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How to explain nicely. ..

Downtowncrabby's picture

So this year I put my foot down and said in not being the babysitter or entertainer or dumping ground. Be there done that last year and all i got was a slap in the face. I told Dh skid will be going to their moms when he is at work. We pay full cs and have them alot. Bm works nights and constantly complains she needs her sleep. So dh tried to make me feel guilty that skid will have a horrible summer. Sorry not my problem. So i take skid home after staying the night at our house when bm works. Every tine skid say it sucks and wants to stay at our house. Dh has told them this is how the summers gonna be. Btw dh tried to reason with bm about cs and keeping the kids. She said nope and she'd find other arrangements. That lasted a week. So how do i explain without being the evil sm and say that bm has custody and they can be at her house when dh not home cuz we tried to work things out and bm said no... also dh babies his kids cuz bm sucksat being a mom. Ponds them off whenever she can. Any thoughts.

Downtowncrabby's picture

I let the skids stay one day and it was a disaster so im not even going there with allowing them here without their dad. He gets mad at them when they dont listen to me but doesnt helo cuz they still continue to not listen.

simifan's picture

I'm assuming these are younger kids since mom is paying for a babysitter and not letting them run wld. You tell the kids, it's mom's time. Dad needs to work & If you are not with dad, you should be with mom. Let mom explain why she ships them off to the babysitter.

If they're over 12 & lets face it there is more then a fair share of teen skids that still need babysitters here, then tell them the truth, You act like heathens, & i'm not gonna tolerate that.

MamaDuck's picture

I put my foot down recently and no longer babysit SD5, I totally know what you're going through. SD asked me why she's always going to Nana's now, I told her it's because I have rules and I've noticed that she isn't used to them, (pointed out examples of when she was upset because I enforced a rule, such as no ice block in the morning, no terrorizing my bunny's, normal things like that), I told her I think it's best for both of us if she spends time with her Nana or Uncle and cousins when her Dad is at work. She seemed to understand, I mean, during the months of family meetings and rule settings etc, SD as well as my boys, are very aware of the differences between mine and SO's expectations, so she nodded to what I said and replied "oh, ok".

Downtowncrabby's picture

Skid are old enough to watch themselves and so they can run wild at bm cuz they dont repect my house or rules and i dont need the stress from them.