fun by yourself while he spends time with his kids. Look to see what the place you are visiting has to offer. Shopping, a spa day, etc. Treat yourself. Let him spend the days with his kids and have dinner and spend the night with you. That would be a win-win. You are his wife and if he loves you why would he want to torture you by spending time with his kids who would make you feel uncomfortable?
Don't let that plane ticket go to waste. Go off and have your own adventure!

Have you had any interaction with these steps since your wedding day? If not, why would you start? Why would he even think you would want to? You don't fly half way across the country to meet strangers that have no interest in knowing you.

What the heck???? :?

"Telling me to get over it. It was years ago."

Your dh acts like nothing ever even happened. Why is it that a stepmom is supposed to PROVE she forgives the skids?

I have been told myself to be the bigger person, get over it, water off a ducks back, etc

What I have found is everyone acts like nothing happened but you will find yourself in the wash, rinse, and REPEAT cycle of step-hell.

The skids need to PROVE they are sorry, not YOU prove you forgive them!