I've recently written a "manifesto" gathering what I've learned in my last two years as a childless stepparent. Here's a recent example of how I put this manifesto to use - for my own peace of mind.

http://childlessstepparent.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/the-childless-steppa...

Have you had moments like this, where you made a conscious decision to empower yourself by refusing to repeat old patterns that don't serve you?