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how do you explain to sd that you want to marry mom?

pat's picture

How would you go about explaining to sd that you want to marry there mom ? They are 12, and 16.

iwishyouwould's picture

"Hey kids, your mom and I have something really exciting we want to talk to you about. We are getting married! You're going to have so much fun helping her plan the wedding and pick out dresses - you know us guys arent much good at those types of things!"

pat's picture

I wish it was that easy, there dad is no longer here with us . It has been 3 years.

Synaesthete's picture

It's really up to you and your future wife whether or not you want to talk to the girls alone first or whether you just want to get engaged and have you both talk to them after. Talking beforehand, if the relationship is good, can sometimes be seen by skids as a way that they aren't being forgotten about, but it isn't a necessity.

I think you should just be honest. Let them know how wonderful you think their mom is, how much you love her and them and how you want to share your lives together.

Edited to add that you might want to reinforce that it doesn't mean you would be replacing their dad - there are a lot of different relationships and you would like to be their friend and love them, but that doesn't mean their father is being replaced or forgotten about. It is always a sensitive subject when a parent passes on.

Good luck!

jojo68's picture

Maybe you should approach it by "asking" them their permission to ask her marry you...kinda like a man asks a girl's father. Depends on if your relationship is good with the girls or not really though.