Help! - The Twit situation is taking a very interesting turn. DH doesn't know what to do.
As you know I put my foot down about us being used by Twit for dog sitting etc. and you are aware of the reasons.
Seems DH is upset because Twit has insinuated that she doesn't know what she will do if he doesn't take care of her dogs so she and her hubby can get away for a week. By this I mean she seems to have given him the idea that she might do something drastic because she just NEEDS TO GET AWAY!
This has put a whole different look on what is going on. I asked DH if she actually said she was going to do something and he said not directly, but he got the impression, he says. Now he is very much in a turmoil.
Sure, it could just be talk, which I think and whole-heartedly believe it is, knowing Twit, but DH says what if it isn't. And that is DH's concern.
I want to be clear here that from what DH says, Twit hasn't actually come out directly and said she would do something to herself, it is more like insinuating. IMHO like little children do when the cry about how they are going to hold their breath until they die if they don't get their way.
I called a hotline and asked explained the situation and asked questions. Of course, no one knows, but they say to take it as serious and try to get them help, as, from what I described about Drunkie, Twit has been under a lot of stress; but then they say in this case it sounds manipulative.
DH is besides himself because, well, because.
Now what? I certainly don't want to give in and have this ploy played on us everytime Twit wants something, because that is what I feel it is....a ploy because she isn't getting her way.
I am trying to get ahold of
I am trying to get ahold of Twit's hubby to find out what is really going on. So far no luck as he is at work.
Before all this Twit stuff is over I am the one who is going to be hospitalized, with a heart attack or stroke unless DH beats me to it because he is quite concerned etc.
Catmom - I can't believe she
Catmom - I can't believe she is ding this either. But crazy is .... crazy. Who the hell (forgive me for that) knows what is going on in her mind.
i would also call the
i would also call the authorities. call her bluff. if she is faking she will feel like an idiot talking to a police officer or psychiatrist.
"Something" could mean she'll
"Something" could mean she'll take the dogs to the county shelter. That's worse than her suicide in my opinion. Anyway she's going to kill herself if she doesn't get away for a weeks vacation? Anybody would believe that is incredibly naïve.
Seriously do what 'Just Wow' said above and call the police anonymously and say that you think your next door neighbor is contemplating suicide and somebody should do something, give them the address and hang up. Use a pay phone if you can find one.
They cost a dime to use,
They cost a dime to use, right?
OC, I agree about the dogs.
OC, I agree about the dogs. And I agree with your opinion on which one is worse, but Lord forgive me for saying that as I wish ill on no one. Wishing ill only comes back to bite one in the butt.
SDM, you know it, I know it
SDM, you know it, I know it and everyone here knows it. It's not even about the pooches, it's about LOSING CONTROL. She feels her power over daddy slipping away and there are no murky depths to which she will not sink. Have your spoken to DH logically about this? This is the tester. It's a one on one power struggle with YOU. She will no more kill herself than George Clooney will come banging on my door for a date.
And just to add - she is
And just to add - she is still managing to embroil you in her drama. If she wins this one, it will never end.
Oops! someone's knocking on
Oops! someone's knocking on the door.....
Personally, I think your DH
Personally, I think your DH wants you to believe that he believes that Twit means something drastic.
Hereiam may have a point and
Hereiam may have a point and if that's the case DH isn't on your page.
My DH already knows I will do
My DH already knows I will do something drastic in this dog sitting situation.....throw him OUT.
^^^ This will solve
^^^ This will solve everything! It's a free vacation! ^^^
Yep, you are soooo right.
Yep, you are soooo right. The perfect getaway for Twit.
I once paid $45 to make a
I once paid $45 to make a collect call from a pay phone in a remote part of Canada. The charges were right up front, it wasn't a scam, it was just remote and obviously no cell service. It was worth it to let the wife know I was OK.
Anyway women rarely actually try/succeed at suicide. It's the drama and getting their way. However one poor middle aged lovelorn woman used a .357 Magnum Pistol (BIG) and shot herself in a park about a block from my home and perhaps a 100 feet from a playground with a family or two playing in it. It does happen but she was long known as insane and should have been institutionalized.
Thanks for the references
Thanks for the references there OC. We need all the help in dealing with this we can get. I've been looking up the subject and DH and I have been reading what we find.
We are lay people in this and, well, one never knows. Forgive me for saying this, but I think women can distinguish manipulation, drama, much better than men can.
Hi guys and thanks mega for
Hi guys and thanks mega for your support and concern, I'm gonna need strong shoulders through all this latest Twit carp. I did call the police and asked them to check on Twit. DH was very glad I did that because, well, he was pretty shook up from whatever it was that she told him.
I hear she was okay and out watering her plants when they came by. Claimed not to have had a clue as to why someone, any one would call the police on/about her.
I called from my cell phone, hey, concerned parents (at least DH is), upset at what he was told. Police were very nice and understanding and did get back to us. As the one officer says, better to check than not.
FWIW, NOW Twit knows that I/we will call for assistance if she pulls carp like this again. AND, as the call to the officers can be tracked on scanners (and they love those in this area) a lot of her neighbors, and pot and pan clients probably heard the call and it will also be in the police report section of the paper later this week.
Honestly, I am just throwing up my hands with this one. How low can one go, and how manipulative. I don't know what we are going to do now.
Once she gets her way, it will never, ever end. You can't reason or deal with crazy. This is the kind of person that, if you were hurt by something she did to you and tried to talk it out with her and tell her the actions hurt you, would yell at you, start crying and scream she never wanted anything to do with you again. A NORMAL person would express concern that they had done something to hurt you, would apologize and try to fix things. This reaction I know from first hand experience with her.
Oh, I would have LOVED to be
Oh, I would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall when the COPS came. LOL LOL If I were you I'd start documenting her behavior, including recording her conversations on the phone so you have proof to back you up next time you have to call the COPS. Tell her you will be recording all conversations because you are concerned for her mental health. This will put her on notice. As another poster pointed out, if she does or doesn't commit suicide there is very little you can do anyway.
I had an adopted Daughter who kept me hostage for by threatening to commit suicide for anything I did that she didn't like or to get herself out of trouble. That was 28 - 30 years ago. She still very much alive and still does this to other people who don't know her very well.
DH is going to drive down and
DH is going to drive down and visit with her after dinner, I guess.
Got ahold of her hubby and he says things are fine. Didn't know what I was talking about at first. He was there when the police checked on things.
Bummer, Twit calls, causes havoc, we REact on what she tells DH, call police, they check and find everything there is normal. I would feel we look crazy, but the officer who called me back told me that they get calls like this occasionally and it is better to check out the situation than not.
Hi beaccountable - so right
Hi beaccountable - so right on about calling. I asked the police about a hold etc. Since there was no indication of a problem and she seemed normal to them, there is nothing they can do at this point. They did talk to her for awhile though, to get a feel on things, they said.
Wasn't afraid to use my own phone to call the police. Hey, I want her to know that I will call for help if she pulls this nonsense.
I am certain that DH is going to get an earful from her about calling the police when he gets down there. I am almost tempted to go just to hear what she has to say, to explain, and if she flies off the deep end (which in my humble opinion, is not far) at DH, what he has to say to her.
And of course, she can get away shoveling out more carp to him than if she sees me with him because I call her on it.
Have to think about that.
Oh Cat, I think he would have
Oh Cat, I think he would have caved if I hadn't talked to him about it, and taken steps. But then who knows how I would have reacted if it was my DD doing carp like this.
As I told OC, I think women have more of an instinct on what is manipulation etc. than men do. We are more in tune with the way things are with other women.
This is sickening. This piece
This is sickening. This piece of crap is making idle threats because her father won't watch her dogs??? Absurd!!! This is manipulation at it's finest and really makes me angry. My SD tried to kill herself after my husband took away the car he gave her because she trashed it. She almost died but she is also extremely mentally ill and was in a state of psychosis. She thought her parents had a tracking device put in her brain, she thinks Hillary Clinton communicates with her through the TV. She even shaved her head and made a hat out of aluminum foil so people couldn't steal her thoughts. This is just the tip of the iceberg with this girl. She spent 4 months in a state institution. After that everyone was afraid of making her mad as she might try to kill herself again. My SD is very sick, twit is sick but in a different way. It will be easy for her and her husband to get away. Either drunkie watches the dogs or they go to a kennel. What utter bullshit this is. Borderlines like to do this; the threat of harming themselves got attention. Keep calling the cops and I hope your DH doesn't fall for this shit. That's what it is.....a pile of shit. If she wants to kill herself then she will. There's nothing anyone can do to stop her. If she wants to die over kenneling her dogs and paying for it then so be it. I'm sorry to sound heartless but I've been through this with a psychotic schizophrenic where the threat was real. Twit on the other hand is lying. She wouldn't hurt herself. I say this with 100% confidence. This is a tactic to create drama and sure enough, daddy is going to talk to her. I guess she got what she wanted. Just wait until your DH gets home. I'm sure she will lay it on real thick. I find this behavior disgusting. After all, she has to be alive for drunkie. What a liar, bullshitter, piece of work.
Hi Amber - To me it is no
Hi Amber - To me it is no surprise that she is ratcheting up the situation to get her way.
Sometimes I wonder if Drunkie isn't just acting out against her and all the craziness he had to grow up with. She told DH she has these "talks" with Drunkie and he always says he is going to change, BUT he never does.
She has problems, she has a big problem with Drunkie, BUT DH and I cannot, are not, going to solve it for her. We, at least I, refuse to get involved.
And you and I both know it is not about the dogs, or Drunkie for that matter. It is about being able to control every one and any one she wants to.
Hi SDM-- I told my DH about
Hi SDM--
I told my DH about your situation. He's especially sympathetic being that his daughter almost died to a horrific suicide attempt (she did not take pills. It was violent). He agrees that twit is manipulating and is not in danger. He found it outrageous that drunkie can't get it together long enough to feed, water and walk the dog for his mom. We both feel for you and your DH and my he thinks you did the right thing by calling the cops. I thought I would share my husbands opinions with you as he has been through a horrible situation.
I read your comment about the Vet calling twit the crazy lady with the dogs. This is absolutely hilarious.
I think you're right about her alcoholic son AKA "drunkie". He's got to be reacting to growing up with a crazy mother. I really hope he seeks out the help he needs. Perhaps he would do better if he moved out of twits house.
Funny; twit acts like she's going to die if she doesn't get her one week vacation but she holds it together when her son has a major substance abuse problem. I think she likes the drunk kid; she uses him as a sympathy tool. Pathetic.
Oh my Amber, Prayers for both
Oh my Amber, Prayers for both you and your darling husband. Must be awfully hard to deal with that.
I appreciate your husband's intake because men, like OC, have a whole different look on things.
I imagine with Twit, she wants something and she is hitting a brick wall like she never hit in the past and is, IMHO, getting angry because she doesn't know how to break it down. Trust me, she isn't done yet and won't be done until the vaca time either passes or we give in.
Yes, I'm battening down the hatches for what might be the storm of the century for us. Kansas would be safer (just a stab there at some humor to try to lighten my mood. A sense of humor in life goes a long way).
Dear SDM- Thank you for your
Dear SDM-
Thank you for your prayers. Our family has been through hell and we are all held prisoners to SD as no one wants to be the one that tips her over the edge. I have never seen such pain as I saw in her parents eyes. My husband never cries but he has cried over this a few times. I can't think of anything more painful than this. It happened a few years ago but the scars are still there ( figuratively and literally for SD). My DH said a part of him died that day. I got the call and sat at my desk at work and stared out the window for hours in shock and sadness. I visited her in the psych ward in a state institution. It was awful. People were screaming, walking back and forth down the halls while talking to themselves. SD's roommate would scream racial epithets at the top of her lungs. I wish twit would be taken on a 72 hour hold in a place like this. That will teach her to make threats like she did. It makes me angry when people like twit make idle threats because people will know it's manipulation and ignore it but then they might tend to disbelieve others in the future that are reaching out for help as they are seriously suicidal. Thank you for your kind post and your compassion. I want to share this experience with you and what led up to it so you can see how twit differs but I'm a little hesitant to give out too many details to this story online as is it highly disturbing and horrific. Just please hear me; twit is too narcissistic to kill herself. I'm angry that she is making a mockery of people who are seriously mentally ill like my SD.
Eventhough I am old, I hope
Eventhough I am old, I hope the market rises in the next year so I can get out what I paid for this house and move away. Enough with crazy. I am in my twilight years, I don't need the aggravation
or stress. If my DD lived in a warmer state, with a lower tax rate, I would move closer to her.
My old schoolmate (we go back to 2nd grade together) is trying to talk me to moving down to Mississippi but that would be a big climate change to get use to. Those storms they have scare me. Even where I am now we get very violent thunderstorms and take tornado warning VERY VERY SERIOUSLY.
using suicide is a drama
using suicide is a drama queens way of getting what she wants. again call the police or the mental health authorities. if she is truly contemplating suicide you will have an intervention with a professional counselor. if she is just being a drama queen she can tell that to the counselor too.
OMG--how about this-----don't
OMG--how about this-----don't have pets if you don't want to have the responsibility of caring for them.
I just have to share this
I just have to share this about the pets. When we moved down here and took our dog to the vet, who happens to be the same vet Twit uses, when DH told him that Twit was his daughter and the vet takes care of her dogs - the vet didn't put the names together right away. And then the vet said, and this to me was telling "Oh, the crazy lady with the dogs".
I think it was a slip with the vet, and I am CERTAIN DH didn't like it, but I registered his comments and never forgot it. Evidently others have her number.
BTW, I LIKE this Vet. He has her number no doubt.
DH has decided, on my
DH has decided, on my counsel, to wait until tomorrow to talk to here when every one has calmed down a bit...especially him. Last time she pulled serious carp he ended up in the hospital with chest pains. Don't want that happening again.
Hopefully, when he thinks about it for awhile he will get a clear handle on it and what is going on.
That is why I want him to
That is why I want him to hold off, for us to get calmer and more collect in dealing with crazy. It isn't easy.
Question - Do those that
Question - Do those that follow through to commit suicide really threaten about it before hand? Or do they make the decision quietly, on their own?
I know there are things that I read you should watch for, like someone giving away their possessions, etc. That certainly isn't happening in Twit's caes, I can tell you.
Or they become calmer, because they have made the decision. Nope, not happening in Twit's case.
Don't have the answers here....just asking the questions.
My SD began to isolate
My SD began to isolate herself. She lived at a family members place and wouldn't leave her room. Then, one day, her family members girlfriend went upstairs for some reason and found her. It was horrific and this person saved her life. The doctors told DH she was almost dead when she arrived at the ER. She told no one and certainly would've died if the girlfriend didn't find her when she did. She had never threatened suicide before or ever. She never tried to give away belongings or any of the other signs they say are things to look for. Remember though, I am talking about someone who is severely mentally ill. She just tried to do it.
She had a psychotic episode at my place when I was home alone with my children. She was staying with us for a few days. The night before I hid the knives and all sharp objects. The next morning I found her in the kitchen crying and asking me where my knives were. Then she asked me to give her my medications (I take lots if meds for my disease). She begged me to let her die. She said "they" were trying to find her and would kill her as they wanted her DNA (to this day I don't know who "they" are). It was scary beyond belief. Had I not hid the knives I know what she would've done. I took her immediately to the hospital. My children were scared (they are teens). She was having a psychotic break so this time the suicide threat was made to me. As you can see, a severely mentally ill person can pursue suicide in different ways. She was not trying to garner sympathy nor was this in a reaction to not getting her way. It's so sad. The first time I think when my DH took her car I think it made her more angry and psychotic then she already was but I don't think she was trying to be manipulative the way twit is. BTW--I know this all sounds really crazy but I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. I hope this helps in providing you some insight.
In your DH shoes I really
In your DH shoes I really would NOT visit with her about this not this evening, not tomorrow, not at all. She's just been caught out in an empty threat. So what's to say after that? Nothing. He should not give her the air space, she will twist it her way -- it's the old story that a negative reaction is as good as a positive to an attention seeker. He and you should carry on as before and if she dares to mention the episode, just change the subject.
She was out doing her
She was out doing her "normal" thingy and never thought, after upsetting her father like she did, someone would take action on it. Hopefully she has learned that some things, like what she just pulled, have consequences because now there is a record of concern for her.
We know that, but its her
We know that, but its her father and as they say, a daughter's a daughter's all of her life.
Right now he is making crepes for breakfast tomorrow to keep himself busy. We will see what goes on etc.
I hope he gets good and angry at what she just pulled. He says Twit was all upset, crying and carrying on that she didn't want to continue with things as they were, life was a bummer, etc. That she really needed help to get away and NO BODY (I tell you No Body) understood what she was going through and she just couldn't and didn't want to deal with life any more. There's more but just more "poor is me - I'm going out to eat worms" dramatic stuff IMHO. I think DH may have over reacted, but I don't know because I am getting it second hand. Actually I don't think he would ever tell me if she said anything about doing something directly. He would keep that to himself.
Regardless, He sure upset me. He's glad I called the police, and yet he's embarrassed because it was about Twit. I think I can understand that. I note that he hasn't told me I was wrong to do so.
This is not really about the dog sitting, this is about Twit and Power and Control. She is losing the power over her father and IMHO is lashing out any way she can to try to get it back.
The great advise about sitting down and telling her we have to set some secure boundaries until she can accept that she has a problem and learn to deal with it, is great advise.
It is easy to see when
It is easy to see when someone is having a psychotic break and to be able to tell the difference as you have stated. I'm going to go and read the link you posted. Histrionics are just that; like having a temper tantrum. When you are with someone and they are having a psychotic break you can see it in their eyes; it's a different type of look. There is an element of paranoia and their thoughts become very disorganized. I just thought I would throw out some of my observations in case anyone else is dealing with someone who they suspect is in crisis. I hope it helps to differentiate between someone who is having a temper tantrum and someone who is in dire need of love and help.
Hi all - bit of an update.
Hi all - bit of an update. DH didn't go down to Twit's last night, nor today. We went to an auction today. Lo and behold, guess who was there? Twit. I just kept my distance and said little more than hello and goodbye.
I guess a couple of times she jabbed DH that I was bidding on something she wanted but....tough. she wants it she needs to pay more than I am willing to. And since I buy to resell, there is a limit on what I will pay for anything.
DH said on the way home that Twit told him she is cracking down on drunkie and expects him to do things and be responsible around the house. I guess today he is suppose to take care of the pooches for her. My, my what a turn around when things aren't going her way, when she can't get DH to take them or run back and forward to take care of them.
Sadly, they came and sat behind us at the auction so she could talk to DH. I didn't hear her bring anything up about yesterday, nor did DH. Public place, not the time or place for such conversations, as DH says. So that quashed any bull she was about to pile up with him about vacation plans. DH said absolutely nothing about taking care of her dogs so things still stand.
Her husband wasn't happy. Probably for the same reason, DH wasn't offering to take care of the pooches. Guess if they can't depend on Drunkie they either will be putting the pooches in the kennel or not going. Not my problem. I've had enough.
Oh, Twit did tell her father that she sent him a Father's Day card a week before Father's Day. doesn't know why he didn't get it. I do.....she never sent one....that is bull carp in the first degree. She even went so far as to tell him...and don't chock when you read this....sent me a Mother's Day card and is insulted that I never acknowledged it! Honestly, how she can lie with a straight face is beyond me. Trust me, she sent me nadda, nothing, and I expected nadda, nothing and like it like that.
You see, she is continuing to push against that wall, looking for a weak spot, an Achilles heel. We all have one so we have to keep our guard up about her.
DH and I haven't spoken about her antics since yesterday, life is just going on. I am not going to bring it up, though he brought up to me what she said about the MD card. I just shrugged my shoulders and, since DH goes out and gets the mail daily, he knows that I received nothing from her so I don't have to defend anything.
She still has it is all I
She still has it is all I know. And, since it is stolen, as she told DH, I don't want to know any more because I don't want to become involved when and if the carp hits the fan on this.
Yes, you are right about feeling defensive. This time, I had no reason to feel defensive at all because DH wasn't inquiring about something. He sees the mail that comes in, he gets it because he walks our dog down to the mailboxes each day. He knows nothing came for me from her. He was just letting me know what she said and that he knew I had received nothing from her.
She is reaching and she is lying her sorry butt off and DH knows it.
Amazing, isn't it, the
Amazing, isn't it, the lengths Twit will go through to try to get what she wants.
Believe me, it is going to get a lot worse as she realizes she is losing grips on DH.
You did notice how all of a sudden she is talking to Drunkie about responsibility. Though DH and I have said we have heard that before from her. Several times when she has been out and about she has called DH to see if he can go let the dogs out and check on Drunkie since he doesn't answer her calls or texts.
I think that is just a story about Drunkie taking care of their dogs today because she wants us to believe that everything is just fine....Drunkie is improving. BUT, mark my words, if she goes away we will be getting calls to go check on things as Drunkie isn't responding to her messages, etc.
That happened last March and she had DH running back and forth checking on things. That is how we ended up with all Twit's booze. Seems after Drunkie had told "Mom" he would be on good behavior and take care of the house, dogs, etc., he proceeded to get wasted and she couldn't reach him. Oh, Twit was oh so worried about things, and DH did bring one (she didn't have the stolen one yet) up to the house as it was obvious the dog was being neglected. BUT, note that all that drama we, mainly DH, had to put up with from her calls, and me with the extra pooch running around, Twit had NO incline of cutting her vacation short. I remember when she came back 3 days later and picked up her dog, hardly a word of thanks and not even a mention of gee folks, let us take you out to dinner or something for all your efforts. Twit just expects.
Well, I don't believe she is going to get her way this time.
It seems an incredible
It seems an incredible coincidence that both sets of spouses ended up at the same auction. Or is this something you all do regularly? Just reading this from the outside I wonder how she found out you would be there?
Hi poodle - There are some
Hi poodle - There are some auction house that feature really nice stuff and I frequent them beause of that. Twit knows that so she may have just come because she figured we would be there ALTHOUGH she goes to the same auction house for the same reason.
Guess if you tried to figure where we would be on the day this auction house was having an auction you would be right 9 out of 10 times if you thought you would see us there.
I have thought about not going there at times, but heck, why should I miss out on some very fine antiques, etc because of Twit. That would just be giving in to her craziness.
Were I your DH, I would buy
Were I your DH, I would buy Twit the Jack Kevorkian handbook and tell her to quit playing games. He also needs to tell her that if she abandons her dogs they are going to the pound so she better save up some money to get them back when her vacation is over.
Grr!!! This manipulative bullshit gets zero mileage with me.
She gets no where with this
She gets no where with this BS with me, but it is a pain to deal with.
I am still shaking my head about the "I sent her a Mother's Day card....it must have got lost in the mail just like your Father's Day card". What a crock.
The reality is the USPO loses very, very few pieces of mail totally. They may get delayed, but they generally turn up.
fighting -GREAT blog!! I
fighting -GREAT blog!! I can't wait until he posts the one about: "How patients with BPD get two or more other people to fight with one another, and how to avoid getting sucked into such fights."
I will probably be printing that one out for my DH.
So, this morning DH gets a
So, this morning DH gets a call from Twit. He put it on speakerphone so I could hear what she has to say. It is basically a...."so, are you going to watch my dogs for me, I told you I sent you a father's day card that got lost in the mail. I just don't understand WHY you and SDM won't do this for me....I really need to get away from drunkie etc."
Sadly it goes on. DH told her no. We have plans and don't want to be tied down by her dogs as we have our own dog to work around.
Once again an outburst of tears and sobbing. DH looked at me (and praise the Lord I was able to keep quiet all this time) and told her to stop bawling and he had to go.
Yippy, Ai Eh Kai Yeah!! (I think that is how it is spelled)
Don't worry, the drama queen isn't done yet. I expect her up here at my door within the next two days pressing her case.
I did suggest to DH, after he hung up the phone, that he might want to suggest that her hubby call his sister to take care of the pooches, let her drive back and forth or have them running at her house. After all, they have no qualms about taking her out and wining and dining her, as Twit has always told us. Or, I suggested Twit's wonderful neighbor might be able to take care of them.
You see, I recall how Twit bragged when her brother had the emergency surgery/hospital stay, SHE had good friends that she could call on to take care of things for her if something like that happened. Yeah, right. If so, perhaps she should call one of them and leave us alone. But the fact is that Twit doesn't have any friends. She has team members and people she sells to, but that is about it.
Yes, Cat, it is too bad about
Yes, Cat, it is too bad about drunkie. But she enables him because, IMHO, she uses him and his actions as a crutch to try to get what she wants. Heck, she has put the arm on DH to drive drunkie to AA meetings because she is sooo busy. Drunkie could care less about AA. Until he hits bottom and realizes that no one is going to keep bailing his sorry butt out nothing is going to change with him. Why should it....Twit pays his room, board, legal fees, buys his ciggy's, etc. and he does absolutely NOTHING around the house but go out with his friends and come home plastered.
"All this over a dog???" Can
"All this over a dog???" Can you believe it? I agree. Tell to come get her booze on her way to the kennel.
What a nut job. Good job to
What a nut job. Good job to your husband. I think I agree with a prior poster. I know ideally you and DH shouldn't help her at all but it would be fun if you took the dogs and put them in a kennel. Hand her the bill when she gets home and tell her where to pick up her stolen animals. This has gone past ridiculous. She knows she can kennel them and she acts like she can't leave unless she hooks her dad into doing what she wants. Why is a 50 year old crying over this? I agree with the poster above; I think she's getting dangerous. I'm sorry you have to be subjected to this utter nonsense.
It's very simple. It is all
It's very simple. It is all about control and the fear she is going through about losing it. IF she has all these FRIENDS she can depend on etc., why keep pestering us? Why not call one of them or her hubby's sister to take care of the dogs. The simple truth is that she has NO ONE that she can depend on other than her father in the past.
IMHO she is becoming scared that he, too, is stopping all the things he use to do for her because of her bad attitude and ungratefulness. With her, it is control, he should do things for her but if he needs something, she doesn't have time - too busy selling pots and pans. How DARE he infringe on her, etc.
Note that he is hearing no more thoughts about possibly harming herself etc. I think the phone call to the police has ended that line of action for her. At least I hope so.
Yep, that is my next project.
Yep, that is my next project. I'm tired of stepping over it and moving it around in my garage. Funny, I just pointed it out to him the week before all this commotion with Twit started that it was time for the booze to go...this after I tripped on the side of one of the boxes.
Ah, heck, I am going to check to see if there is any good wine in them boxes for the upcoming holiday weekend before it goes back. After all, we deserve something for all our inconvenience.
Thank goodness your DH is
Thank goodness your DH is finally saying "NO" to her and sticking with it!!
Twit is a nut. You'll forgive me, but I can't wait to hear what plan of attack she comes up with next! I know you (and now your DH!) are capable of dealing with her!
I don't think it is a good
I don't think it is a good idea for DH to suggest any alternative care for the pooches. This is a disengagement issue. As long as he even refers to the subject of them, and especially if he attempts to advise or problem-solve, she will perceive that he is taking responsibility for them. If she raises them he should simply say "They aren't my concern, sorry". That will leave her with nothing to do but burst into tears or slam down the phone. I'd say bring it on, for then he can get to the next stage. If he discusses them, it'll go round in circles.
Good point Poodle. It was me
Good point Poodle. It was me that told him that she should get her hubby's sister and DH isn't the kind that would repeat that because he doesn't get involved with her hubby's family.
YES, I am proud of him, though there was a time when he wanted to do it, but when I hit the fan, about not getting involved in taking care of her dogs, he got the message (might have been because I was going out for the luggage....just kidding on that, it didn't get that far).
Outside of blowing a gasket when I was first told about the matter, I have tried to keep my cool, which is why this board is great. I get to talk it out here, get advice, talk to some great people, and keep from becoming a witch on the matter which would just put DH and I back on what is almost a year's worth of work....the six he lived with Twit and the 6 he has been back. I mean there was a whole lot I could have added and said when he told me Twit claims she even sent me a Mother's Day card and was shocked that I never acknowledged it. DH knows I received nadda from her. The it got lost in the mail, along with his father's day card is a hoot since we are in the same postal area. I don't know if DH believes that or not, he probably does as he likes to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I sure don't.
And, I agree, too, with Cat....she's not done yet.
You know SDM, something just
You know SDM, something just occurred to me. I think someone may have pointed this out or perhaps it was you but I think she enjoys keeping her alcoholic son at home. She wants him to remain disabled and dependent on her. This way she can play the "oh poor me" routine. "Look at what I have to deal with, oh my God, no one to help me, I have to bear this cross all on my own. Everyone pity me, my poor child, what am I going to do........." Blah blah blah.
My DH's ex-wife and BM to mentally ill schizophrenic/psychotic SD did something similar. When SD was in the mental hospital after her suicide attempt, her mother paraded half of the town, through the hospital to see her sick daughter. She brought people in that SD didn't even know. How inappropriate. SD needed privacy and only close family visitors during this time. Of course if SD wanted visitors then that would be fine but it should've been up to her. She was in a state of psychosis and extremely paranoid as she had not been stabilized on meds yet.
Her mother has dominated her life and controls everything she does. When SD was on a ventilator at the hospital, barely clinging to life, undergoing extensive surgeries, her mother was making sure that the doctors, social workers, patient advocates and her appointed conservator and family members knew that she was in charge. She was bossing everyone around and trying to call the shots. It was obscene. She is a borderline and a narcissist. She only cared about herself. She paraded everyone through and played the victim. "Oh poor me, look at my sick daughter, I'm the only one that can care for her, I'm all alone in this horrible situation, look at my poor daughter, etc.".
After SD was stabilized and released, BM got an apartment for her and paid all the bills to keep control of her daughter. When SD visits with her psychiatrist and therapists, the mother insists on being there; SD can't even have a private session with her doctors. Of course the psychiatrist was hand picked by BM and of course "he's the best money can buy". Since BM pays for all of the appointments, she is in charge. DH and I think BM has seduced the psychiatrist with her checkbook. He should advocate for SD and kick BM out of her sessions.
This is exactly what twit is doing with get son. It's not about the sick adult child, it's all about them. Disgusting.
Amber - How bizarre!
Amber - How bizarre! Parading folk through the hospital to see her daughter in such a condition! I am amazed the hospital even allowed it, but IMHO, I think hospitals are way too lax in that type of situation these days.
Agree with you on the psychiatrist 100%....he should be working for your SD not the BM. If BM is calling the shots, the SD will only get the care the BM wants, she will basically set limits on how and how far things can go and I bet the SD would love to be able to talk candidly with the Doc instead of having the BM always with her. Tragic.
With Twit, she wants to play
With Twit, she wants to play poor me with us. She doesn't want her other family to know what a screwed up loser Drunkie has turned into. Remember, most important to her is that her life, her family, etc. look perfect.
That is why I bet you she was really peeved when the police showed up at her house on Saturday. Neighbors LOVE to "hang out the windows" and try to hear what the problem is. Besides that it was on the police radios and those with scanners (and there are lots that love to hear what is going on) heard it as well.
The one thing that concerns me with this young man is that if he continues down his path, someone will eventually get hurt, killed. Sadly, the drunks always seem to survive car crashes that they cause, it is the innocent victims that die.
Amber, when you posted about
Amber, when you posted about how you can see in someone's eyes when they are in a psychotic break that is so true and so true just in regular life.
I have always taken time to look people directly in the eyes as they truly are the windows to the soul and can generally tell you so much.
There is a guy around here that every one things and says is a good guy. Me, he gives me the creeps. Why, there is just something about his eyes and how they don't seem to, oh how can I express this, relate to what he says a lot of times. And I trust my own instincts and avoid him when I can when I do my daily walking routine.
I think we may have survived
I think we may have survived the storm! Hope I am not speaking too soon, but haven't heard anything more from Twit!
Peace, I hope, until the next assault. Her world is changing and we all know that BP's don't like change they are not in charge of.
Meanwhile, I am enjoying the peace for now. DH held his ground and I applaud him for that, as I am sure it was not easy.