OMG OMG OMG

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:jawdrop:

So yet again, SD6 showed up here VERY sick again. Her BM is a true POS that has yet to take her to a doctor. DH "had it" and took SD6 to the ER (Sunday) to be seen by someone to help her. With BM giving him little info on any illness, DH went in "blindly."

So the two of them have just left. OMG though! When he left, I logged online to check my FB and guess what?!?!

RECENT ACTIVITY- BMness }:)

BM went from being "single" to "in a relationship."
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6 people like this. :sick: (poor dude hasn't a clue)

FB-Friend: OMG.....Sooo happy, because so am i....let's compare notes..ain't love grand. Let's get together
2 hours ago • LikeUnlike :O

Did I read that info correctly? This is the woman that has been trying to destroy our marriage for two years!!!! :?

Please, God! Tell me this is so???????? (YAAAAAAAAAY!)

Now, what I need to ask you all is the following;

I am literally the ONLY one who knows this yet in this household :? ...How is DH going to "take" the news when he first finds out? What was your experience? I do not know/ nor can't find out yet to whom she has commited herself to be with...I'm hunting though. OMG when DH "met" me, BM had to know my name, age, occupation, you name it but DH has not a clue to what guy his daughter will be with? Can you imagine how that would bother you? It would bother me not knowing who my kid was around. It's not like while he is at the ER with his sick, neglected daughter that I should call him and tell him this newsflash, you know? Should I wait until SD6 has left tommorow or what? I don't want him making a fool of himself and do not know how he is going to react after having to be the responsible one to finally take the sick kid to a Dr. after a two month illness!

OMG though! THAT is why she went silent! I KNEW something was "up."

????

Please let there be someone here for me to chat with!

I suggest not knowing. Not

I suggest not knowing. Not asking. Just ignore it. They crave the attention. Just because she quizzed your DH about you does not mean their needs to be a vice versa. Just ignore it.

Don't you think I should tell

Don't you think I should tell my husband though?

Or, one could "wait" it out a little bit in case it is just a stupid "trick" again... It's a hard call. I would want to know who is with my kid.

Thanks.

why tell him? I used to look

why tell him? I used to look up BM on fb...DH got mad...asked why I was concentrating on her and her life..it is not our life.

Even if she had 2 boyrfriends simultaneously,...what does it matter? Unless she is abusing the kids hen she can have boyfriends. So what does him knowing do? He is not going to stop it. If the kids mention the guy, ask them if they like him. Isn't that really the only important thing?

and knowing who is with your

and knowing who is with your kid...you don;t get any say. when the child is in either parent's custody, it is that parent's job to protect the child. neither parent can control the other. what if BM veto'd you and said "I don;t want her around my kids." you would hate that and say she had no right to do that. and she does not.

you don;t know where the kids go every minute they are with her...and you are not actually entitled to that information or vice versus. so isn't it just gossip and involving yourself in her life?

Umm. Why do you think DH had

Umm. Why do you think DH had to take SD6 to the ER today?

NEGLECT.

I'm happy actually that she has finally moved on.

the neglect has nothing to do

the neglect has nothing to do with a potential boyfriend. it is her parenting skills.

and he can take her to a doctor to...just like he did. isn't that the only actual important thing in regard to the child? all else is merely wild speculation.

BM has tried to do that

BM has tried to do that before actually. It is a long story.

and you probably thought it

and you probably thought it was shitty. why? because it is. so why would you advocate doing it? revenge? or best interest of the kid?

keep in mind...it will be

keep in mind...it will be hard to make a rational argument that anyone who BM dates is bad for the kid because she is irresponsible...because the fact is that at one point your DH dated her, slept with her and had a child with her. therefore, assuming you like and respect your DH, BM has shown in the past the ability to pick a decent guy.

keep in mind...it will be

I am " just a step mom", I

I am " just a step mom", I regress. I know the phrase well. I have no "right" to care about my husband's daughter.

Are you looking at her FB

Are you looking at her FB because you care about the daughter or because you are being nosey?

I cannot stand our BM and I think she is an idiot. But I have no more right to tell her she is an idiot who can't raise her kid correctly than I would have the right to march over to my neighbor's house and tell them how to raise their kids.

Your husband can discuss welfare issues with the kids. But how is it in any way productive to snoop and find out she has a BF and then to start asking questions about him. Wait until the child mentions the person and if they like the person...what else can you ask for? why create unneccesary conflict?

For instance, or BM is on her second divorce and seeing some new dude. Is it completely stupid that she rushes from man to man? yes. could it affect her children? yes. can we stop her from doing it? NO. so why comment? we don't.

I would ask the same question

I would ask the same question as donegallass, butterflykisses. Why are you even bothering checking out the BM on Facebook? If your husband cared about his ex's relationship status then he would already know before you had a chance to tell him. We find out when the BM has a man in her life when our SS tells us. At that point all we ask is "does XXXXX treat you good?". As long as our SS says "yes", then that's really all that matters.

Neglect. BM can go to the

Neglect.

BM can go to the gym daily and lie about SD6's medical care? I'm a mom as well and I took care of my BD20.

Let me repeat, I am HAPPY that BM finally has someone?!

going to the gym daily is not

going to the gym daily is not exactly an abnormal habit. so i am not sure why you would care? do you also care if she has a daily coffee? or if she likes to talk to her best friend daily? why do you care? there is no law against going to the gym.

what did the ER say about her illness btw?

BM went through a string of

BM went through a string of men ... from when DF & her were sleeping together (can't really even call it dating) until just under 1 year ago. The only thing that DF cared about was that SS was being bounced around to different men's houses as she'd drag him around on dates or whatever and have different men in his home. He told her it wasn't appropriate & think about what she was doing to his perception of women. We have no idea if it stopped, but unless SS came home saying that one of these men had done something - there's nothing much else for us to do/worry about.

One of BM's on & off BFs is now her steady BF, they've moved in together with his son12 & things have very much stabilized in my SS's life. The only thing that DF said when he found out through friends who saw her status on fb (he doesn't have her on his fb cause he couldn't give a sh*t about what's going on in her life) was yaaaayy!!! Please let her leave me alone except when it comes to our son, and hopefully this will bring stability to my son's life ... & the guy better be good to him or else ... LOL

That's ALL you should care about ...

The more you alienate yourself from her personal life the more you can focus on your DH - being one of her entourage on fb isn't going to make her a better parent - just give her the pleasure of knowing you care about what goes on in her life. My advise .. unfriend her from fb & hope she stops neglecting your skid.

OK, I am on Butterfly's side

OK, I am on Butterfly's side here.

When my H found out that BM got married, he did a little dance when he got off the phone and said, "I'm free!!"

As far as what right Butterfly (or anyone) has to find out this information, if it were a complete STRANGER, that's one thing. But this is a (lot of times mentally unstable) person who has the ability to CAUSE A LOT OF STRESS AND UPHEAVAL in a SM's life. Why WOULDN'T a person what to know things that might affect this BM and how they may react?

Our BM got pregnant within a week after the grandbaby was born and got married 5 months later. She forbid the skids to tell us (not sure why that would be). We found out from MIL because of FB.

Now, if BM was so concerned over this information getting out, why in the heck would she put it on FB??

People need to realize that putting anything on the internet (no matter what your privacy settings) is like printing it in the local paper of every paper in the world.

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