BM's and "Guilt gifts"
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Every time our SS comes to visit us or leaves his BM for a weekend, she buys him what I call, a guilt gift. Like, I'm the better parent because I buy you what you want all the time.. So you should love me more! Poor kid doesn't realize that his dad is actually buying it with all the child support she gets and she barely works. Just tonight while he is here with us for a week, she told him that she got him some dumb new toy he doesn't need. So now mom looks like a super star. Drives me INSANE. Anyone else go through this? I'm pretty sure this child gets toys every week... Funny how they don't understand why he throws tantrums and sulks because he doesn't get his way!
Hi there! Point well taken.
Hi there! Point well taken. He turns 8 next month. While I have no problem with the fact she uses that money on him (as she should) she uses it for junk like this. But always claims poor when it comes to special circumstances like activities and such. She always asks for us to pay half or all as well. It isn't like she is struggling. She lives at home with her parents and manages to drive a brand new vehicle. Kudos to her for doing that but the gifts have got to stop. I feel it's some form of PAS.
Yeah as soon as she figured
Yeah as soon as she figured he got a promotion she started sniffing around for more money. Which is fine, but when she tells her son on the phone he got a new toy because she came into some extra money, something is wrong. I told DH he needs to have a talk with her ASAP.
We have 50/50 custody and
We have 50/50 custody and it's like that *every* time we exchange the twins. It's maddening sometimes, other times it's easy to ignore. Right now it's annoying because their sixth birthday is coming up. BM buys so much junk for them it feels impossible to get them anything they don't already have or can be excited about.
Our BM guilt gifts but also uses money to show love. (At least, love as she defines it.)
I would also like to point out that BM is so riddled with debt that it's never ceases to amaze me they stay afloat in their McMansion. There is so much junk at their house that it always looks trashed -- even when they've "cleaned" up the place.
AND she's successfully filed for bankruptcy once in her life.
My husband decided a long
My husband decided a long time ago he wasn't going to compete with her. But we can both tell it's starting to get out of hand big time. Yeah, poor SS's room is littered with junk and toys. You would think she would at least have the decency to straighten up his room when he is gone but I guess all those afternoon naps get in the way!
What your bm is doing is
What your bm is doing is called parental alienation syndrome. Your dh needs to read "divorce poison" and you need to buy ss a DVD called "welcome back Pluto."
Wow. I just mentioned this to
Wow. I just mentioned this to DH and he was like huh? Bless his heart.
Not saying it will work with
Not saying it will work with this child, but my grown children all saw it for what it was... after they were grown. While they were growing up, I did not badmouth their loser of a father to them. I let them believe he was the hero when he handed them a $20 bill, and I couldn't afford to give them extras because he didn't pay CS. When they grew up, they all realized exactly what had taken place. They are all eternally grateful for the providing that I did, and realize how very little he contributed. Sooner or later, I like to think they all figure it out.