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Life insurance

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 10:45am

I was recently diagnosed with MS last week. DH and I were talking in bed last night and I told him that if something were to happen to me that my life insurance ( about 500K) upon my death is to be used ONLY for the raising of our 6 year old that it is NOT to be used to send my skids to college or anything else of that nature. He seemed to feel this was offensive and told me that if I was dead that there was nothing I could do and that if I left the money to a third party he would not accept any of that money to support our child.

Comments

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 10:49am

Good, leave it in trust to your 6 year old with percentages to pay out at 18,25,30 and a finaly payment at 40.

If something happens to you, your DH can file for SS survivor benefits for your child and will get an income per month for the kiddo because his mom is dead. So your DH will have income to assist raising YOUR kid, meanwhile YOUR kid gets the life insurance policy.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 10:56am

I realize that, they had been talking brain tumors and brain bleeds earlier in the week which is how the subject came up. Trust me I will out live DH because I just don't have the faith that he would raise BS the way I want it done.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 10:53am

What I wish is that if I died my parents raised BD not DH. He just isn't capeable of doing it on his own & I know he would not let my parents see BS like I would like. He was talking he would move to Florida to be with his parents..WTF.

I am debating changing the policy putting my parents in charge of the money so they could fight him in court if need be.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:22am

Absolutely leave it in a trust for your child, & like FAA said, have someone you know will have your child's best interest in mind...maybe best an outside party, act as your executor.

And I FOURTH that your husband is an ass.

Regardless of diagnosis or survival rates...this applies to ANYone...make these types of arrangements sooner rather than later. That way, it's taken care of.

Your child is taken care of, & you won't have to worry about it again.

This is important.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:29am

OMG funny you should post this today as I have been very troubled lately about what to do with my life insurance. Right now DH is listed as my beneficiary with BS3 as a Contingent. however, I have become very nervous about how DH might spend said money. I dread broaching the subject with him, because I feel I will get the same response that your DH gave you. But I am adamant that I do NOT want a dime to go to either skid either directly or indirectly.

DH is pretty wise with money, but I just worry that he would say; pay off the house and then squander the money that he is saving on a mortgage payment on a car, college etc for SD15. I can hear him now justifying it by saying that BS3 will be taken care of, not to worry about it etc etc. which I believe to be true... I truly don't think DH would just leave BS3 out to dry, but I just want the absolute BEST for BS3 not the leftovers after SD15 and SS14 are done dragging DH through the ringer.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:32am

Set up a trust in the will...I have that for my BS and indicates how the money is to be spent.

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 12:08pm

Yep. I have one policy that splits between my kids at 50/50.
I have another that splits 3 ways. DH,DD,DS at 33% each.

In my opinion, the skids got theirs "prepaid" since I invested in 529 accounts for them for college.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 1:01pm

This is where SO and I are at. He wants nothing to go to his kids because BM will get her hands on it. If SO dies it goes to me, if I die mine is split between SO and my 3 bios.

We don't have anything in place if we both die at the same time. We want to set up a trust to split between all of our bios, but in the case of SO's DD23 it would go to our grandson at the ages we decide. In SD14's case we want it to set up for her at certain ages as well for school or specific uses only. Otherwise BM will blow it all.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 2:35pm

Yes my husband can be quite an a$$hole. I have to say that I often feel that my life would be way better w/o him. Trust me I have a plan that I am working on... we are short selling the monster money pit ( one of the chains that binded me to him) and have a plan to get our debt paid off in the next few years. If at that time I wish to remain married we will if not I will divorce him. Things are better than what they were but I know I deserve better.

I went to see a divorce attorney last year and I would end up paying him CS even if I had full custody, however this is where I decided to make a plan.... Things have been better but he will never be the partner that I deserve.

I am going to see about a will and get things spelled out the way I want. My skids are awesome boys and I have been with them since they were 5 & 7 ( now 13 & 16) but I am not providing for them they have 2 perfectly good parents who need to have their shit together for that.

Thanks for the well wishes ladies... considering where I was at a week ago today I am totally okay with whatever somes my way Smile with my health. I would love to not feel exhausted but it is great to be working again and being there for my son.