Why does everything have to be so difficult??
DH finally got off his butt and emailed a lawyer about his options regarding BM shipping his kids off to live with her mother without his notification or consent. He was livid (and rightly so) when he first found out that SD9 was transferring schools in January and that SD11 would be transferring after the school year. BM never told him or even gave him the option to take custody of them, even though she clearly couldn't handle them herself. Of course she didn't though. That would mean she would have to give up her hefty CS check. After a couple days, he had calmed down to his usual "don't want to make waves with BM" self and told me there was no rush because nothing was going to happen overnight.
Now, I would much rather BM be a normal person and be capable of taking care of the children she carried for 9 months and pushed out of her hoohah. But she is not. And it makes me angry. Can you imagine how damaged these girls are going to be when they get older? To know that the one person who is supposed to want you no matter what keeps willingly shipping you off? And don't even get me started on the fact that we are STILL PAYING HER CS UNTIL CUSTODY CHANGES. Why isn't DH more angry about this? Why does he drag his feet? All he ever talks about is how he can't wait to get custody of them and now here is his chance and he is so nonchalant about the whole thing.
So after a week, the lawyer finally emails him back saying "My fee to go to court over this will be $9,000." That's it. So being that it would actually take effort on DH's part to find a more cooperative lawyer I think it's safe to say we will continue paying BM $1700/month to not take care of his kids. Great.
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Comments
1. the courts are 99.9% on
1. the courts are 99.9% on the side of the BM whether or not she's an axe murderer.
2. the lawyers know this but look at it as an opportunity to bleed $$$ from NCP biodad
3. yep, you pay massive CS to the BM so she can warp the children, make them sociopaths and academic/social failures in life.
Join the club!!!! woo hoo!
And they wonder why most men just simply walk away.
$9000???? Holy crap!! Wow it
$9000???? Holy crap!! Wow it didnt even cost us that much for two different custody cases, paying two different mediators, 2 different Gaurdian Ad Litems, drug tests, DNA tests, paperwork etc. I would contact the courthouse and see what you would need to do to go at this alone. I mean you would think a judge would rather let the children go live with their dad then their gparents. That is just ridiculous...I think for EVERYTHING we paid, for 2 yrs of court battles, we paid like 7 or 8 grand!! You must live in an expensive area..
She has to be writing
She has to be writing from:
NY/NJ/MA or CA
Nope. We live in a mid-size
Nope. We live in a mid-size city in Texas. Not even Dallas or Houston. You would think for $9,000 we could at least get some type of vague legal opinion or statistic from this guy. My concern is that we would have no idea what we were doing. I mean, I know and you know that children should preferably be with their father than their grandparents, but I have no clue what the courts would say.
My bad. In NY, the attorney
My bad. In NY, the attorney would have asked for $12K just to take your call!!
No worries! Being that I've
No worries! Being that I've never gone through anything like this and have never even spoken to a lawyer other than that time I got an MIP in college it's good to know that this is NOT normal.
Texas here too. DH’s CO
Texas here too. DH’s CO said EOWE but he was getting SS almost every other week about 10 years ago. BM got a bee up her butt, and told DH he that they were going back to the CO and EOWE. DH went to a lawyer and he said he would take the case for $10,000 and there was a 95% chance that DH would lose.
BM was PAS ing and was a big whore around SS, but the lawyer said unless she was REALLY. REALLT, REALLY messed up, (crack whore – beat the child in front of people) they would not give DH more parenting time. Period.
I have to ask…why is your DH’s CS so high?! One of your other blogs said his CS was $1700 per month on a $66,000 per year salary. Why is he paying so much? He should not be paying over $1000
$66,000 is actually his
$66,000 is actually his post-tax salary, not his gross, and he has a third child from this wretched woman, but she is only 5. A lawyer once told him the same thing about BM having to be a crackwhore in order to get custody but we were hoping that since the school transfer papers could serve as proof that she willingly gave up her children (after only having them one semester mind you)and it would be in the children's best interest to be with their father, which is what we were asking the lawyer (basically asking if we have a good case). But as we know Texas is definitely a pro-BM state.
Sorry,,,I'm no lawyer...but
Sorry,,,I'm no lawyer...but IMHO..you just do not have a good case. Has she changed the kids yet? All BM has to say is that she is going to go live with them too.
I also want to let you know this is not a bad thing…yes it sucks to give BM all of that money,,,BUT at least the little darlings are not living with you.
Your life would change in ways that you could never imagine if you become a custodial step parent. If your DH does not care enough to fight for it, I sure wouldn’t hold it against him! Lol.
I would have giving ½ my salary to BM if she just would have kept her own kid.
She has officially
She has officially transferred one of the kids and the other will be going at the end of the year. I don't know about SD5. She sent them to live with their grandmother last school year as well but DH didn't do anything at that point because she said she was going to move them with her the following year.
I know in my heart of hearts that them living with the grandparents is what is best for our marriage, but I just feel so terrible for them. My mother would never do that to me and I would never do that to my unborn baby. They are already sad that the soon-to-be-born baby gets to have two parents 100% of the time. Can you imagine how you would feel in that situation? Trust me. They are not angels in the slightest. In fact they are pretty damn obnoxious. But my heart just goes out to them. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones though and after I give birth I will change my tune.
$22,400 is GG's post tax
$22,400 is GG's post tax salary and he pays $1000 a month to the Behemoth.
WHICH leaves him with 10,400 for the year and he pays an additional AT LEAST $500 taxes on April 15th.
So just under 10K is what GG gets to keep.
WOO HOO!
Good thing I"m there to make up the difference!! Of course you'd think GG would cherish me for it, but he takes it for granted and "bites the hand that feeds him."
Here's the food chain:
Behemoth/Skids bite GG, GG bites me and my bios