I would NEVER put an 11 year old in charge of other children. Ever.

Are you saying that SD isn't "allowed" to babysit unless she watches your kids for free???? That doesn't make any sense.

If SD actually wants to be a babysitter, she needs to get older, take some classes, get first aid and CPR certified, etc.

Wait a sec here my dd is the oldest and YES she was EXPECTED to help us out and watch her little brothers which included my ss's. She did it for us a lot and never complained it is part of being a family! Of course the difference is that I ask her and always have and that my dh asks me first before he just says here. That is part of being a family too. If you do it that way most people are willing to help their family members out. If they don't they feel taken advantage of which is why we have a lot of sm complaining b/c their dh's just expect and assume without asking first. There is a BIG difference in keeping an eye on your sib. while your parents are in another room and your dh leaving all day for work and expecting someone to watch your kids without asking BIG difference.

Of course I find in very sad I have to explain that.

It sounds as if SMofknowitall thrives on chaos and stirring up conflict. Ignore her comments because she is thriving on responses and the arguement it causes, and the disruption she causes with in the person she attacks. Don't feed into her.

I would be careful with the SD. A year ago we had a custody evaluation done. It was found that SD was being allienated from us through BM efforts. She would come to our home and cause every type of disruption she could from making loud noises, hitting, swearing,running away, calling the police, break things ect. She was on a mission to tear our family apart along with our marriage.

I don't agree with my husbands solution to our problem. He told my SD she was no longer allowed in our home unless she was willing to abide by our house rules ie, being respectful, picking up after yourself etc. But I have to say her biological brothers are happy to have time away from their sister and my 2 children and myself no longer are tip toeing around her and her erratic behavior.

I guess my advice for you is to be consistent in your parenting as exhausting as she can be. Both BD and SM have to be on the same page and be a united front. If your'e not she will use that "crack" to wedge between separating the both of you. Good Luck, hang in there!

Wow, what happened to trying to raise responsible kids? That's how it was back in the day!

As an 11 year old, I didn't have any smaller siblings but I LOVED to hold babies, and did it (cousins friends' babies etc... without a problem.)

I have a 3.8 year old boy and SD is 7. DH sometimes gets mad because SD7 wasn't watching over young brother and he got hurt or something. I absolutely do not agree with this because if something happens it is the parents responsibility not another child.

However, I absolutely agree on teaching kids to be grateful and helpful by letting them be a BIG sister/brother. If you paid for the trip, she could have done that little bitty favor for you. And even if you didn't pay for the trip, you still provide constant care, attention, etc... and kids should be given small responsibilities.

These women exaggerate so much, there is absolutely NO reason why you shouldn't be expected to have SD keep an open eye on younger siblings every once in a while.

If you were to leave her alone, with the responsibility of bathing, feeding, etc... that is one thing, but while you are in the other room? are you kidding me?

Wow, thats why there is a generation of entitled "precious" kids. In which making sure a baby doesn't eat a roach off the floor, or touches a sharp object makes them SLAVES... just "WOW"

Babysitting young siblings is NOT the same as keeping an eye on them.

I'm so glad that my SD does this, she is very helpful, with my son and know she will be a helpful young lady whenever I decide to have another baby.

SD already (gladly) helps her brother brush his teeth and take a bath (with her), while at playgrounds and such, I can tell her "keep an eye on him please" because I know that as a BIG sister she won't let him eat something off the ground, or she would just help him with anything... If something happense, though, it wouldn't be her fault because I'm the parent.

These doesn't mean that I would just not pay attention to him (them) it just means that I know I dont have to go through the slides, I can tell her to watch him for me while they are at those tiny, slides, playing.

I don't care what anybody says, I EXPECT both my SD and my own son, in the future to help out with their siblings. They won't subsitute daycare, but they can certainly HELP OUT.

Wow! sorry you had to go through some of that BSs** from some posters. I felt defensive and I didn't even post this......I think I get what you are saying here. I agree with the whole watch the kids for a second thing! Unless you are IN the situation; you can't really give an opinion? or you can simply agree to desagree.......My SD14 hardly watches ours BS5 - BS9 - (they can take care of themselves basically - the five year old is very advanced). I don't ask her to watch them a lot because I know it's probably annoying; but so is living with HER full time!! Get over it; the other day our neighbor asked her to watch her daughter 3 days a week; (not really paying her either) I said no and so did her dad "for her" we pay her cell phone bill, we give her rides, we let her go to dances, we buy her ALL her stuff (yes, I know this is a parents job) but this teaches her you have to work for stuff you want. We don't 100% trust her; but she knows she better do good with the kids.......would we trust her to watch others...........no! I see what you are saying here!!